In My Nature
by RowieLang
Summary: Commencing in the last ever episode of The Flying Doctors, 'Life Lessons', In My Nature follows on from the conversation between Jackie and Guy of the story of the Scorpion and the Frog. Sometimes the need for control is just in a person's nature.
1. Chapter 1 - Outcry

**The Flying Doctors**

_**In My Nature**_

Chapter 1 - Outcry

**XxXxX**

_2225, Wednesday, 18/3/92_

It had been a long, emotional day, but Jackie felt good about her decision. As she reached the top of the stairs of the Majestic hotel, she began making plans for her afternoon off tomorrow. Perhaps a bubble bath, followed by a relaxing walk in the sunshine? Definitely a huge ice cream, as she had already promised herself earlier that day. With a sigh, she began unpinning her badge from the left hand-side of her uniform.

Turing the corner and heading towards her room, Jackie stopped at the sound of an unusual noise. Glancing around, she quickly realised it was coming from Rowie's room.

Pausing, Jackie listened more intently, quickly determining it was the sound of crying.

Arriving at the door, Jackie held her breath, until she heard yet another distinct sob.

"Rowie?" she tapped lightly on the door.

The noise stopped.

"Rowie?" Jackie repeated, reaching for the door handle.

Slowly opening the door, Jackie squinted to see into the dark room.

"Are you all right?" Jackie stepped into the room, her eyes gradually adjusting to the dark.

She saw Rowie sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What's up?" Jackie frowned.

Receiving no audible reply, she crossed the room to switch on the nearby lamp.

Jackie arrived by the side of the bed, reaching for her friend's shoulder.

Rowie flinched immediately from the contact.

"Rowie?" Jackie pleaded. Only then did she begin to take in the other anomalies; the undone buttons on Rowie's pale blue blouse; her smeared make-up.

Suddenly, Jackie felt an eerie familiarity sweep over her. Rowie's reaction and dishevelled appearance were all too symptomatic.

"I'll be right back," Jackie reassured, and quickly left the room.

Once she arrived back out into the corridor, Jackie felt the adrenalin kick in.

Trying to think as fast as she could, she crossed the hallway to Clare's room, knocking loudly on the door.

"Clare!" Jackie called.

"Come in," came the warm reply.

Stepping into the large room, Jackie drew a frantic breath. "I need your help. It's Rowie. Something's happened, I need you to get Geoff here," Jackie sighed, hoping her suspicions were unfounded.

"Is she all right?" Clare stood and hurried towards the door.

"No, I, I don't know," Jackie stuttered.

"Well, isn't Guy in his room?" Clare shrugged.

"Just get Geoff. Please Clare," Jackie begged.

"Right," Clare nodded, hurrying towards the stairs to get to the nearest telephone.

Jackie rushed back into Rowie's room, careful to close the door behind her. Crouching down in front of her colleague, Jackie tried to establish eye-contact.

"I've asked Clare to call Geoff," Jackie spoke softly. Waiting for several moments, Jackie continued to study Rowie's disposition. Her head was bent forwards, and her gaze lowered, which prevented Jackie from being able to make eye contact.

Jackie was momentarily distracted by the unmistakable bluish bruising on Rowie's left thigh.

"Rowie? Did somebody hurt you?" Jackie swallowed, not sure if she was going to receive any form of response.

Jackie sat still for what felt like eternity. Trying to offer the least form of intrusive comfort she could think of, she slowly reached forwards and touched Rowie's hand.

As Rowie felt Jackie's warm hand against her own, the hot tears pricked her cheeks.

Jackie sighed helplessly. "It's going to be all right," she reassured.

**XxXxX**

Penny and Geoff had been talking in the office at the base for the past ten minutes.

"Does Kate know?" Geoff asked, perched on the desk, his hands clasped together.

"Are you going to tell her?" Penny answered defensively.

"Do you want me to?" Geoff continued.

"No," Penny whispered.

"You're asking me to lie to my wife?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm asking you, not to tell the truth." Penny watched as Geoff considered her request.

Both were taken by surprise by the sound of a phone ringing. Standing from the desk, Geoff moved quickly out to the phone by the radio.

"Royal Flying Doctor Service, Geoff Standish." He stifled a yawn.

"Geoff, it's Clare, Kate told me you were still in the office," she stammered.

"Just about to leave, what's up?" he frowned.

"Jackie needs you over at the pub urgently." Clare managed to phrase the request in a suitable tactful manner.

"Can't Rowie or Guy handle it?" he shook his head, turning as Penny appeared beside him.

"No, she insisted I call you," Clare answered vacantly. "Geoff, please hurry."

"On my way." He sighed, as he put the phone down and dashed back to his office to collect his bag.

"What's up?" Penny frowned at his increased speed.

"Something at the pub. You coming?" Geoff arrived in the main entrance and waited impatiently for Penny to catch up.

"Sure." She flicked off the lights and scurried after him.

**XxXxX**

Clare had been slowly pacing up and down the corridor when she eventually saw the door open and Jackie step out into the hallway.

Keeping her voice low, Jackie approached Clare, after first ensuring that they were alone.

"Geoff's on his way. He was at the base, so he shouldn't be too long." Clare clasped her hands nervously in front of her. "Jackie, what's this all about?"

Glancing back in the direction of Rowie's room, the nurse hesitated, but realised she needed to tell Clare so that Geoff would come upstairs with the minimum amount of attention possible.

"It's serious, Clare. I need you to go downstairs and wait for Geoff. Get him up here as quietly as possible. It's important that no-one else knows what's going on." Jackie watched as the worried look intensified on Clare's face.

"Yes, but what _is_ going on?" Clare shook her head, only then beginning to appreciate Jackie's subversive behaviour.

Taking a final glance around her, Jackie lowered her voice further. "I'm pretty sure she's been raped."

**XxXxX**

As he ran down the main street towards the pub, Geoff was just able to spot Clare by the front door.

"Clare, what's going on?" Geoff shook his head, as he noticed the tears streaming down her face.

"Clare, what's the matter?" Penny raised her voice at the state Clare was in.

Clare managed to pull herself together and grasped his arm. "Upstairs, Geoff."

"I don't understand? Is someone hurt?" Geoff was taken aback by the expression on Clare's face.

Lowering her voice, Clare managed to answer him through a fresh set of tears. "Jackie just found Rowie upstairs. She, she's been raped."

**XxXxX**

Vic looked up as Clare, Geoff and Penny walked purposefully into the pub and passed the bar.

"What's up, Doc?" Vic shrugged, noticing the medical bag in Geoff's right hand.

"Don't worry mate," Geoff dismissed, with a reassuring shrug.

Arriving at the top of the stairs, Geoff turned to Penny and lowered his voice. "Pen, I need you to stay out here with Clare. Try and keep everything quiet, don't say anything to anyone. And under no circumstances, are we to be disturbed."

Penny simply nodded, thoroughly overwhelmed.

Geoff stood beside Clare, who knocked quietly on the door.

"Oh, thank God," Jackie sighed, as she slipped out through the door, and closed it behind her.

"What happened?" Geoff spoke slowly.

Nodding and swallowing as she put an answer together, Jackie waited until Clare and Penny were out of earshot.

"I found her about ten minutes ago." Jackie shook her head. "It was the second I touched her that I knew what had happened. Well, I knew in my gut, I suppose."

"But did she actually disclose to you?" Geoff prodded, placing his black medical bag down on the floor.

"I asked her what happened, but she wouldn't answer me. So I went out and had Clare ring you. It wasn't until I went back in that I noticed the bruising on her thigh. I asked her if she'd been hurt," Jackie answered.

"And?" Geoff coaxed, somewhat impatiently.

"She started crying," Jackie replied.

"Right, well, let's see if we can move her to hospital. Take it from there," Geoff picked up his bag again, and followed Jackie back towards the hotel room.

Following Jackie into the room, Geoff closed the door softly, and slowly turned around.

"Rowie, Geoff's here." Jackie took a seat on the edge of the bed.

Hesitantly, Rowie looked up from her fixed gaze on the pale blue rug, although she did not meet eyes with him.

Drawing a deep, perplexed breath, Geoff glanced around the room, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Only then did he take several steps from the door to the side of the bed.

"Rowie?" he stated simply.

He studied her glassy-eyed expression, before nodding for Jackie to step back outside.

Quietly, Geoff closed the door after them.

"See what I mean? Jackie whispered.

"Yeah; it's not something you can describe, but you know it when you see it." Geoff sighed. "I'll get Clare to organise an ambulance, and we'll wait until we get her to hospital.

"Geoff, we can't drag her through the pub like that," Jackie protested immediately.

"No, you're right." Geoff tapped Jackie's arm supportively, "You stay in there with her, and I'll get things set up out here. I'll get everyone out downstairs. Once the ambulance is here, we can bring her down."

"Assuming she can walk," Jackie pre-empted.

"You'll need to find that out. It's important I keep my distance until she's ready. If we've got any chance of getting an exam done later on, we need to take things very slowly for the next few hours. Discretion is the name of the game here, Jackie."

"I know. I've done this before, Geoff," Jackie muttered.

"You probably know more about this than me, I'm sorry." Geoff remembered Jackie's extensive ED background.

"The crucial part is not losing evidence in the transfer. Once we get her downstairs, we can move her to the stretcher. Can you have that waiting at the bottom of the stairs?" Jackie frowned, making sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

"Will do. I'll come back up once the ambulance is here." Geoff waited until Jackie had disappeared back into the room, before turning around to Clare and Penny.

"I know this is hard to deal with, but it's important we keep this calm and quiet. Penny, I want you to stay here. Under no circumstances is anyone to enter that room without Jackie giving the all clear." He squeezed her arm supportively.

"Sure." The young girl nodded nervously. "Is Rowie all right?"

Frowning, Geoff tried to convey the complexity of his answer into words his 21 year-old sister-in-law could understand. "She's in shock, Pen."

"Well, who did it?" Penny felt her shoulders rise and fall with emotion.

"We'll worry about that once the police get here." Geoff stroked her shoulder several times, although knowing he had more important things to attend to. "Penny, I really need to go downstairs. Will you be okay up here?"

Without uttering a sound, she nodded several times.

Gesturing for Clare to follow him towards the stairs, Geoff wrapped am arm around her shoulders. "Clare, I need you to phone through for an ambulance. After that, can you ring Kate and tell her I've been delayed. I'll try and ring her as soon as possible."

"What about the police?" Clare asked, remembering all-too-well, the last time they'd dealt with a similar situation.

"Ah, yes," Geoff rubbed his eyes. "You know the procedure for reporting?"

"Of course," Clare replied with a nod.

"All right. I'm going to go and speak to Vic." Geoff headed downstairs, hovering at the bottom of the stairs, as Clare commenced the phone calls.

Running his left hand over his hair, Geoff took a step through the blinds, glancing around the room before approaching the bar.

"What's up, Doc?" Vic sidled over, drawing in his lower lip in concern.

"Mate, can I have a word with you in the kitchen?" Geoff looked in the direction of the kitchen door.

"Sure." Vic followed Geoff through.

"Vic, we've got a situation upstairs. I need everyone out of the pub as soon as you can," Geoff instructed.

"Streuth, what's happened?" Vic frowned.

Geoff hesitated, knowing that Vic and Rowie were especially close.

"I'll tell you later, mate. But for now, I just need you to close up as quickly as you can." Geoff patted the older man's arm.

"Right." Vic cleared his throat, and walked back out towards the bar.

Geoff waited in the doorway, listening to the moans of complaint from the patrons at Vic's announcement.

"What's going on, Geoff?" Nancy asked, as Steve brought a stack of dirty glasses into the kitchen.

"We've got a situation upstairs. Ah, has anyone seen Johnno recently?" Geoff asked, considering the possibility of a transfer.

"Had a pool game with Johnno about an hour ago; said he was heading up to bed." Steve shrugged. "What's the big emergency?"

"I can't talk about it, Steve. But we've got an ambulance on the way, and I need everyone out of here." Geoff walked back through to the pub, watching as Vic shooed away the last of the drinkers.

Rubbing his hand across his mouth, Geoff looked between the only three people left in the room; Vic, Nancy, and Steve, trying to decide what explanation to give.

"Steve, look I'm sorry, I need you to head home, mate. Penny or Clare'll talk to you tomorrow." Geoff patted the young man's shoulder several times.

"Ah, right," Steve muttered, mildly put out by the exclusion. Nonetheless, he headed out the front door of the pub and back to the garage.

Arriving by his wife's side, Vic frowned, "Right, doc. So what's this about?"

Looking between the older couple, Geoff gestured to the nearby table. "You'd both better sit down."

Vic secured his arm around his wife's shoulders as they both turned back to Geoff.

"I'm afraid it is serious; and what I have to tell you is going to be difficult for you to hear." Geoff turned in his seat, hearing the approaching sirens.

Vic suddenly realised there was one person who's name hadn't been mentioned in the last ten minutes. "Doc, it's Rowie, ain't it?"

Geoff turned back suddenly, his mouth opening at Vic's deduction. "I'm afraid so, mate."

"Well, what's happened?" Nancy demanded, clutching Vic's hand.

"It appears as though she's been assaulted." Geoff deliberately kept his wording vague.

"By who?" Vic demanded immediately.

"We don't know yet," Geoff answered.

"How, how badly is she hurt? Why is there an ambulance?" Nancy's voice rose in pitch significantly.

"We don't know much at this stage." Geoff looked back, as the front door opened, and the two ambulance officers wheeled the stretcher into the bar.

"Thanks, guys." Geoff left Nancy and Vic.

Quickly he crossed the room. "If you can bring the stretcher to the bottom of the stairs, I'll organise the rest." Geoff reached for the red blanket that was folded on the end of the stretcher.

"A brandy mightn't be a bad idea, Vic." Geoff subtly indicated in Nancy's direction.

"Right." Vic stood slowly.

**XxXxX**

As Geoff arrived at the top of the stairs, he saw both Penny and Clare walking up and down the hallway, arm in arm.

Arriving outside Rowie's room, Geoff was just about to enter, when he heard hurried footsteps approaching.

Turning, he stepped back from the room, as Johnno looked between all three of them with a confused expression on his face, having just been awoken. "What's with the sirens?"

Penny and Clare looked immediately to Geoff, who let out a long, exasperated breath.

"Geoff, what are you doin' here?" Johnno frowned, gradually appreciating the seriousness of the situation from the solemness of everyone's faces.

"You, stay," Geoff ordered sharply, before knocking lightly on the door and waiting for Jackie to come back out.

"The ambulance here?" Jackie asked, as she closed the door behind her and noticed the new addition to the group.

Geoff looked between Johnno and Jackie, knowing that at any second, Johnno was going to have ascertained the situation.

"Vic and Nancy are downstairs. I'll get everyone out your way there, then come back and help you with the transfer, all right?" Geoff tapped Jackie's arm encouragingly.

"Sure." Jackie nodded, taking the blanket from him, and disappearing back into Rowie's room.

Pre-empting Johnno's concerned outburst, Geoff arrived quickly in front of him. "Clare, is it all right if we all go into your room for a few minutes?" Geoff gestured towards the ajar door.

"Fine," Clare replied.

"What's the hell's going on?" Johnno demanded, as soon as the bedroom door closed.

Looking from Penny, to Clare, and then finally to the pilot, Geoff gave him the same answer he'd given Vic and Nancy. "Jackie found Rowie in her room a little while ago. It appears she's been assaulted." Geoff looked back again to Clare and Penny, hoping that they would appreciate his subtle variation of the specifics.

"Assaulted? By who?" Johnno demanded, anger and concern quickly surfacing.

"We're not sure." Geoff looked between all three of them once again. "Can you all stay in here for a few minutes? The last thing Rowie needs at the moment is an audience."

"Geoff, do you need us on standby?" Clare raised an eyebrow discreetly.

"Ah, yes, might as well Clare. I'll ring you at the base as soon as I can. And see if you can find Guy." Geoff glanced around the room slowly.

"Will do," Clare acknowledged.

"Right, everyone stay in here until we leave." Geoff headed towards the door.

Closing the door to Clare's room, Geoff proceeded back up the corridor, just as Jackie opened the door.

"Do you need a hand?" Geoff asked, deliberately keeping his distance.

"No, I think we'll be all right." Jackie turned back, wrapping the large red blanket around Rowie's shoulders. "It's all right, there's no-one out here besides Geoff."

Geoff watched as Jackie led Rowie into the hallway. Slightly dazed by her surroundings, Rowie squinted at the sudden increase in light, instead focussing her attention on the red rug that ran along the centre of the hallway.

"I'll get that, you just look after her," Geoff spoke quickly, seeing Jackie turn to close the door behind her.

Jackie nodded, and keeping her arm around Rowie's shoulders, walked her slowly down the hallway and towards the stairs.

"Jackie, is there a key somewhere?" Geoff frowned as he looked around the room.

"I have no idea," Jackie answered.

"Right," Geoff sighed, cautiously entering the room a final time.

Switching on the light, he glanced around. Nothing seemed out of place, aside from the blood-stained floral bedspread.

Just as he turned to leave, Geoff noticed the cluster of keys on the small table by the sink.

Geoff arrived downstairs and pulled the two ambulance officers aside. "I'll just make sure everyone's out of here." Geoff continued on swiftly through to the saloon.

"She all right, Geoff?" Vic looked up from his seat beside Nancy at the small table.

"We'll know more once we get her to hospital, mate. Perhaps it's best if the two of you waited in the kitchen?" Geoff spoke awkwardly.

"Now look Geoff, I've known Rowie since she was knee-high to a grasshopper, if something bad's happened, we wanna know about it," Vic raised his voice insistently.

"I understand, Vic. But at the moment, what Rowie needsis some space and the less people around her the better." Geoff felt himself being pulled closer to the point where he would have to tell Vic and Nancy the truth.

"Well, I _don't_ understand. You haven't told us what's happened. Is she all right or isn't she?" Nancy stood from her seat, arriving beside her husband.

"Look, if you'll both come through with me to the kitchen, whilst they get her into the ambulance I'll tell you what's going on," Geoff replied, appreciating the significance of the relationship.

Turning to his wife, Vic nodded, and followed behind Geoff as they all walked back towards the kitchen.

Nancy paused, as she passed the doorway leading to the stairs, just able to spot Rowie and Jackie at the bottom of the stairs.

Scurrying in behind her husband and Geoff, Nancy could barely contain herself whilst Geoff closed the door.

"What the hell's goin' on, Doc?" Vic waited, seeing Geoff clasp his hands to his mouth, thoughtfully.

"Look, we don't know the full story yet. I need to stress to you that this must remain strictly confidential. You are not to mention this to anyone, understood?" Geoff looked between them in turn.

"S-sit down, love." Vic felt his blood run cold, helping Nancy onto the nearby stool.

"I'm sorry, there's no easy way to say this. Given the nature of Rowie's injuries, we believe she's been sexually assaulted." Geoff alternated his glance between Vic and Nancy, not sure who was going to react first.

"Geoff!" Jackie called sharply.

"I've got to go," Geoff had no choice but to leave the couple, and rush back through the pub towards the bottom of the stairs.

"What's going on?" Geoff moved briskly down the corridor, seeing Jackie placed strategically between the two ambulance officers.

"She won't get onto the stretcher Geoff," Jackie spoke, her voice tinged with panic.

"Okay, look, let's just all calm down for a moment here." Geoff arrived next to Jackie.

Turning around, he spoke quietly to the ambulance officers, "Ah, we'll meet you two outside, thanks guys."

With understanding nods, the two men left.

Geoff turned back around, only then noticing Rowie's grip on the banister.

"Now, it's just us, see?" Jackie gestured to Geoff.

Rowie looked down at her hand, clutching the red blanket. "I don't want to do this," she whispered.

"I know." Jackie nodded, looking back to Geoff desperately.

"Rowie, I promise you, we're not going to do anything you don't want to." Geoff saw his colleague slowly process his words, before dropping her left hand from the banister.

"That's it," Jackie encouraged, as Rowie walked around towards the side of the stretcher. "Now, I'm just going to take the blanket, and then place it back over you, as soon as you lay down." Jackie waited for Rowie to follow her instructions.

"That's good." Jackie glanced across to Geoff deliberately as Rowie negotiated her way onto the stretcher.

Geoff nodded discretely, knowing that Jackie had been referring to the bruises on Rowie's thighs.

"There." Jackie placed the blanket back over her, tucking in the sides. "Can we leave the straps, Geoff?"

"Sure," he answered quickly.

"Now we're just going to raise the stretcher and then take you out to the ambulance." Jackie arrived to the head of the stretcher, looking back to Geoff as they coordinated the lift.

**XxXxX**

"It's gonna be all right, love," Vic rubbed Nancy's shoulder, "Just try not to upset yourself. Not gonna help any."

"But how could this have happened? Whilst we were all down here? Who could've done such a thing?" Nancy sobbed.

"Look, Geoff said they ain't sure." Vic tried to remain stoical for his wife's benefit.

"Then why did he say it?" Nancy dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.

Vic remained uncomfortably silent, feeling tears come to his eyes.

Both turned as they heard the door open behind them.

"Vic, Nancy?" Geoff stepped into the room. "We're heading to the hospital. Please, it's important you don't mention this to anyone. Clare and Penny know, but no-one else. It's important that it stays that way until the police are involved."

"Doc, who did it?" Vic muttered.

"We don't know, Vic. That's why it's crucial no-one talks about this. Now, I've locked her room and I've got the key, but no-one is to go in there until after the police have been. It's vital that nothing gets disturbed." Geoff looked between each of them.

"Yeah, right." Vic nodded and squeezed his wife's arm supportively.

"Look, ah, we've got a long night ahead of us still. Clare and Johnno are on standby in case Rowie needs to go to Broken Hill or Sydney. I'm sorry, I need to get back." Geoff looked back towards the doorway.

"Sure," Vic answered, knowing he was the only one who had absorbed the information.


	2. Chapter 2 - Shock

Chapter 2 - Shock

Geoff tossed the last saline-soaked gauze into the kidney dish.

"Well, there doesn't appear to be any physical injury." He met Jackie at the foot of the trolley.

Jackie lowered her voice. "I know how to do this. Look, I, I'm not trying to second guess you, or over-step my authority. I just want to make sure we get the best outcome here," Jackie spoke awkwardly. She was all too aware of the last time she'd questioned his judgement on a case.

"It's all right. It's been a long time since I've had to be the primary physician for something like this. You're probably a lot more familiar with current protocol," Geoff acknowledged.

"There are parts of the forensic collection that I am qualified to carry out, and in the absence of another female doctor," she trailed off.

Geoff interrupted immediately, "As long as you stick to the limits of your qualifications regarding the legal aspect, I'm happy for you to run this."

"First step is obtaining consent; otherwise we're going nowhere." Jackie sighed.

"Right." Geoff nodded, as Jackie made her way back up to Rowie's side.

"How you doing?" Jackie lowered the railing of the trolley.

Still not uttering a response, Jackie saw Rowie's chin begin to tremble involuntarily.

"It's all right," Jackie repeated, exchanging brief glances with Geoff.

"Rowie, tonight when I found you, you were dazed, your blouse was torn and I noticed multiple bruises," Jackie spoke carefully.

"I don't want to talk about it," Rowie answered quietly, yet determinedly.

"You don't have to," Jackie reassured immediately. "But it's important that we examine you." Jackie watched her patient's reaction intently. "If only to make sure you're not hurt."

Rowie felt the implications of Jackie's words hit her; the humiliation washed over her. "I'm not hurt," Rowie spoke in a clinical, detached tone.

Geoff watched on, intrigued by Jackie's sensitivity.

"Good," Jackie whispered. "Rowie, I know you know all of this. It's important that you're examined, not only for physical injury, but also for forensic evidence."

Rowie shook her head vehemently.

"I promise, we'll go as slowly as you need, but you have to let us help you," Jackie pleaded.

Geoff stayed perfectly still, alternating his glance between each of his colleagues.

Jackie waited, knowing that forcing a reply or even eye contact was going to make the situation worse.

"I know," Rowie eventually murmured.

"Give me a minute, Row," Jackie touched the back of Rowie's right hand very gently before crossing the room.

"She's in shock," Jackie muttered as quietly as she could.

"Well we don't know if that's emotional or physical trauma." Geoff sighed.

"God, how the hell did this happen?" Jackie shook her head.

"We're going to do our best to find out Jackie," he replied.

"Okay." Jackie took a quick breath. "I'd like to start with some diazepam, it's standard protocol. As long as we're not taking a verbal statement for legal purposes, there's no problem. We can still take a history for medical purposes, it just isn't admissible. Ten megs IM is the usual dose," Jackie answered professionally.

"I'll go get it." Geoff slipped off the examination gloves. "Would you like me to see if Kate can come in to help?" Geoff suggested.

"Mightn't be a bad idea," Jackie answered.

Jackie turned back towards Rowie as Geoff left the room.

Jackie glanced back down at her patient, seeing the silent tears trickle along Rowie's cheeks.

"Everything's going to be all right." Jackie clenched her jaw tightly, to stop herself from crying. "I'm going to hold your hand, ok?" She reached forwards, carefully grasping her friend's right hand. "It's all right," Jackie repeated softly.

**XxXxX**

As he walked down the hallway towards the supply room, Geoff felt the events of the evening begin to catch up with him. He found himself pondering the same question as he suspected everyone else had: _Who did this?_

Swallowing, there was only one name that came to mind. Geoff couldn't rationalise his instincts, but he'd learnt over the years to listen to them.

Shaking his head in thought, Geoff knew he'd let things go too far between his colleagues. He thought back over the conversation he'd had with Guy only several weeks ago.

"_What the hell do you think you're doing Guy?"_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_You are meant to be running the base, not having a feud with one of the staff."_

"_Are you taking sides now Geoff, are you?"_

"_Why does everything around here now have to end up in some sort of competition?"_

"_It takes two."_

"_You are going to sort things out with Rowie."_

"_Yes. I tried to have her transferred. I discussed the situation with head office and in the long run, it seemed to be the best solution. But it hasn't worked."_

"_And that's good management, is it? Just get her out of the way? Guy, you are working with people; with thinking, feeling people. Why didn't you just try and talk this out with her?"_

_"Geoff, I have tried everything,"_

_"No you haven't, you've done as you damn well pleased!"_

Geoff sighed under his breath, and regretted not intervening sooner.

Arriving at the locked door, he heard the sounds of footsteps in the corridor.

"Katie!" Geoff called.

"What's going on?" Kate clutched onto her husband's arm. "Is Rowie all right?"

"Not really." Geoff sighed.

"But I don't understand? What's happening? Vic and Nancy are a mess, Clare wouldn't tell me anything, and Penny just said to get here as soon as I could."

"Look, we don't know for sure at this stage what's happened," Geoff continued, as he unlocked the door and entered the small room.

Silently, he collected the medication, syringes, and alcohol preps.

"Geoff," Kate pleaded impatiently, "What the hell's going on?"

"We think she's been raped," he answered.

"Oh my God." Kate brought her hand to her mouth.

Geoff brought his left hand to Kate's back. "I was actually just about to ring you and get you to come in."

"What can I do?" she nodded, drawing a strengthening breath.

"We're playing this by ear, but we need to find out what happened." Geoff answered. "Come on." He led her back through the corridor towards the treatment room.

**XxXxX**

"How are we going?" Geoff arrived back into the room.

"All right," Jackie spoke quietly, glancing down at their interlocked hands.

Jackie noticed Kate standing by the doorway. Their eyes met briefly.

"Rowie, we've got some diazepam to give you, all right?" Jackie watched as Rowie slowly seemed to absorb the sentence, lifting her gaze and turning her head towards Geoff.

Rowie watched as he drew up the syringe. As if eventually comprehending Jackie's words, she gave several affirmative nods.

"Good." Geoff appreciated the significance of the development.

"Geoff, is it all right if I administer?" Jackie asked, reaching for the syringe.

"Of course," Geoff replied.

"Kate?" Jackie called softly, as she arrived at the end of the trolley.

Jackie quickly deduced the best access point. "Can you pull the blanket up, as I pull back her blouse?"

"Sure." Kate moved in next to Jackie.

"Rowie, I'm just going to move your blouse back enough to administer the injection. Is that all right?" Jackie knew that the initial contact with victims' clothing was the most invasive.

Swallowing, and taking in Jackie's question, Rowie nodded again.

"I'll be as quick as I can," Jackie assured.

"Just a little sting," Jackie muttered, wiping her skin with the alcohol wipe and administering the injection. "Good."

Jackie carefully moving the blouse back over Rowie's shoulder.

Kate looked between her husband and Rowie, still trying to make sense of everything that had happened. She studied the vacant, downcast expression on Rowie's face, as she stood closer to the side of the trolley. It was the same one she had seen on Jeannie Mooreland's face two years earlier.

"Jackie, maybe you're wrong about this?" Kate suggested hopefully.

"It's better if we don't talk about it for now," Jackie spoke in a direct tone. "We just need time to allow the initial shock to pass. Do you want me to prep in delivery?"

"Thanks, all the instructions for collection are in the kit. It's better for continuity of care if I don't leave," Jackie answered.

"I'll be as quick as I can." Geoff turned back towards the door.

**XxXxX**

As he stepped out into the corridor, Geoff was surprised to hear Kate's voice behind him.

"Why isn't Jackie asking her what happened?" Kate spoke in a hushed tone.

Slipping his arm around Kate's back, he walked with her several metres along the corridor.

"Because that's the worst thing we could do at this point. As soon as Rowie does say anything, we're able to be called on as witnesses. This means, if she says anything now, which differs from a formal statement in a few days time; the defence can use those discrepancies to weaken the case. Jackie knows what she's doing, Kate. She's done this more times than you and I put together. We have to trust her instincts on this one." Geoff squeezed his wife's shoulder.

"I know. It's just not like Row, that's all," Kate whispered.

"That's the point, isn't it? Look, it's just the beginning, she'll be all right. What about you?" Geoff rested his hands on Kate's shoulders.

"I'm okay for now. Jackie's holding it together well," Kate answered.

"Yeah." Geoff nodded.

Kate followed her husband back towards the supply room. "So she hasn't said who it was?" Kate frowned.

Geoff shook his head, "I've got a pretty good idea though."

"Guy? But why would he do something like this? He and Rowie can't stand each other." She stood in the doorway, watching him locate the half a dozen sexual assault kits stacked in a corner of the room.

"Come on, Guy's never been all that good at handling pressure. I think once he found out I knew what was going on, he felt pushed into a corner." Geoff glanced down at the expiry date on the white box, tossing it to the ground.

"Why take it out on Rowie?" Kate swallowed.

"Maybe because he perceived her as a threat. Anger and power are dangerous combinations." Geoff paused with a drawn-out, exhausted sigh, "Damn it, they're all out of date!"

"You could transfer her?" Kate suggested.

"We might have to; this is exactly why head office wanted a female doctor around this place; I don't even know if she'll let me examine her." Geoff threw his hands up in exasperation.

"What about Jackie? She's worked emergency in Melbourne; could she do it?"

Brushing his hand against his chin, Geoff considered his wife's suggestion. "Legal quagmire," he sighed.

"Have you notified head office yet?" Kate asked, seeing the tension flash across Geoff's face.

"Kate, have you seen me stop moving in the last hour? I haven't had time. There isn't anything that anyone can or will do until tomorrow morning anyway."

"But you're the only doctor we've got," Kate looked up as Geoff cut her off sharply.

"We can't jump the gun; until we have a formal accusation; I can't suspend Guy."

Kate sighed, drawing a breath. "I'm sorry, I'm just; I can't believe it, you know?" she fought back the tears that had collected in her throat.

"Finally!" Geoff held the whit cardboard box in his right hand. "At least we've got a kit. Look, once everything settles down here, I need to get on to Clare. I deliberately kept the specifics from Johnno, just in case. Until we know for certain, I'd sooner we have a relief pilot for a few days. Especially if we have to transfer her."

"Johnno wouldn't have done this, Geoff." Kate was taken aback by her husband's suggestion.

"We've said that before, haven't we?" Geoff looked at Kate for several moments.

"Yeah," she reflected over Jeannie's assault.


	3. Chapter 3 - Invasion

Chapter 3 - Invasion

As they arrived into the delivery room, Jackie observed Rowie's reaction to her new surroundings.

The room was oddly silent.

Jackie folded the railing of the trolley down.

"Rowie, now we need to start by getting you into a gown. I want you to know we'll take this as slowly as you like. Anytime you want to stop, or take a break, just tell me." Jackie tried to gauge a reaction from her patient.

Jackie looked over towards the sterile sheets on the floor beside the screen.

"Are you going to be okay to walk?" Jackie tilted her head.

Looking in turn between each of the three people in the room, Rowie eventually nodded. Jackie helped her slide to the edge of the trolley.

Kate felt her stomach sink the moment she saw the bruises on Rowie's thighs.

"All right, just tell me how you're going." Jackie glanced over to Kate, as they both helped Rowie to her feet.

"Good, just take it slowly, come over here with me, and we'll get you changed," Jackie guided her behind the blue screen.

"You're all right to stand?" she checked. "It's going to get easier from here, I promise."

Jackie watched as Rowie arrived barefoot onto the sterile sheets. She frowned. "Rowie, were you wearing shoes?"

As if having to repeat Jackie's question over to herself before she could answer, Rowie eventually shook her head.

"What about pantyhose?" Jackie continued, needing to ensure that all items of clothing involved in the incident were accounted for.

"No," Rowie answered.

"All right." Jackie reached for the gown that was hanging over the blue screen. "Now, remember, you can tell me at any time if you want to wait; or stop completely. We can take this as slowly as you need." Jackie looked down at the gown in her bare hands.

"Darn. Geoff, I don't have gloves on. Can Kate pass them to me?" Jackie sighed, frustrated at her mistake.

"Sure," came an immediate reply.

"Rowie, are you all right to take off your blouse, or I can help you if you'd prefer?" Jackie tried to minimise the direct eye contact, knowing it would be threatening.

"Here, Jac," Kate carefully handed Jackie the box of examination gloves, waiting until she'd taken two."

"Thanks," Jackie replied quietly, slipping them on, as she noticed Rowie slowly finish unbuttoning her pale blue blouse.

"You're doing really well." Jackie encouraged, and reached down to pick up a paper evidence bag from beside the sterile sheets.

Keeping her eyes downcast, Jackie waited for what felt like an impossibly long time, eventually taking the blouse from Rowie and dropping it into the large paper bag.

Jackie carefully unfolded the gown and took a step closer. "Now, I'm going to place the gown on your shoulders, and tie it up at the back of your neck." She waited for several moments before slowly carrying out the action, trying not to notice the bruises on Rowie's upper arms.

Still standing behind Rowie, Jackie kept her tone neutral and unhurried. "Now, is it easier if I unfasten your bra?" she waited for a response.

Rowie hesitated, feeling overwhelmed by the situation.

She glanced down at the while hospital gown around her neck, and felt reality quickly hit.

"I can do it," Rowie dismissed immediately, and silently carried out the task.

"Good." Jackie added the undergarment to the large paper bag.

"Now, you can slip your arms through the gown, and I'll do it up at the back." Jackie instructed, realising that Rowie was carrying out the tasks slightly quicker each time.

Rowie felt the coolness of the fresh linen of the gown against her skin. She could smell the familiar smell that scrubs have after being laundered.

She felt Jackie secure the top half of the gown.

"It is all right if I unzip your skirt?" Jackie felt familiarly wash over her, thinking back to the dozens of times she'd performed this same procedure.

Rowie found her consciousness suddenly jolted back into realty and she realized what was happening.

She drew a sharp breath, pulling away from Jackie's hand on her upper arm.

Jackie waited, watching the numbed expression on Rowie's face crumple.

Kate had been laying the contents of the kit on a nearby trolley, went she heard Rowie start crying. She paused and looked over to Geoff.

"Take your time," Jackie reassured, awkwardly standing there, not knowing whether to initiate physical contact or not.

Jackie swallowed, struggling to remained detached as Rowie slowly managed to unzip her skirt, still sobbing involuntarily.

Bringing her hands slowly to her waist, Rowie pushed the garments from her hips, carefully taking a step backwards to step out of them.

"Now I'll just tie up the rest of the gown," Jackie worked as quickly as she could.

Kate and Geoff exchanged silent glances as they listened to the events take place across the room.

"_She's good,"_ Kate mouthed silently, as Geoff moved over to the nearby sink to scrub.

Having just finished doing up the hospital gown, Jackie felt Rowie startle at the unexpected sound of water from across the room.

"Can that wait, please," Jackie spoke as forcefully as she could, without raising her voice.

Geoff sighed, quickly turning off the tap and cursing at himself under his breath.

"Okay," Jackie rolled the sterile paper around the final two items of clothing, and placed the wrapped bundle into a fresh paper bag. "You did really well," Jackie encouraged, folding the paper bags closed, and moving them to the side of the screen.

"We're finished here," Jackie spoke calmly, "Kate, can you bring a fresh blanket over, please?"

"Ah, sure," Kate nodded, quickly fetching one from the instrument tray and walking towards the side of the screen.

"Now, Geoff's just going to scrub, all right? So you'll hear the water running for a bit." Jackie glanced over, making sure Rowie had heard her.

Rowie nodded, having managed to stop crying.

"You're fine, Geoff, thanks," Jackie muttered, guiding Rowie back to the delivery bed, as Kate held the blanket ready to cover her.

"Slowly," Jackie reminded, as Rowie carefully negotiated her way up onto the bed.

Jackie fixed the pillow behind Rowie's head, before noticing the slide comb in her long, auburn hair. "Rowie, I'm just taking the comb out of your hair, all right?" she gently slipped the brown comb out, walking over to place it in a smaller bag.

"What about jewellery?" Kate asked quietly, as she covered Rowie with the warm, white blanket.

Jackie returned briskly to the side of the bed, checking Rowie's hands. "Sorry, can I have fresh gloves, Kate."

"Sure," Kate nodded, again handing her colleague the cardboard box.

"Thanks," Jackie muttered, gently reaching over to unfasten Rowie's black watch. "There should be some smaller plastic bags?" Jackie glanced to the metal instrument tray at the end of the examination table.

"Yup," Kate slipped on a pair of gloves and opened a plastic bag.

"I think that's it." Jackie double-checked for a necklace or earrings.

"Earrings." Jackie delicately removed Rowie's gold hoop earrings, and slipped them into a small bag.

Kate watched as Jackie arrived to the end of the bed, pulling off the examination gloves once again and looking over the paperwork. "Geoff?" she called, needing a witness. "I'm initialling for the collection of all clothes, hair accessories, earrings, and a wristwatch."

"Confirmed." Geoff nodded, watching as Jackie professionally signed the paperwork.

"There's no forensic photographer, what's the normal procedure out here?" Jackie frowned, turning to Geoff.

"We've got a Polaroid," he answered. "Katie?"

As Kate left to locate the camera, Jackie continued down the checklist. "Oral swabs and nail scrapings." She slipped on a fresh pair of gloves and reached for the first packet of sterile cotton swabs.

"Geoff, I'm certified to collect all evidence up until the pelvic, is that all right with you?" Jackie asked as subtly as she could.

"That's fine," he replied, slipping on a pair of examination gloves to help her with the procedure.

After ensuring everything was ready for the next two procedures, Jackie made her way slowly to the head of the bed.

"Hanging in there?" she asked softly, waiting until Rowie had lifted her glance.

Nodding quickly, Rowie looked down at the swabs in Jackie's right hand.

"I need to take oral swabs, it's just two cotton tipped swabs around the inside of your mouth, and it's finished. All right?" Jackie had the feeling that she was repeating information her friend was already too aware of, but knew she had to follow procedure.

"Good." Jackie took the two swabs from the packet. "Just open your mouth," she gave Rowie a moment to slowly carry out the request. Jackie swiftly, yet thoroughly completed the oral swabs, turning back to place them in the sealed bag provided.

"Now, nail scrapings," she nodded as Geoff handed her the packet. "Rowie, I'm sorry, this can be a bit uncomfortable, but it is important that we get all the evidence possible." Jackie took out the wooden probes and supplied plastic sheeting.

"Okay, now I just need you to place your right hand on here, and I'll scrape under each nail in turn." Jackie waited until she was sure there was no objection, before carrying out the procedure. "Now we'll move around to your left hand," Jackie carefully placed the probe in the middle of the sheet and rolled it together. Dropping them into another bag that Geoff had ready, Jackie took the second probe and sheet and repeated the exercise on Rowie's left hand.

"All finished," Jackie glanced up at her, peeling off her gloves and placing them into a larger bag along with the bags of nail scrapings.

With a sigh, Jackie looked down at the post sexual violence examination form on the clipboard in her hands.

_Now for the hard part._

"Rowie, I need you to tell me as much about the nature of the assault as possible," Jackie spoke as objectively as she could. "Was their vaginal penetration?"

Clasping the edge of the white blanket, Rowie felt her jaw tremble. Blinking several times, diverting her gaze from both Geoff and Jackie, Rowie simply nodded.

"Okay," Jackie nodded, making the relevant notes on the form. "What about anal or oral penetration?"

Rowie gasped, as she clasped her hands over her mouth and nose. "I don't know." She felt the tears trickle down her cheeks.

Jackie moved back to the edge of the bed.

"Ssh, it's all right," Jackie touched Rowie's left shoulder. "Do you know if he wore a condom?" Jackie continued.

Rowie fixed her gaze at random spot on the wall, vivid sights and sensations passing through her memory. She merely shrugged.

"Are there any other injuries that you are aware of?" Jackie tried to remain connected and keep her in the present moment.

"I don't know." Rowie tasted the saltiness of her own tears as they tricked down into her mouth.

"It's all over. We're going to take this slowly, all right?" Jackie felt herself hurt for her friend's pain.

Jackie looked to Geoff, knowing she had reached the end of her involvement. "Photographic exam can come before or after pelvic."

"It could take Kate a while to find the Polaroid, and she's still got the diazepam on board," Geoff shrugged, looking back to Jackie.

"We can get the paperwork out of the way, I suppose." Jackie, glanced down to the instrument tray. "We need medical history and consent form."

"Your call," Geoff answered.

"Rowie?" Jackie rubbed her lower arm several times, knowing she needed her complete attention. "We're going to have a bit of a break, and get some of the paperwork finalised. Try and relax as much as you can. I'm not going to ask you about what happened in detail, but we just need to take a brief medical history and find out a few details about what happened tonight. You know all this, I know, but it's probably not sinking in just yet." Jackie paused.

"I'm sorry if any of this sounds patronising, just tell me if you want me to talk more clinically. Firstly, I need you to sign that you give permission for your clothing and the other evidence we're collecting to be released to the police for the investigation." Jackie handed her clipboard and pen.

Geoff watched carefully as Rowie glanced over the form.

"Can I just fill this in?" Rowie asked hesitantly.

Nodding, Jackie looked to Geoff.

"Sure, if that's what you'd prefer," Geoff answered.

He noticed the detachment with which Rowie skimmed through the form, adding personal details and answering the relevant questions concerning medical history and details of the assault.

Again, he and Jackie glanced over at each other.

"Well done." Jackie nodded, as Rowie signed the bottom of the form.

Taking back the clipboard, and quickly reading through the responses, Jackie tried to ignore the specific details, and focus on the questions she had to ask concerning the assault.

"Is it all right if I do a quick set of obs?" Geoff asked quietly.

Rowie nodded. "What time is it?"

"Twenty past one," Jackie answered, checking the clock on her lapel. "Rowie, do you know approximately what time the assault took place?"

Rowie watched as Geoff crossed the room as she thought back over the evening.

_She'd walked back from the hospital and through the pub, where she'd noticed Guy finishing a glass of red wine._

_"Drowning your sorrows?" she teased, as she passed him._

_"You're just loving this, aren't you?" Guy snapped, finishing his second glass of red wine in under ten minutes._

_Placing her medical bag on the nearby stool, Rowie leaned up against the bar._

"_Mmm-hmm," she nodded with a grin, knowing she was being cruel but not particularly caring. "Finally saw you for the arrogant, selfish bastard I always knew you were, did she?" Rowie smirked._

_"Oh, shut up!" Guy reached for the wine bottle and quickly poured another glass._

"_Let me guess; Jackie wants nothing to do with you, and Penny found out you were just using her when it suited you?" Rowie's gaze flickered between Vic and Guy, as the publican moved away from the heated argument._

"_Don't push it, Rowie. I mean it. I've had just about enough of you on my back the past few days," Guy seethed, turning his attention back to the wine glass._

"_Well, tough." She raised an eyebrow. "Makes a change to see you finally getting what you deserve. Whatever will you do now?" she chuckled, reaching for her medical bag and continuing on towards the stairs._

"Seven maybe? It was getting dark," Rowie eventually answered.

"Okay." Jackie nodded as Geoff moved in to conduct a set of obs.

"Did you want me to do that, Geoff?" Jackie asked carefully.

"Sure," Geoff replied, handing her the blood pressure cuff.

Moving out of the way, whilst Jackie took Rowie's pulse and blood pressure, Geoff glanced through the notes on the clipboard.

"All right," Geoff continued. "Well, as Jackie said, we'll take this nice and slow; we can stop at any time."

"We just need to wait for Kate." Jackie glanced back towards the door, and reached to take the clipboard from Geoff to record obs.

"I'll see how she's doing," Geoff answered.

"Yeah, probably best we keep going," Jackie agreed and watched Geoff leave the room.

**XxXxX**

Jackie looked from the clock above the door, back down to her patient.

"Are you warm enough?" Jackie asked, stroking Rowie's lower arm.

Glancing at Jackie's hand against her arm, Rowie nodded quickly, feeling the mixture of guilt and humiliation surface.

_She won't believe me._

Rowie felt the words repeat over and over in her mind, as she deliberately pulled away from Jackie's touch.

Jackie forced herself not to react; she knew it was normal for some women to resent any physical contact early on. But she was also acutely aware that she wasn't removed from the situation. She knew the accusation that had been repeating in her mind, becoming louder ever since she'd first entered the darkened hotel room.

_He did this._

Both looked up as Geoff and Kate re-entered the room.

Looking between Rowie and Jackie, Kate sensed that something had changed.

"Jackie, can I help?" Kate arrived to the opposite side of the bed.

"I'll be right back," Jackie swallowed, having no choice but to leave.

Geoff and Kate exchanged surprised glances at Jackie's departure.

"I'll go," Geoff handed Kate the alcohol wipe and syringe. "Another five megs diazepam."

"Right," Kate nodded, waiting until Geoff had left the room before turning her attention back to Rowie.

Looking up towards the door as it closed, Rowie felt her eyes dart backwards and forwards, "It's all my fault," she sighed.

"Oh sweetheart, I promise you it's not." Kate sighed, opening the alcohol wipe.

"Yes, it is," she repeated, watching as Kate lifted the sleeve of her hospital gown to administer the injection.

Kate paused, seeing the fresh bruises on Rowie's upper arm.

**XxXxX**

"What was all that about?" Geoff followed Jackie around the corner until they were out of earshot.

Turning around to face him, Jackie dissolved into tears, covering her face with her hands. "It was Guy!"

"What? Did she tell you that?" Geoff demanded.

Jackie shook her head, feeling completely responsible. "But I just know. Why else won't she say who did this? Why the hell haven't we seen him since this evening?"

"You can't jump to that conclusion, Jackie. Right now, it makes absolutely no difference who the guilty party is. We have a job to do," Geoff spoke sternly.

"I know." Jackie wiped furiously at the tears that had trailed down her cheeks.

"Now, you know this is going to be difficult, it's going to be invasive and probably very uncomfortable for Rowie. But we're not helping her by falling apart." Geoff grasped her upper arm.

"Yeah, I know. I just feel so guilty. I really tore Guy apart today, Geoff." Jackie thought back over their earlier conversation in the scrub room.

"You can't blame yourself. Those two have been fighting for months. Until she says differently, we don't know who did this. The _best_ thing we can do for Rowie is to help her get justice against whomever it was," Geoff rationalised.

"I'm sorry, Geoff. I was being selfish." Jackie drew a deep, calming breath.

"Look, it's all right. You've handled this brilliantly, Jackie. Better than I could have done. This is difficult for everyone. I have to go back in there and perform a rape exam on a colleague. We just have to remember that as painful and difficult as this is for us, it is worse for Rowie. Now, once we get her settled and comfortable, we will have a thorough debrief. Would you rather assist me, or support Rowie?" Geoff moved swiftly into management of the situation.

"I'll stay with Row. I'll be all right; it just suddenly hit me, that's all. I suppose I hadn't really thought about who it was until then," Jackie answered. She drew another breath and indicated that she was ready to go back in.

"We're all going to get through this. Once we've finished the pelvic, we need to do a final physical exam, and then we can get Rowie into intensive care, and hopefully asleep. Photos will have to wait until tomorrow, there's no film." Geoff followed behind Jackie back through to the delivery room.


	4. Chapter 4 - Indentity

Chapter 4 - Identity

"Okay Rowie, I just need you to move down a little more." Geoff adjusted the height of the stool, as Kate tied up the back of his gown.

Jackie bent down, staying at eye-level, as she clasped Rowie's right hand. "Nearly there," she encouraged as Rowie wriggled further down in the bed.

"Good," Geoff looked up to Jackie. "Do you need a minute?"

"Let's just adjust the pillow a little." Jackie repositioned the pillow behind Rowie's head.

"All right," Geoff slipped on the gloves. "Katie, can you bring the tray closer?"

"Sure," Kate carried out the request.

With a sigh, Kate remembered the last time she had been in this room.

A year ago.

Watching as Geoff glanced at the instrument tray, Kate realised the same four people were in the room; although at opposite ends of the bed.

"First, I'm just going to do a visual exam, and then take external swabs." Geoff gestured for Kate to fold back the white blanket.

"Just try and take deep breaths." Jackie squeezed Rowie's hand.

"Okay, swabs Katie," Geoff quickly determined he wouldn't be able to see anything until he cleaned the blood away. "How many are there?"

"Ah, four packs of two," Kate answered, slipping on examination gloves and opening the first packet.

"Well, I'll do as much as I can," Geoff took out the first two swabs as Kate opened an ampoule of saline. "Thanks." Geoff nodded.

Jackie watched Geoff work, "Okay, now you're just going to feel the cotton swabs, they'll be cool, but that's the saline." Jackie tried to obtain eye contact, "Rowie, look at me," she spoke quietly, yet sternly. It was always the patient's first instinct to close their eyes, but it made the examination more traumatic because it removed the reminder of their current physical location.

"We ready?" Geoff waited, looking to Jackie.

"Just a minute," she answered, "Come on," she coaxed, "it's all right. Good." Jackie nodded as Rowie eventually opened her eyes. "Now they're just going to feel cold, but it shouldn't hurt," Jackie reassured.

"Okay." Geoff commenced the external examination.

Jackie stroked the back of Rowie's hand, watching as her eyes glazed over in response to the physical contact.

"All right?" Jackie asked.

"Doing well," Geoff encouraged, placing the swab into the plastic evidence bag. "Just a few more to go."

He again applied some saline to the end of the cotton swab and continued.

"Breathe deeply," Jackie reminded, noticing that Rowie was holding her breath with each moment of contact. "It's not hurting, is it?" Jackie frowned.

Geoff paused, looking up as he heard Jackie's question. "It's probably stinging a bit," he advised.

Jackie nodded, before she looked up and saw Kate's dismal expression.

Kate sealed the first set of swabs, and held out the next plastic bag for Geoff. As she alternated her glance between the three people in the room, she forced herself to look anywhere apart from at what her husband was doing.

"There we go," Geoff slipped the final cotton swab into the bag, looking up to Jackie as Kate sealed the second bag. "How we doing?"

Jackie glanced back at Geoff with an unconvinced shrug.

Rowie rested her arms across her stomach, and glanced up nervously at the ceiling.

"Saline, Kate?" Geoff reached for the disposable speculum.

"Now Rowie, this will probably be uncomfortable, but I'll be as quick as I can. Just tell me to stop at any time." Geoff looked up for acknowledgement.

"Am I bleeding?" Rowie asked tentatively, her gaze still focussed on the ceiling.

"Not anymore," Geoff answered, looking between his patient and Jackie a final time as Kate drizzled the saline ampoule over the speculum blades.

"All right, now I need you to take a breath in," Geoff looked up to see that Rowie had comprehended his instructions, "And out slowly," Geoff commenced inserting the tip of the speculum.

Rowie kept her gaze focussed on the corner of the fluorescent light above her head, as she concentrated on exhaling as slowly as she could.

Geoff saw the trickle of fresh blood along the speculum blade as he continued insertion, which was instantly met with a sharp cry and an involuntary recoiling from his patient.

Geoff stopped momentarily, leaving the speculum in place, waiting to see if the discomfort would subside enough for the examination to continue.

Jackie looked from Geoff to Rowie, and saw the tears that had pooled in her eyes.

"Do you want to stop?" Jackie asked worriedly.

Rowie shook her head determinedly, her eyes still focussed on the light above her.

"I'll go slower." Geoff looked back to Kate briefly, not at all surprised by Rowie's determination.

Waiting several moments, he again attempted further insertion of the instrument, able to feel resistance, which was immediately accompanied by low whines of pain from his patient.

"_Geoff_." Jackie shook her head, seeing the tears trickle down Rowie's face.

Geoff removed the speculum and placed it back on the nearby tray.

"Ok, we're stopping," he pulled the white blanket down over Rowie's legs. "Just rest for a while." He stood up, nodding for Kate to join him outside.

Kate follow Geoff into the corridor, closing the door behind her.

"What's wrong?" she frowned, seeing the look of distress in her husband's eyes.

"I can't even get the speculum in, let alone opened," he sighed.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"It's ridiculous; I can't use any form of lubrication, because of degradation of forensic evidence." He glanced back in through the window.

"Well, it's there some other pain relief you can offer? A local?" Kate suggested.

"No, I can't introduce any substances to the site." Geoff paused, "Some midazolam might be enough to get her through, but if that doesn't work, I'll have to abandon the exam."

"But don't you need to check for internal damage, regardless of the forensic evidence?" Kate continued.

"Well, there already is internal damage. I don't want to exacerbate that. However, if there's internal damage that needs surgical intervention, I need to know about it." Geoff shook his head.

"And there's only one of you, so that rules out a general." Kate shrugged.

"The midazolam should do the trick. If that doesn't work, we'll need to transfer her for a general." Geoff sighed, trying to minimise his outward expression of exasperation. "I'll go back in and talk to Rowie and Jackie, can you get me two megs IV midazolam and saline."

"Right. Keys?" Kate raised an eyebrow.

Geoff nodded, reaching into his pocket and handing her the keys to the drug room.

"Rowie?" Geoff approached the side of the examination table, bending down so that he was at her eye level. "I'm going to give you some midazolam, all right?"

Tear stains down her cheeks and her jaw still clenched from pain, Rowie simply nodded in response to Geoff's words.

"I know it's difficult right now, but we'll get through this as soon as we can." Geoff sighed, seeing the vacant expression on her face.

"Geoff, you don't have to do this," Jackie challenged, crossing the room to speak with him.

"Forensics aside, I need to ascertain the degree of internal damage," Geoff kept his voice low.

"Yeah, but you're just as likely to _cause_ damage," Jackie retorted.

"Jackie, I know what I'm doing," he reminded her as calmly as possible.

After a moment, the nurse nodded in understanding. "Sorry, Geoff."

Geoff watched as Jackie moved immediately back to Rowie's side.

"It's nearly over." Jackie stroked her arm as they waited for Kate to get back.

**XxXxX**

"Another cuppa?" Johnno offered, watching as Clare paced around the office for the hundredth time.

"No." She looked down and realised she was chewing her thumbnail. "What's taking so long?"

"Wanna go over there?" Johnno suggested, seeing the anxiety on Clare's face.

Clare paused before she shook her head, "No, Geoff said he'd call."

Johnno glanced down at his watch. "Maybe he had to operate or something?"

Clare frowned, "You need two doctors to operate, I thought?"

"Oh yeah," Johnno shrugged, "Where the hell's Guy, that's what I'd like to know. Talk about picking his moments."

"Oh my God." Clare brought her hand quickly to her mouth, dropping her eyes closed in realisation.

"What's the matter?" Johnno frowned, rushing to her side.

"He did this." Clare drew a deep, reflective breath. Looking around the office, she felt the memories wash over her. The time Guy put his hand on Rowie's shoulder, all the fights they'd had in his office. Clare reflected on the numerous of moments she'd witnessed as a fly on the wall. "I should've said something to Geoff," she spoke quietly.

"Huh?" Johnno sipped his coffee, not having followed Clare musings.

"Rowie and Guy; there's so much I saw and heard that I should have told Geoff about. Guy has been harassing her for months," Clare admitted.

"It's not your fault, Clare. Rowie can handle herself," Johnno shrugged.

"Well, obviously not," Clare snapped angrily. "Why didn't someone do something sooner?"

"Hang on, there's something I'm not getting here. What actually happened?" Johnno frowned, placing his mug of coffee down on the desk.

Clare turned away from him, as she realised Johnno didn't know the truth.

"Clare, what's going on? You, Penny, Vic, Nancy. Why is everyone scuttlin' around like someone's died?" Johnno slid off the edge of the desk and walked slowly across the room.

Shaking her head, Clare tried to figure out what to say.

"No," she hesitated. "Geoff will tell you." Clare crossed the room and sat down at the desk. She looked down for some work to occupy the time.

"Tell me what!" Johnno followed after her.

"I can't, Johnno. It's not my place." Clare refused to look at him. It finally hit her; Geoff delayed telling Johnno so that he'd be able to transfer her if necessary. "It's probably better that you don't know."

"None a this is making any sense. If it's that serious, why isn't Geoff transferring her? And if it's not that serious, why can't you tell me?"

"Look, Geoff has his reasons, Johnno. You just have to trust that," Clare spoke sharply.

"Clare, either you tell me what's going on, or I'm going over there," Johnno raised his voice.

"All right! I'll ring," Clare reached for the phone in utter exasperation.

Johnno leaned against the glass screen, watching Clare intently.

"Kate, it's Clare, how's everything going?" Clare asked immediately.

"Look, ah, we're still in the middle of forensics here, it's taking longer than we thought. Are you and Johnno still at the base?" Kate answered, glancing down at the IV set in her right hand.

"Yes, we thought we'd hear by now. Does it look as if Geoff'll have to transfer her?" Clare continued.

"We don't know yet, Clare. We're just trying to sedate her at the moment. We won't know until after that," Kate replied impatiently.

"So it's still a possibility? It's just ah, Johnno's becoming concerned," Clare phrased as subtly as she could.

"I think Geoff wants a relief pilot for a few days. Can you see if you can get in contact with anyone? I'm sorry Clare, we've got enough going on here. I'll have to get Geoff to ring you back when we know either way."

"That doesn't sound very good?" Clare frowned, feeling Johnno's hands on her shoulders.

"Clare, I, I need to get back to them, I'm sorry. I'll get Geoff to ring you when he's free." Kate hung up the phone.

Clare shook her head, as she placed the phone back down.

"We're still on standby. Geoff wants a relief pilot." She reached across the desk for the small black phone book. "This is ridiculous; I'm not going to get anyone at three o'clock in the morning!"

"I've had enough of this!" Johnno turned, heading towards the front doors.

"Johnno, you're not going to help anyone by making a nuisance of yourself," Clare pleaded, following as quickly as she could after him.

"At least I'll get some answers! If I'm being grounded, I deserve to know why." The young pilot hovered in the hall way.

"Geoff probably feels it would be too difficult for you to work under the circumstances," she answered.

"Not good enough, Clare." Johnno shook his head.

"Well, given your relationship with Rowie, he probably thinks it would be awkward for her too," Clare edged closer to the truth, hoping Johnno would figure it out for himself.

"We don't have a relationship. That was over months ago. Jesus, Clare, you're making it sound like she's been raped or something." Johnno stopped abruptly, as he pieced the events of the evening together.

Clare watched as Johnno arrived at the conclusion. "I'm sorry, Johnno." Clare shrugged inadequately.

Johnno exhaled as he looked from Clare down to the ground.

"You can't blame Geoff for wanting to keep it from you." Clare wrapped her arm around his back.

"Well, who?" Johnno paced back into the main office. "Guy? Guy did this?"

"No-one's talking about it, Johnno. That's just what I think." Clare tried to gauge his reaction.

"I'll kill him!" Johnno brought his hands tightly to his waist.

"Well no-one's seen him since this evening. Jackie didn't find Rowie until after ten, so we don't even know when it happened." Clare sighed, leaning back against Johnno's desk.

"Did this happen at the pub or something?" Johnno frowned, thinking back over the evening.

"Jackie came and got me, just after she'd found Rowie, so I'm assuming it happened in her room," Clare continued, watching intently as Johnno absorbed the information.

"Bloody hell, I was there all evening. I had dinner, Steve and I had some beers and a few games of pool. Went up to bed around ten." Johnno shook his head.

Clare brought her hand to her mouth, "I was in my room all evening after work; I heard a door slam around seven. Well, you hear all sorts sometimes; Penny and Steve, Jackie and Guy; I've learnt to block it out. I just wish I'd at least gone to the door and listened. To think it happened less than ten metres away, and I didn't do anything!"

"It's not your fault, Clare." Johnno touched her shoulder.

"No, I know. I just wish I'd reacted." Clare wiped at her eyes. "Poor Rowie."

"Is she all right, I mean, physically?" Johnno asked, crossing his arms and leaning up against the glass divider.

"Kate sounded pretty distressed just then." Clare gestured towards the phone.

"Row will have completely shut down." Johnno shook his head. "The last thing she will do is talk about it."

"I don't think they've even got to that point yet," Clare shrugged. "From what Kate said, they're trying to sedate her, something to do with forensics."

"What a nightmare." Johnno rubbed his forehead tiredly.

"Now do you see why Geoff was reluctant to tell you?" Clare sighed.

"Yeah, a relief pilot would probably be a good idea. Row's not going to want me anywhere near her," Johnno answered.

"I'll try head office again first thing. You going to be all right if they do want her transferred tonight?" Clare asked worriedly.

"Oh, I'll be fine. I'll just keep my distance." Johnno felt himself torn between pain and indescribable anger. "How the hell did this happen?"

"I should've said something weeks ago. It was getting nasty," Clare acknowledged.

"Rowie and Guy? They've been arguing every other day," Johnno dismissed.

"No it was more than that. He was abusing his authority. I mean, the things I witnessed, God knows how much I missed," Clare clarified.

"What kinda things, Clare?" Johnno looked directly at her.

"Bullying mainly. It had gone beyond work issues weeks ago. I overheard lots of arguments, Guy accused her of being too emotionally involved in medicine; something like that. She's been pretty unhappy ever since he took over. Not eating, working all hours."

"Yeah," Johnno nodded, "Occasionally I'll get a smile or a hello, but she's not the same person she was when Geoff was in charge."

"Well, she's certainly not going to be the same person now." Clare lowered her gaze.

**XxXxX**

"Thank God for midazolam," Geoff sighed as he removed the speculum and placed all the used equipment into evidence bags. "How's she doing?" he looked up to Jackie.

"Pulse and respiration are fine, she's pretty groggy," Jackie answered.

"Well, she'll be sore for a while, but there's nothing that requires surgical intervention, so we won't need to transfer her. And the forensics look adequate, plenty of fluids. Now, we just need to document the other injuries." Geoff peeled off the surgical gloves and replaced them with examination gloves, "Thanks Kate. Can you and Jackie swap places for a few minutes?" Geoff tilted his head for Jackie to come down to the end of the bed.

Gesturing to the clipboard on the nearby overweigh, Geoff looked into the cardboard box for a small ruler.

"Here," Jackie handed him the L-shaped item.

Keeping his voice low, Geoff drew Jackie's attention to the similarly sized bruises on Rowie's lower thighs, each just above the knee. "About ten centimetres round," Geoff glanced back as she documented the findings. "I'll write up the pelvic exam later."

"There's bruising to her upper arms as well," Jackie spoke in a lowered tone.

"She's still pretty groggy?" Geoff asked.

"Yeah, semi-conscious." Jackie nodded.

"Let's have a look." He made his way up to the side of the delivery bed, as Jackie showed him each bruise.

"It's all right, sweetheart." Kate reached for Rowie's hand as she stirred.

"And torso?" Geoff moved back to the overweigh and updated the paperwork.

Jackie sighed as she carefully pulled up the white blanket and moved the hospital gown out of the way. "Abdomen's fine, no swelling or bruising to the ribs, there's some fingerprint bruising to the left breast," Jackie paused, rearranging the gown and the blanket as discreetly as possible.

"Geoff," Jackie paused. "I think this is a bite mark." She looked back, as Geoff came up to the right side of the bed.

Kate held tighter on to Rowie's right hand as she listened to the conversation take place.

"Yup. I'll start her on IV antibiotics." He walked back to the end of the bed, initialled over Jackie's findings and added additional notes.

"Toxicology, Geoff?" Jackie suggested, fatigue and emotional upheaval quickly shortening her patience. She didn't even wait for a reply before crossing the room to the door.

"Might as well while she's still got the midazolam on board." Geoff nodded, looking back to Kate as Jackie left the room. "Are you all right here?"

Quickly Kate nodded, although he could see the impact the last hour had had on her.

Geoff left the room and walked down the corridor until he spotted the nurse.

"How you going?" he asked, suspecting Jackie was just barely managing to hold it all together.

Jackie turned, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm just so angry!"

Geoff stopped, touching her shoulder comfortingly. "I know. We're nearly there. And then we can sit down with a cup of tea and be as angry as we like."

Jackie followed him through to the drug room, watching as Geoff began filling a metal kidney dish with items.

"You read the form?" Jackie asked deliberately.

"Hmm," he reflected. "That explains most of it," Geoff trailed off, drawing a deep breath.

"How bad?" Jackie frowned.

"A painful couple of weeks, but she'll be fine." Geoff struggled to remain detached.

"Fluids?" Jackie located a tourniquet and placed it into the dish.

"Nothing externally that I could differentiate from the coagulated blood. We'll have to wait for forensics." Geoff glanced up at the white clock on the wall.

"I didn't get a chance to ask her about emergency contraception." Jackie let out a sigh of frustration.

"It can wait," Geoff dismissed, trying to locate the IV antibiotics.

"Well, no. The sooner the better," Jackie corrected.

"Jackie, the window is 12-24 hours. We can wait until tomorrow morning." Geoff located the antibiotics and double-checked that he had everything he needed to take bloods.


	5. Chapter 5 - Containment

Chapter 5 - Containment

**XxXxX**

_0310, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"She's asleep," Jackie rested her hands on the corner of the desk at the nurse's station.

"Good." Geoff glanced over the notes he had just written.

"Kate gone?" Jackie looked around.

"Yeah, she's driving back to our place. You must be exhausted too?" Geoff touched Jackie's shoulder lightly.

"I'll stay for a bit, just in case. I couldn't sleep now anyway." Jackie watched as Geoff tucked the file back into the cabinet, before pulling it out again and rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"What?" Jackie shrugged.

"Don't like the idea of leaving this around," Geoff shook his head, glancing down at the patient file. "I'll keep it with me, work out something later."

"What do you want to do about the forensics?" Jackie shrugged.

Geoff sighed, "I've locked everything in the drug room for now. I'll get the slides made up as soon as I've had a cuppa and had some debrief time. Hand them over to the police tomorrow."

"How are we going to keep this quiet?" Jackie worried.

"Don't get into specifics. It'll die down." Geoff nodded.

"What about the other staff? I'll be here as much as I can, but I can't stay here 24 hours a day." Jackie gestured towards intensive care.

"Take it as it comes," he replied.

"What if the night staff question her being in intensive care?" Jackie frowned.

"I can fob that off with professional courtesy. It wouldn't be appropriate to have a staff member in the general ward," Geoff responded.

"You were," Jackie challenged immediately.

Geoff shrugged in utter exasperation, "I give up, Jackie! That's the best we can do. Look, at this stage we should only be looking at a night or two. She should be fine to be discharged on Friday. We'll just have to bluff our way through until then."

"We'll make it work," Jackie nodded in agreement.

Geoff tapped the folder in his right hand. "Well, I'm going to make a well-earned cup of tea. Join me?" Geoff gestured towards the staff room.

"Oh, yes please," Jackie followed after him with an exhausted sigh. "It's always harder when it's someone you know, isn't it?"

"Least it's over with now." Geoff and Jackie arrived into the staff room.

"I wish it'd been me." Jackie took a seat as Geoff boiled the kettle. "That was horrible, Geoff."

Geoff paused and took a seat beside Jackie.

"We did the best we could. I don't think she'll remember much of tonight," Geoff muttered.

Silently, Jackie nodded. "I hope not. I can't believe the way today has turned out. I was gloating at Guy when I dumped him this afternoon. And then I was going on about how free I felt, how in control. Jesus, I knew he was going to take it out on someone." Jackie seethed with frustration.

"Jackie, what's done is done." Geoff paused thoughtfully. "Did Rowie know you'd broken up with him?"

Jackie answered quickly, "Yeah, we were joking about it when she left," she trailed off. "Oh God, I can't believe that's the last time I saw her." Jackie's face dropped in realisation.

"You're probably not the only one who did some gloating," Geoff surmised.

"So what?" Jackie frowned, defensiveness rising immediately. "Geoff, there's a bit of well-deserved teasing and then there's a criminal act."

"Hmm, the events are starting to add up, aren't they?" he considered.

"Geoff, I know it was Guy." She looked at him seriously. "This is just too much of a coincidence. And if it wasn't him, then why has he disappeared? I ceremoniously dump him, and then _this_? And you know what his ego is like. He didn't take the rejection well."

"I can imagine. Look, we can think what we like, but until we have a formal allegation, it is meaningless," Geoff rationalised, standing up as the kettle boiled.

"Well, what do you think?" Jackie followed him earnestly over to the sink, and distracted herself from her mounting anger by neatening a stack of teabag boxes.

"Strictly between us, I agree with you. How the hell did it escalate to rape though?" Geoff shook his head. "Maybe I should have intervened sooner; I knew they weren't getting along." Geoff threw his hands up into the air in defeat, "I told him to sort things out with her, and _this_ is the result?" Geoff distracted himself by pouring the cups of tea.

"It was a power struggle that started building since that case with Matt Sheridan. Rowie out diagnosed Guy; he was threatened. He's been telling himself he didn't care, because work isn't that big a part of his life; but to someone like Guy, ego is everything." Jackie took the cup, and they both sat back down at the table.

"I think the animosity between those two started when I made him head of the base after taking the job in Melbourne. Why are they so threatened by each other? I always looked at us here as a team. Nobody's right one hundred per cent of the time. I miss things, other people catch them for me; we're all supposed to be on the same side." Geoff sipped the freshly brewed tea.

"That's not Guy though, is it? He wants to believe he's invincible. He's threatened by Rowie because she's his professional equal, but she's a woman. I've tried getting to the bottom of it, but from what I know of Guy, he can't handle women that he can't manipulate. His charm never fooled her; Rowie always saw straight through him. That's what I meant when I said I wish it'd been me. This is going to be really difficult for her to come back from."

"It's difficult for anyone," Geoff stopped as Jackie interjected sharply.

"No, it's more than that, Geoff." Jackie paused to take a mouthful of tea. "Rowie prides herself on her independence; on being in control. I always found myself envious of her strength. I let myself get used by people; taken advantage of I suppose. Always have. But that's not Rowie. She knows herself too well. She keeps people at arm's length until she's sure she can trust them."

"There's a price to pay for that Jackie; I was the same before I met Kate. I didn't let people get too close," Geoff reflected.

"I'm not saying it's ideal; Rowie's also incredibly sensitive. Especially about work. He'd bait her, she'd give it right back to him. It was just a really bad mix. Wonder why it boiled over now?" Jackie sighed.

"I don't know. This is unique environment; personal, professional boundaries get blurred; not usually a problem,' Geoff commented.

"It's one hell of a problem now," Jackie sighed.

"Yeah," Geoff trailed off, recalling his earlier conversation with Rowie that afternoon. "That's if she even wants to stay."

Jackie chewed her lower lip, "You don't think she'll leave, do you?"

"I didn't tell you this; Rowie actually resigned earlier this afternoon." Geoff watched Jackie absorb the information.

"I knew things with Guy were bad, I didn't know they were that bad." Jackie shook her head.

"She said she wasn't leaving because of Guy." Geoff took another sip of his tea.

"Just seems like such a shame. She's won; there's no reason for her to leave now."

"Somehow, I don't think Rowie'll see it as winning." Geoff tilted his head.

"Yeah, you're right. But all her family are here, Geoff. Surely leaving all her friends and support networks is the worst thing she could do after tonight?" Jackie glanced up at the clock on the wall of the tea room.

"Hmm. I think we'd both better try and get some rest." Geoff waited until Jackie gestured that she had finished her tea, before taking both their cups over to the sink.

Jackie sighed and stood from the table.

"Damn. I meant to ring Clare hours ago." Geoff stood, and crossed the room to the phone.

**XxXxX**

"Clare, it's after three, surely we should have heard," Johnno stopped abruptly as they both heard the phone ring.

"Royal Flying, yes Geoff," Clare breathed a sigh of relief. "We're off standby," she looked around to Johnno. "So is Rowie all right?" Clare frowned, turning back to her desk. "That's understandable, yes, well, we both are." Clare frowned, "Isn't everyone thinking the same thing?" she paused, barely believing what Geoff was saying to her. "I just wish I'd come to you sooner," she sighed. "No, no-one's seen him since earlier this evening." Clare rubbed her forehead with a tired sigh. "Oh, of course, yes I'll ring head office first thing. How much information do I give them? No, of course not. All right, thanks Geoff. We'll head back." Clare gently placed the phone back down.

Slowly, Clare turned and stood, raising her hands in protests to Johnno's barrage of questions. "Rowie's fine, she's asleep. They don't need to transfer her, and we're off standby."

"And?" Johnno frowned.

"And it doesn't take a genius to narrow the suspect pool down. It appears we're all thinking the same thing." Clare sighed.

"And?" Johnno continued.

"I have to ring through for replacement doctors first thing. But, I'm not allowed to give any information to head office, so I can just imagine what Jim Anderson is going to say." Clare scribbled some notes down on a nearby notepad.

"It's really true?" Johnno shook his head, almost expecting everyone to have overreacted.

"So it seems." Clare paced over and brushed his arm softly.

"Guess I thought there was a chance everyone was just thinkin' the worst." Johnno sighed as they strolled through towards the front door.

"Yes, it's not fair, is it?" Clare turned out the lights and followed behind Johnno.

**XxXxX**

_0340, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"You're back on at seven, aren't you?" Geoff rubbed his eyes as he and Jackie walked from the tea room back through to the nurse's station.

"Yeah. Feels wrong leaving though. I'll sit with her for a while." Jackie shrugged. "Tomorrow's going to be interesting."

"I'll have Jim Anderson screaming down the phone at me, no doubt." Geoff sat down at the desk, opening the file that he had in his hand.

"What are you going to tell head office?" Jackie shook her head in disbelief.

"As little as possible," Geoff replied. "I'm not prepared to violate patient confidentiality and it's really none of anyone's business. I'll stick to the facts as far as head office is concerned. One doctor in hospital, another has just disappeared."

"Do you think he has though? I mean, has anyone actually looked for him?" Jackie leaned up against the desk thoughtfully.

"Who's had time?" Geoff searched around the desk for a pen.

"True." Jackie thought back over the evening. "God, I didn't finish work until after ten, by the time I'd walked home, it must have been nearly ten-thirty before I found her."

Geoff opened the manila folder, reluctantly reading over his previous notes.

"Guy could be back in Melbourne by now. You think you know someone." Jackie shook her head, thinking over the past few days.

"Hey?" Geoff tapped her shoulder lightly. "This is not your fault, you know."

"I know, but bloody hell Geoff, I've always been a shocking judge of character. Why can't I just find someone who isn't going to turn out to be a complete bastard?" Jackie looked down at the dried blood on her uniform. "I'm going to change, and I might as well spend the rest of the night sitting with Rowie. Hopefully get a bit of sleep." Jackie looked over at Geoff, the events of the last few hours washing over her.

"Let me know if you need anything. But she should sleep until everything starts to wear off." Geoff nodded with a soft smile as Jackie headed towards the change room.

"I think I'd like to be there when it does." Jackie sighed.

**XxXxX**

Sitting on a chair, with her head nestled on a pillow against the wall, Jackie had managed to drift in and out of sleep several times. Waking every time a night duty nurse came in to do obs, Jackie felt more drained from the three hours she'd be trying to sleep than she had before she'd even sat down in the chair.

Watching as Elizabeth quietly left the room, Jackie sighed. Keeping the extent of Rowie's injuries confidential in hospital was one thing. What would happen once the police showed up?

Glancing up at the clock, Jackie was just about to rearrange the pillow yet again, when she heard Rowie stir.

Sitting forwards in her chair, Jackie watched more intently, not sure if Rowie was awake or still asleep.

Waiting until she heard the distinctive sound of the crisp hospital sheets rustling, Jackie moved quickly to the side of the bed.

"Rowie, it's Jackie, you're in hospital. It's all right," she spoke quietly.

Eventually managing to pull herself into a sitting position, Rowie squinted against the darkness, trying to confirm her location.

"Just lie still." Jackie reached for her arm, suddenly realising her presence was being perceived as a threat, when Rowie pulled violently against the contact. "Rowie," Jackie pleaded.

Rowie finally stopped moving when she saw the IV on the back of her right hand.

"What?" Rowie swallowed, again looking around the room.

"You're in intensive care," Jackie glanced towards the door, considering calling for assistance. "Can you lie back for me?" she whispered.

Not completely oriented, but nonetheless trusting Jackie, Rowie followed her request.

"Good, that's it," Jackie encouraged.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Jackie asked, gently reaching over to press the call bell as subtly as possible.

"What happened to me?" Rowie sighed, glancing up at the bag of IV antibiotics.

Jackie paused, suddenly not sure how to answer the question. "Rowie, do you remember last night?"

Blinking several times, Rowie shook her head.

Looking back down to the IV in the back of her hand, Rowie struggled to piece together fragmented memories. "Why am I here?"

Jackie shook her head, unsure how to answer, when she heard the door open across the room. "It's Geoff," Jackie spoke calmly.

Rowie looked between Geoff and Jackie as he entered the room.

"Is everything all right?" Geoff asked calmly, arriving at the foot of the bed.

"Geoff?" Rowie looked up at him desperately. "What happened to me?"

Geoff chose his words carefully. "You had an accident last night. What's the last thing you do remember?" he looked to Jackie, both exchanging glances of concern.

Shaking her head, Rowie tried to remember. "I walked home from the hospital," she trailed off, feeling panic set in. "How, how did I get here?"

"Ssh, it's all right." Jackie reached forwards to touch her shoulder lightly.

"Rowie, you've had diazepam and midazolam, that's why you can't remember. It's all right, it'll all come back in a few hours," Geoff reassured.

Taking in the explanation, Rowie nodded, before gradually lifting her gaze to look up at Geoff. "But _what _happened? Why did I need sedation?"

Jackie turned to Geoff with a dejected sigh.

Clasping his hands in front of him, Geoff tried to ease into an answer slowly. "Jackie found you in your room late last night." He shook his head, hoping some memory might return.

Rowie looked frantically between both of them. "What's going on?"

Geoff sighed, walking around to the opposite side of the bed to examine his patient.

"What day is it, Rowie?" Geoff asked.

"Wednesday, I think," Rowie answered, quickly looking in the opposite direction as Jackie wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her left upper arm.

"Good." Geoff smiled. "Try not to worry just yet, all right? Give the drugs time to wear off."

Rowie watched as Jackie finished taking the blood pressure reading and removed the grey cuff. "What time is it now?"

"Ah, just after six in the morning. It's Thursday morning now," Geoff answered.

As she tried desperately to recover the recent memories, Rowie felt the tears fill her eyes.

"What the hell happened to me?" she demanded, looking between each of her colleagues.

Geoff sighed with a nod, gesturing for Jackie to answer the question.

Cringing, Jackie had no other way to phrase the reply. "Rowie, you were sexually assaulted last night."

"What?" Rowie looked immediately to Geoff in sheer disbelief. "Why can't I remember?"

His mouth opening slightly, Geoff answered softly, "In order to be able to examine you last night, we had to sedate you. Now, I know it must seem frightening, but give it a few more hours, all right? I'm just going to get you some more analgesia."

Rowie looked up at the IV bag, "Prophylactic antibiotics?"

"Yup." Geoff nodded glancing back to Jackie, both thinking that Rowie seemed too calm. "I'll be right back," Geoff spoke quietly, before he left the room.

Slowly, Jackie rested her hands on the bedrails.

"Rowie?" Jackie commenced tentatively. "I know it's a lot to deal with at the moment, but I need to ask if you want to start an emergency contraception regimen?"

At first, Rowie only heard the end of Jackie's sentence, having to work back over the nurse's words to deduce their complete meaning. She drew her left hand to her mouth.

"I'm sorry," Jackie whispered inadequately.

Rowie moved her hand up to her forehead. Her breathing quickened in panic.

Jackie forced herself to conceal her emotions, continuing just as she would with any other patient. "Are you on the pill?"

Rowie merely shook her head. "This isn't happening. I, I can't deal with this," she dismissed quickly.

Both looked up as Geoff re-entered the room.

"Digesic." He handed Rowie the small plastic tablet container and a cup of water.

Staring down at the tablets, Rowie blinked several times, still trying desperately to recover some memory.

Geoff looked between Jackie and Rowie as she swallowed the tablets.

"We're both here if you need anything," Geoff assured.

Geoff watched as Jackie took the tablet container and cup and briskly left the room.

"Try and get some rest?" he suggested gently, remaining at the foot of the bed.

"Geoff?" Rowie looked up from the white blanket under her hands.

"Hmm?" he picked up the blue obs chart and made several quick notes.

"Am I hurt?" Rowie bit down on her lower lip and slowly severed eye contact with him.

Carefully slipping the blue folder back over the edge of the bed, Geoff looked up at her. He knew what she was asking.

"There's some bruising to your arms and chest," He paused. "Pelvic exam showed abrasions and a minor laceration to the posterior fourchette, tearing to the hymen, and bruising to the cervix. However, there was no uncontrolled bleeding, and no need for surgical intervention." Geoff watched Rowie lower her eyes back to her hands. He paused, realising just how clinical his words had sounded. "You'll be okay," Geoff spoke inadequately.

Awkwardly Rowie moved herself back against the pillows.

"Why can't I remember?" she whispered.

"Just give it some more time. You remembered more last night, it'll come back," Geoff reassured. He watched as she dropped her eyes closed wearily.

"Jackie's staying with you overnight, and I'm here anytime," Geoff stated quietly.

Eyes still closed, Rowie nodded in response to his words.

**XxXxX**

"Sister?" Geoff quickly caught up to Jackie in the corridor. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Jackie shook her head tiredly.

"I know this is hard, Jackie." Geoff patted her shoulder supportively.

"It's not that, Geoff." Jackie sighed. "I asked Rowie about emergency contraception; she said she's not on the pill."

Slowly, Geoff nodded, "And?"

"And you came in right in the middle of it." Jackie sighed.

"Sorry," Geoff apologised. "Wait til morning, try and speak with her again."

Geoff lowered his voice deliberately. "Jackie, you read the history form as well as I did, it's going to take her a while to process this. She has absolutely no memory of the past twelve hours, she wakes up after what was in itself a pretty traumatic pelvic, and is told that she's been raped. On top of that, she's faced with the risks of pregnancy, STDs, HIV, you name it."

"But she knows the procedures," Jackie shrugged.

"That just makes it worse. She knows exactly what's been done to her medically; even worse, we're the ones that did it to her. She probably feels just as violated by us for crying out loud! She's completely out of control here," Geoff explained.

"She'd be petrified," Jackie agreed. "Hell, I'd be petrified, and I'm not half the control freak Rowie is."

"So just give her some time. What I don't understand is how whoever did this, thought he'd get away with it."

"Well, until she can remember, he has gotten away with it." Jackie shook her head in exasperation.

"Jackie, why don't you head back to the pub, get a few hours' sleep?" Geoff suggested.

"I'm all right. It's just Rowie's reaction that I wasn't expecting," Jackie continued.

"What we just saw in there wasn't the same as what we saw earlier. She's scared, she's vulnerable. Once the amnesic effects of the benzos wear off, and she starts to get some memory back, I think we'll have our hands full." Geoff watched Jackie take in his words.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Geoff. I'm, I'm just," Jackie trailed off.

"Exhausted. Look, grab a few hours in the examination room, I'll wake you if I need you." Geoff gestured to the room behind them.

"What if she wakes up and no-one's there?" Jackie sighed, shaking her head. "No, I'll go back in."

"All right," Geoff answered reluctantly. "And remember, it's early days."

Slowly, Jackie nodded, turned and headed back into intensive care.


	6. Chapter 6 - Denial

Chapter 6 - Denial

**XxXxX**

_0920, Thursday, 19/3/92_

Turning around from the radio, Clare watched as Johnno walked through the entrance hall and into the room.

"Clare Bear," he exhaled tiredly.

She crossed the room and gave him a consoling smile. "Didn't think you'd be in today?"

"Nothin' else to do." Johnno placed his flight bag on the top of his desk.

"I just wish they'd all stop gossiping; it's all I can do to not turn the damn thing off." Clare gestured towards the radio.

"What, the locals got wind of this?" Johnno frowned.

"Since eight o'clock this morning, it's been like Chinese whispers. Nothing specific of course, just that one of the doctors ended up in hospital last night. But of course the speculations are flying." Clare walked back over and took a seat in front of the radio.

"Have you heard anything?" Johnno asked, leaning back against the room divider.

"No, nothing," Clare replied.

"Feel useless just sitting around here." Johnno shook his head.

"Well, I guess there's nothing we can do, is there?" Clare answered.

Both of them turned around at the sound of the door opening.

Geoff strolled through the entrance hall, looking between each of them in turn.

"Morning." Geoff rubbed his eyes.

"Geoff?" Johnno turned quickly.

"Sorry for not getting back to you two sooner last night," Geoff apologised.

"How is she?" Johnno asked directly.

With a deep sigh, Geoff considered his answer. "Better than I expected for the moment. Jackie hasn't left her side."

"I had to tell him, Geoff. It was the only way to stop him ending up at the hospital earlier this morning," Clare explained.

Trying to catch up on the developments, Geoff looked from Clare to Johnno.

"Well, did Row say who did it?" Johnno asked impatiently.

Running his hands through his hair in sheer exhaustion, Geoff tried to deal with Johnno's question as diplomatically as he could. "I can't talk about it, mate. In a few days, once the police have investigated, we can debrief, but until then, we have to handle this with absolute discretion."

"Yeah, you're right, Geoff." Johnno nodded. "So, you need me for anything?"

Geoff breathed a long, exhausted sigh. "Not at this stage. It's going to be chaotic for the next few days; God forbid we have an emergency before we can get another doctor here. Clare, can you cancel tomorrow's clinic run, please."

"Will do, Geoff. I've left a message with head office. Jim Anderson is going to get in contact with you as soon as he gets in," Clare answered diligently.

"That's all I need." Geoff frowned. "Coffee, coffee, coffee," he mumbled under his breath as he made his way over to the percolator.

Tapping his hand against his knee thoughtfully, Johnno decided to cross the room to Geoff.

"Ah, I know you said you can't talk about it. But, maybe you oughta talk to Clare. She said there was some stuff between Guy and Rowie she should have reported to you." Johnno kept his voice lowered.

"I see." Geoff prepared the coffee. "I'll have a word with her." Geoff looked away awkwardly. "The police should be getting in sometime today; they'll want to have a chat to you."

"Right," Johnno answered quickly, not picking up on the more subtle meaning behind Geoff's words.

"Look, there's no easy way to say this Johnno. Until Rowie has made a formal statement, I need you to stay away from the hospital." Geoff slowly lifted his gaze.

Realisation dawned on the pilot. "Gee, thanks for your support. So that's what all that 'can't talk about it' stuff was; I'm a suspect until Rowie says otherwise."

Geoff shook his head quickly. "Not in my mind you're not. But, it's important that we play this by the book."

"Yeah, yeah," Johnno trailed off. "Thank God I was playing pool with Steve last night."

"Mate, off the record, I think we all know who did this; we just have to keep our opinions to ourselves until the police have investigated. Sorry, I'm probably being more blunt than I should be; it's been a hell of a night." Geoff sighed, watching the coffee begin dripping into the jug.

"I'll bet. So there's nothing you need me to do?" Johnno asked.

"No, no. I'm going to request a relief pilot for a few days, thought you'd want some time off." Geoff added milk and sugar to the nearby mug.

"I'm all right. Seriously. I mean, unless you need to transfer Row and you think she'd prefer someone else, but I'm all right to work," Johnno stated firmly.

"You sure?" Geoff reached for the jug of freshly brewed coffee.

Johnno nodded, also reaching for a mug.

"Right, well that takes the pressure off a bit. I was dreading the reaction from head office when I told them I needed three replacements." Geoff poured the coffee into his mug.

"Geoff?" Clare called from across the room. "Phone call; it's Jim Anderson."

"Main office, thanks Clare." With a long sigh, Geoff took a slow sip of his coffee. "Here we go."

**XxXxX**

_0940, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Thanks Tracey." Jackie looked up as the cup of tea was handed to her.

"No probs, you must be exhausted," The younger, brunette nurse answered.

"Can you let me know when Geoff gets back?" Jackie asked.

"Will do." Tracey nodded and quietly left.

Slowly taking a sip of tea, Jackie heard the sound of movement from across the room.

Carefully placing the cup down, she watched as Rowie turned her head slightly.

Jackie remained where she was, watching for several moments as Rowie sat up, her attention quickly going to the IV in the back of her right hand.

Before Jackie could react, Rowie had pulled back the op-site dressing and removed the cannula, the IV line falling to the floor.

"Rowie!" Jackie arrived quickly to the opposite side of the bed, stopping the IV and managing to grasp Rowie's shoulders just as she pulled herself to the edge of the bed.

"Just wait." Jackie realised she didn't even have a free hand to call for help.

"I don't need to be here," Rowie asserted.

"Rowie, please, just give me a minute," Jackie pleaded, awkwardly managing to press the call bell. "We just need to get Geoff here, and we can talk about it, all right?" Jackie kept her left arm tightly on Rowie's shoulder.

"Jackie?" Tracey poked her head quickly back into the room.

"Call Dr Standish, Tracey. I need him back ASAP," Jackie answered, keeping her voice calm.

"Ah, right," Tracey paused, looking worriedly between each of her colleagues.

"Now!" Jackie ordered.

Her breathing rapid with panic and exertion, Rowie looked from Jackie back down to the edge of her hospital gown.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" Jackie asked slowly, stalling for time.

Jackie watched as Rowie studied the bruises above her knees.

Rowie shook her head as she spoke, "I don't want to talk about it."

"That's all right, you don't have to. Do you remember coming to hospital?" Jackie kept her voice low.

Hesitantly, Rowie nodded. "I remember being in the ambulance." She swallowed. Rowie clenched her jaw at the intrusive memories.

"Good." Jackie nodded. "Come on, just lie back for me?"

Rowie acquiesced.

"Headache, blurred vision, dizziness?" Jackie prompted.

"I'm fine," Rowie muttered dismissively.

"Geoff should be here soon," Jackie reassured.

**XxXxX**

"Jim, I'm it, until Dr Lang is fit to return to work; and at this stage, I've got no idea how long that will be. Now, I can't operate, I can't leave the Crossing, until I get another doctor here. That means, all clinic runs, all surgical procedures, emergency and non-emergency, are suspended. Apart from the patients I currently have in hospital, and seeing patients here at the base, we're non-operational."

"Standish, how the hell did you lose two doctors in one night? And where's Reid?" Jim Anderson bellowed down the other end of the phone.

"I've no idea about Dr Reid. No-one has seen him since yesterday evening. Now, I realise this is a logistical nightmare; but I've had two hours sleep since six o'clock yesterday morning. I can't do it all," Geoff defended sharply.

"Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do. It'll be a few days, though. Monday at the earliest," Jim replied gruffly.

Geoff turned, hearing his office door open without a knock.

"Geoff, it's Rowie. Jackie needs you at the hospital urgently," Clare raised her voice in order to obtain his immediate attention.

"Jim, I have to go." Geoff pulled the phone away from his ear, still able to hear Jim Anderson's tirades as he dropped the phone down to the desk and ran from the office.

**XxXxX**

Out of breath, Geoff arrived to intensive care, taking a quick glance through the circular window before entering.

Jackie looked up from the bedside with a relieved sigh.

Gradually regaining his breath, Geoff crossed the room, not expecting the apparent calmness he now saw before him. "Is everything all right?" he asked tentatively.

"We've had a bit of an unscheduled IV removal, Geoff." Jackie glanced subtly towards her patient.

"I see." Geoff nodded, arriving at the other side of the bed opposite Jackie. "Rowie, how are you feeling?"

"Geoff, I'm fine. I just want to get out of here," she answered immediately.

"Really?" he frowned suspiciously. "I'd feel more comfortable if you stayed in for observation for another night." Geoff looked awkwardly between Rowie and Jackie, having no way of knowing if there had been any improvement to the amnesia since the last time he'd seen his patient.

"I told Jackie, vision's fine, I don't have a headache. I certainly don't need to be in intensive care for crying out loud." Rowie rolled her eyes.

"Well, that was my decision. I thought you'd prefer the privacy." Geoff shrugged.

"I don't need to be here at all," she replied indignantly.

Slowly, Geoff considered her objection. "Will you at least let me run some obs?"

Looking down towards the foot of the bed, Rowie nodded.

"Jackie, can I have a word outside?" Geoff looked over to the door.

Mouth opening, Jackie glanced in Rowie's direction.

"You'll be all right to stay here for a few minutes?" Geoff asked.

"Fine," Rowie sighed, not looking at either of them as they left the room.

Closing the door and walking down the corridor, Geoff turned sharply to Jackie.

"What the hell was that? You removed the IV without consultation, Sister?" Geoff frowned.

"Geoff, she pulled the cannula out!" Jackie defended her actions.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I think I underestimated what I'd left you with in there," Geoff replied.

"Yeah, you're damn right!" Jackie exclaimed.

"Something's not adding up, here. Why's she so anxious to get out of hospital? Does she think she's going back to the pub?" Geoff scratched his chin, looking back in through the window.

"Who knows!" Jackie exclaimed. "My money's on the notion that she's just trying to block it out completely."

"Has she said anything about last night?" Geoff probed.

"She remembers the ambulance ride. She certainly reacted as if she remembers more; but when I asked, she refused to discuss it." Jackie brought him up to speed.

"Well, what're your thoughts on management?" Geoff folded his arms across his chest.

"I think it's important that if she's stable medically, that we let her have control. If she wants to be discharged, then, so be it. She can't go back to the pub though." Jackie shook her head.

"No," Geoff agreed. "Are you okay to take her out to our place? I'll run it past Kate, but I think a few days away from town will help. The police will be arriving at some stage today. They'll want to speak with her."

"Well, sure." Jackie shrugged, "Gives her some privacy too."

"Right, you go back in, I'll give Kate a quick heads up and join you back in for the examination. Don't say anything until I get back, just in case," Geoff replied succinctly.

"You'll need to discuss oral antibiotics with her, won't you? And I'm not convinced that her refusal of the Yuzpe this morning was an informed decision." Jackie shrugged.

"All right, but just leave it until I get back. We'll go through it all as part of a discharge plan, okay?" he answered, with a final nod, heading back towards the examination room to call Kate.

**XxXxX**

_1020, Thursday, 19/3/92_

Vic looked up from behind the bar as the door opened.

"Morning," Penny arrived into the Saloon followed closely by Clare.

"Any news?" Vic asked glumly.

Penny glanced back to Clare awkwardly.

"Rowie's all right, Vic. She's going out to Geoff and Kate's for a few days. We've just come to get some of her clothes and things." Clare nodded, holding the room key in her right hand.

"I see," Vic answered, clearly still distressed.

"Have the police arrived yet?" Clare asked.

"Nup." Vic looked down at the top of the bar.

"Oh, Clare!" Nancy raced over from the kitchen doorway, as soon as she saw her.

"Clare, we'd better get back as soon as we can," Penny headed towards the corridor leading to the stairs.

"Nancy, we can talk upstairs," Clare circumvented the discussion as politely as she could.

"Of course." Nancy followed behind Penny and Clare, as all three arrived to the bottom of the stairs.

"Is it really true?" Nancy enquired, as soon as they were out of general earshot.

"As far as we know, Geoff's not giving much away," Clare answered. "Poor man has been up all night, the base is non-operational. It's a nightmare."

"My goodness. So no-one's seen Guy either?" Nancy continued.

"No," Clare trailed off awkwardly.

Penny stopped abruptly at the landing between the two flights of stairs.

"Is he the one who did this or something? Did Guy rape Rowie?" Penny's gaze flickered between the older women's stunned faces.

"Oh, heavens," Nancy sighed, turning to Clare for confirmation.

"I don't know why you're both looking at me," Clare answered defensively. "I told you, Jackie and Geoff are playing this close to the chest. Just as they should."

"Come on, Clare, they can't stand each other; is it true or isn't it?" Penny pressed, blocking the top of the staircase until she had an answer.

Clare sighed, in a mixture of fatigue and frustration.

"I _told_ you Penny, I don't know. Now, can we just get this over with? Geoff said we needed to get back urgently." Clare frowned.

"Surely Guy wouldn't do something like that. Would he?" Nancy reached for Clare's upper arm.

"For mercy's sake! All I know is that Jackie told me that Rowie had been raped. I don't know anything more than that!" Clare raised her voice in exasperation.

"Well, where the hell is he, then?" Penny thought back over the late night conversation she and Guy had had at the hospital several days earlier.

"Penny, please," Clare glared.

With a sigh, the young girl relented, and all three silently finished climbing the stairs.

"Ah, what are you doing?" Nancy touched her index finger to her mouth worriedly as Clare and Penny stopped outside Rowie's room.

"Geoff told us to get some clothes and things. It's all right, he gave us the key," Clare reassured.

Nancy nodded, remaining in the middle of the hallway as Clare unlocked the door and stepped into the room.

"Whoa," Penny exclaimed, as they both gazed around the hotel room.

"Oh my God, is that blood?" Nancy gasped, clasping her hand over her mouth.

"Penny, don't touch anything, all right?" Clare took several tentative steps into the room behind Penny.

"We just need a bag or something." Penny quickly spotted the red backpack on top of the wardrobe. "Clare?" She pointed, before receiving a nod of approval and pulling it down.

Slowly opening the wooden door of the wardrobe, Clare brought out several blouses, a pair of jeans and some black trousers. "There."

"Shoes?" Penny shrugged, reaching for the white sneakers at the bottom of the wardrobe.

"Underwear?" Clare turned around, carefully crossing the room to the bedside table.

Penny looked between Nancy and the bloodstained quilt, as she quickly folded and stuffed Rowie's clothes into the red bag.

"Here," Clare quickly retrieved several pairs of bras, socks and underwear, and brought them over towards Penny.

As they both helped packing the bag, their attention was drawn to the sounds of soft sobbing from the hallway.

Looking up, Clare saw Nancy pull the handkerchief from her sleeve and dab at her eyes.

"Nancy." Clare sighed, quickly crossing the room and arriving back out into the hallway to place a hand on her shoulder.

"I just feel so terrible. To think this happened under our own roof. Rosie was practically like a daughter to us. We've known her since she was born. I've probably spent more time with her than her own parents. Especially after her mother passed away." Nancy tried to hold back the tears.

"Let's just get this finished, and we can sit down with a cup of tea, hmm?" Clare squeezed Nancy's shoulder.

"Anything else?" Penny asked, having finished packing the bag.

"I can't think of anything," Clare shook her head.

"Oh, nightie and toiletries," Penny answered, quickly spotting the pale blue t-shirt behind the door and the toiletries bag on the small table next to the sink. "And hairbrush," Penny muttered. She added the grey hairbrush and other items to the red backpack. "All done."

"Let's get back," Clare nodded, looking down at the keys in her right hand as Penny slung the backpack over her shoulder. "Hey, what about a book?" Penny paused, spotting the book open on the floor, beside the bed.

Clare looked back, as Penny bent down to retrieve it. "Penny, wait!"

Looking up sharply, Penny froze, realising its proximity to the bed.

"Leave it," Clare repeated.

"Yeah," Penny sighed, taking a final glance around the room before arriving out into the hallway.

"You be all right, Auntie Nance?" she looked over, concerned.

"I suppose," Nancy shrugged, slipping the handkerchief back up her left sleeve.

"The police should be here shortly." Clare locked the door once again. "Have you got a spare key, in case they need it?"

"Oh, yes," Nancy nodded as they all proceeded back towards the stairs. "Do tell Geoff, if there's anything I can do, anything at all."

"I will," Clare brushed Nancy's arm. "I think the best thing we can do for Rowie at the moment, is to keep this confidential. It's going to be hard enough for her to get over this, without the entire town knowing about it."

"Of course," Nancy agreed, as they filed silently down the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7 - Reflection

Chapter 7 - Reflection

**XxXxX**

_1030, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Pupil reaction, normal," Geoff slipped the examination torch back into the top pocket of his lab coat. "And your vision's fine?"

"There's nothing wrong with me." Rowie shook her head, with a pained sigh.

"Drowsiness, but that's more than likely the sedation," Rowie answered swiftly.

"You know I'm not happy about this. Anyone else and it wouldn't be negotiable." Geoff took a step back from the bed, glancing over to Jackie.

"I know," Rowie admitted.

"Right; well, I'll meet you halfway. You'll stay at our place for a few days, and Jackie will spend the rest of today with you. You'll have a room all to yourself, total privacy and a couple of nurses to keep tabs on you." He watched Rowie's jaw drop at the suggestion. "Agreed?"

"Fine," Rowie answered sharply. She paused, before looking up at him gratefully, "Thank-you."

"Penny should be back with some clothes shortly, but we still have a few more issues to discuss." Geoff clasped his hands in front of him.

Rowie looked back down to the blanket under her hands. "I just want to forget about it."

"Well, the police will be here at some stage today, and they will want to take a statement. We don't have to talk about what happened, but, there are medical aspects that you need to consider." Geoff alternated his glance between Rowie and Jackie.

Awkwardly, Jackie stepped forward, "Rowie, you probably don't know; you've got a small bite mark on your right breast."

Rowie felt the humiliation begin to wash over her. She wasn't sure what was more disturbing; the fact that she had sustained injuries she didn't know about, or the fact that her colleagues knew more about it than she did.

"Rowie, we know this is extremely difficult to deal with at the moment and it's probably very overwhelming, but, I'd be negligent in my duties as your doctor, if I brushed this off." Geoff watched as Rowie gradually absorbed his words.

"You're right," she sighed, trying to think objectively about her injuries. "A course of amoxicillin and some Digesic should be fine."

"I believe Jackie's already asked you about emergency contraception?" Geoff continued.

"Can I think about it? I just never thought I'd have to so much as consider it." She felt thoroughly overwhelmed.

"Sure. Think about it today, let me know tonight," Geoff replied, glancing up at Jackie to make sure the nurse was satisfied.

Geoff took a deep breath. "Well, you're going to be sore for a while; nothing that required suturing, but still, significant trauma. Rest; physically, mentally. Take all the time you need at our place."

Looking over to Jackie, Geoff continued, "I'll see if Penny is back."

Jackie nodded in response, watching as Geoff quietly left the room.

"How about a shower before we head off?" she suggested hopefully.

Rowie shook her head. "I just want to get out of here."

"All right." Jackie smiled softly.

**XxXxX**

"Are you sure you don't mind, Katie?" Geoff rested his elbow on the corner of the desk as he continued the phone call.

"It's a good idea, hun. I'm just surprised you're discharging her so soon," Kate answered.

"Well, I didn't have much of a choice. She would have discharged herself regardless. At least this way, we can keep an eye on her."

"Are you worried about her?" Kate continued.

"Not really, not medically anyway. Her reaction is probably perfectly normal under the circumstances. It's just not what I was expecting." Geoff muttered.

"This is Rowie we're talking about here, Geoff. If it was someone else, I think you'd see a more emotional response," Kate considered.

"Yeah, you're right. Look, they'll be leaving soon, so should be out to you within an hour or so. How's our girl?" Geoff smiled.

"Pondering taking a few steps, I think," Kate smiled, watching Scarlett standing against the wingback chair. "You spoken to head office yet?"

"Don't even go there, Kate. I mean, I can't blame Jim, it is a nightmare for them. And I wasn't about to give any details away, which didn't make him any the more compassionate." Geoff sighed. "I'll talk to you tonight."

"Sure. I'll get the spare room ready," Kate replied.

"I'll be home as soon as I can, hopefully things will calm down around here." Geoff looked around as he heard Tracey step into the room.

"Delores Sharp has just arrested, Doctor," she spoke breathlessly.

"Gotta go, Katie," Geoff dropped the phone back down to the cradle, and rushed from the room towards the women's ward.

**XxXxX**

_1110, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"I'm sorry, Pen." Geoff walked his sister-in-law out from the ward, having just pronounced Delores' death.

"Nah, it was bound to happen. I'm just glad I got to be there with her." Penny nodded, folding her arms over her floral dress as she took a seat on one of the nearby green chairs.

"Thanks for going to the pub, too. Are the police there yet?" Geoff asked, taking a seat beside her.

"Nothing, yet. Nancy is pretty upset, though." Penny chewed on her fingernail thoughtfully.

"Yes, that's to be expected," he muttered glibly. Geoff glanced around to ensure they had privacy. "Are you all right?"

Penny shrugged awkwardly. "I dunno, I guess I'm confused. Was it Guy who did it?"

Geoff's jaw dropped uncomfortably. "We can't talk about it, Pen. Look, we don't know yet," Geoff trailed off, seeing the young woman's frustration grow.

"Well, can't Jackie just ask her?" Penny got to her feet angrily.

"Penny." Geoff stood, grabbing her arm. "We can talk about it later."

"Whatever," she shrugged, turning sharply from Geoff's grasp. About to leave, she saw Rowie and Jackie walk out from the opposite corridor.

Jackie looked between Penny and Geoff, adjusting the backpack on her left shoulder.

"We're just leaving," the nurse muttered, distracted by the fixed stares that were being exchanged between Rowie and Penny.

"Ah, right, you've got everything?" Geoff cleared his throat.

"Yup," Jackie answered abruptly, glaring at Geoff for help.

"Right, I'll walk you both out, let's go," he gestured to the side exit through the waiting area.

Penny's blank stare melted into a frown of concern as Rowie severed eye contact and walked away with Jackie and Geoff.

Biting her lower lip, Penny tried to make sense of the events of the previous night.

In that moment she didn't know what to believe. She knew Rowie and Guy didn't get along; everyone knew. But she couldn't fathom that Guy would be capable of raping someone.

Could he?

Penny dropped back down to the green chair, again chewing on her thumbnail.

He could get angry, she knew that. He could be mean and selfish.

In that awful moment, Penny felt pulled between two people she'd considered friends. Maybe it was true? 

**XxXxX**

Clare turned around at the sound of the glass door opening behind her.

"Mum!" Steve jogged into the base, visibly out of breath.

"Oh, Steve." She stood up and met him for a hug. "How's Wolf recovering?"

"He's fine," Steve brushed her question away immediately. "What the hell is goin' on around this place?"

Clare frowned, "Didn't Penny tell you?"

"She, she said someone hurt Rowie?" Steve screwed up his face awkwardly.

Clare nodded with a drawn-out sigh.

"The pub is a mad house, Clare! These two detectives just got in, just about tearing the place apart." Steve folded his arms.

"Well, they need to investigate," Clare shrugged.

"Yeah, but they're acting like someone got murdered or something. What's the story anyway, how badly was she hurt?"

"Well, it is serious, Steve," she paused, knowing that they were alone. "Rowie was sexually assaulted last night."

"What, like," Steve swallowed, "someone raped her or something?"

"I'm afraid so, love." Clare grasped her son's arm. "You, haven't seen Guy recently have you?"

Steve shrugged, "Nah, well not since yesterday arvo at the hospital. What's Guy got to do with anything?" Steve paused, slowly comprehending the shattered look on his mother's face. "Guy raped Rowie?" Steve baulked, "No way."

"Steve, I'm sorry. I know you were friends." Clare patted his shoulder.

"Nah, that's crap!" Steve took several steps backwards. "Guy wouldn't do somethin' like that. He can have any girl he wants; he doesn't need to rape anyone."

"Steve, listen to me. It's not as simple as that." Clare tried to follow behind him.

"So, who's sayin' that? Is Rowie saying it was him?" Steve raised his voice.

"Steve, calm down." Clare saw her son's face redden with anger.

"She's accusin' him?" Steve yelled. "Mum, it's not true!"

"Now you listen to me, all right. No-one is accusing anyone. But nobody has seen Guy since last night." Clare tried to talk some sense into her son.

"Well, so what? That doesn't make him a rapist! Rowie's just got it in for him, that's all. They hate each other, Clare."

"I wish I hadn't told you now," she turned away, pacing back towards the radio.

"Yeah, I wish ya hadn't either. I'll sort this out for myself." Steve shook his head, before quickly running back through the corridor and out the front door.

"Steve!" Clare called desperately, hearing the glass door close after him.

**XxXxX**

_1135, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Knock knock?" Jackie tapped lightly on the edge of the wire door.

"Come in, just in the middle of a nappy change!" Kate called from the nursery.

Holding the door open, Jackie waited as Rowie made her way inside.

"Hi," Kate looked up as Rowie hovered in the doorway of the nursery.

Rowie watched as Kate finished changing Scarlett's nappy.

"And how's this big girl going?" Jackie peered around into the nursery.

"Just changing sleeping patterns at the moment. Looks like she's going down to one nap a day." Kate quickly redressed the baby, scooping her up. "Cup of tea?" she offered.

"Definitely," Jackie answered, placing the backpack down on the floor.

"Oh, spare room is just here." Kate smiled, crossing the hallway and gesturing to the ajar door.

Jackie nodded, and walked slowly into the room. She placed the red backpack onto the bed.

"Cup of tea, Row?" Kate tilted her head, realising Rowie had yet to utter a word.

"Sure." She nodded lightly, feeling completely dissociated from the group.

"Now, just make yourself at home. And you're more than welcome to stay as long as you want. It's a bit hectic with this little one at times, but hopefully you won't hear her at nights." Kate bounced Scarlett on her hip.

"I can't thank you enough for doing this," Rowie shrugged looking quickly from Scarlett back to Kate.

"Don't be silly, that's what friends are for," Kate looked around the spare room, trying to think if there was anything that Rowie would need. "I'll show you where the towels and everything else is later."

Rowie and Jackie followed Kate out into the living room.

Placing Scarlett down on the floor amidst an array of toys, Kate crossed the room to the kitchen to boil the kettle.

"We're pretty laid back; since buggerlugs came along, she sets the routine around here when it comes to meals and things." Kate prepared the cups.

Taking a seat at the dining table, Rowie watched Scarlett playing on the floor with some coloured blocks.

"I can't believe it's been a year," Rowie muttered, remembering the day she'd delivered the baby.

"Neither can we." Kate smiled. "There's a few people coming around for lunch on Saturday. Just work, you know, Vic, Nancy, Steve, Penny. But we'll be outside, so if you'd prefer to keep a low profile?"

"I'll be all right." Rowie shrugged. "The sooner we can just forget about it the better."

Pouring the boiled water from the kettle into the cups, Kate glanced over at Jackie, not sure what response to give. "Well, it's certainly nice to have some adult company for a change. Milk, sugar?" Kate looked up.

"Ah, milk, no sugar," Rowie answered.

"Jac?" Kate looked over.

"Oh, ah, same." The nurse replied tiredly.

Slowly standing, Rowie immediately felt two sets of eyes on her. "I'll be right back," she shrugged, walking slowly towards the hallway.

Kate and Jackie waited until they heard a door close, before Jackie stood up and joined Kate in the kitchen.

"Holding it together, isn't she?" Kate spoke cautiously.

"That's what's worrying me." Jackie took the mug of tea gratefully. "She barely said two words during the trip out here. One word answers. In the end, I just gave up."

"Give it a few days, Jac. How much does she remember of last night anyway?" Kate sipped her tea.

"Well, from what I can gather, everything up until the diazepam and midazolam," she answered.

"The assault?" Kate probed.

"No idea; she wouldn't talk to me about it." Jackie frowned. "Not that that surprises me. I mean, she probably thinks I won't believe her." Jackie and Kate made their way back to the table.

"I'll have a talk with her later. If it was Guy, then you might be too close," Kate reasoned.

"You're not kidding. Why do I feel this was all my fault?" Jackie frowned miserably.

"What, because of yesterday?" Kate asked sharply.

"Yeah. He actually cried, Kate. If he hadn't been such a bastard, I would've felt sorry for him." Jackie shook her head.

"It sure is a coincidence, but it's certainly not your fault, Jackie," Kate replied, taking another sip of tea.

"I know, I just feel guilty," Jackie answered with a sigh.

**XxXxX**

Closing the bedroom door, Rowie crossed the room, unzipped the bag and looked through the contents. Knowing she had left a sanitary pad in the small pocket of the backpack, she quickly slipped it into the pocket of her jeans and turned to head back up to the bathroom.

It was then that she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the large mirror over the dressing table.

She paused, looking at her face in detail, as if for any small mark or blemish that would be indicative of trauma. Nothing. She looked exactly the same as she had less than 24 hours earlier.

Rowie drew a deep breath, as she blinked. The emptiness in her eyes was the only part of the reflection she didn't recognise.

**XxXxX**

_1140, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"When's the last time anyone saw him?" Steve leaned over the edge of the bar, trying to get some sense out of Vic.

"Last night, I reckon. Had a few drinks after he got home from work. Saw him leave while you and Johnno were playin' pool." Vic sighed.

"Yeah, but what _time_, Vic. Come on, you can't think Guy would do a thing like this?" Steve pushed harder, slamming his fist on the top on the bar in frustration.

"Now listen up and listen good; don't much care who did it; but I tell you, when I get my hands on the mongrel, he's gonna be beggin' for a gaol cell." Vic stared furiously back at Steve.

"Yeah, but you don't reckon it was Guy, do you?" Steve sighed.

"Coulda been, I guess," Vic muttered.

"Well, what time did it happen?" Steve continued.

"Last night, in the evening. Jackie found her when she come home from work," Vic answered.

"So it coulda been _after_ Guy left, couldn't it?" Steve pressed.

"Listen, ya little twerp, it's up to the police to investigate this, not us." Vic shook his head, deliberately walking away from Steve, back towards the hallway leading to the stairs.

"You all right, love?" he saw Nancy at the bottom of the staircase, just standing there.

"They've been up there for ages," she sighed.

"Nancy, don't suppose you've got a spare key for Guy's room? I wanna see if his stuff is gone?" Steve watched as Vic huffed under his breath.

"Well, of course I do, but," Nancy trailed off. "Vic?"

"If it'll shut the kid up, Nance. No-one's seen him since last night." Vic replied.

"Well, all right." Nancy walked back to the bar to retrieve the key, before heading back upstairs, Vic and Steve on her heels.

As they arrived at the top of the stairs and headed towards Guy's room, they glanced in the direction of the open door.

"Don't look, love," Nancy pulled back on Vic's arm.

Reluctantly, Vic heeded her advice, all three pacing in the other direction, able to hear the sounds of the detectives talking between themselves.

"I really shouldn't be doing this," Nancy sighed hesitantly.

"Look, he's my mate; he won't mind." Steve reached to take the key from her.

"If you say so." Nancy stood back, handing Steve the single key.

Quickly unlocking and opening the door, Steve paced into the room. Hands on his hips, he glanced around.

"All very neat and tidy," Nancy observed.

Steve shrugged, "Yeah." He walked over to the side of the bed. "So where's his medical bag?"

"He had that with him last night. Along with another bag," Vic recalled.

Steve shook his head, going over and opening the wardrobe.

"Damn it." Steve shook his head. "Half his clothes are gone."

Swallowing, Nancy tentatively walked over to his side and glanced into the wardrobe. "Guy's disappeared?" she sighed in disbelief.

"I knew it," Vic muttered under his breath, as he turned and paced back up the hallway.

Arriving outside Rowie's room, Vic cleared his throat, working out what he needed to say. "Hey, you lot?"

Both detectives turned from their discussion.

"Ah, Mr Buckley." The female detective paced out from the room, with a consoling smile. "I'm sorry, we really won't be much longer."

"You take all the time you need. I, I reckon I need to talk to you about last night."

"Yes?" The older, male detective walked out slowly, holding a large camera in his right hand.

"Well, the thing is, dunno if anyone's told you yet, no-one's seen Guy Reid since yesterday evening. I saw him leave around eight or so, had his medical bag and another black bag with him. We just checked his room; his clothes are gone."

"And you think this is somehow related to our investigation?" the female detective paused, as Steve and Nancy arrived behind Vic.

"Vic, don't do this. You can't think it was Guy." Steve objected.

"Shut up," Vic dismissed the young lad immediately. "Look, I wanna help if I can. I'll make a statement, whatever ya like."

"That's very good of you, Mr Buckley. But I'm afraid, at this stage, until we've spoken to Dr Lang, we can't make assumptions," she continued.

"Nah, nah, I understand," Vic muttered, his attention pulled by the sound of Nancy's voice.

"But they can't stand each other," Nancy interjected quickly. "They're always bickering; and at work it's even worse apparently."

"Look, love, it ain't helpin' us interferin'." Vic placed his hand on her shoulder firmly. "I'm sorry, it's very upsetting for my wife and I."

"I understand, but you mustn't feel responsible," the female detective reassured immediately.

"No, ain't that. We've known Rowie her whole life, that's all." Vic muttered.

"I'm sorry," the female detective responded sincerely. "Look, we're just about done in here, and then we'll go and speak with Dr Lang. We might speak with you later today if need be?"

"Sure." Vic nodded.

"Come on, love, we'll go downstairs." Nancy brushed her husband's arm softly.


	8. Chapter 8 - Shame

Chapter 8 - Shame

**XxXxX**

_1150, Thursday, 19/3/92_

Finishing her cup of tea, Jackie glanced back towards the hallway. "Should one of us go and check on her?"

"Hmm, I was thinking that." Kate stood up and crossed the room to Scarlett, who was attempting to climb up onto the lounge. "Can you watch this little girl for a while?"

"Of course." Jackie nodded, quickly standing and arriving to Kate's side.

"Let's see if I have more luck," Kate shrugged, making her way from the room as discreetly as possible so as not to alarm Scarlett.

Kneeling down to the floor to distract the toddler, Jackie quickly obtained her attention with a white bunny rabbit.

"Row?" Kate tapped lightly on the bedroom door, before receiving an affirmative murmur and reaching for the doorknob.

Poking her head into the room, Kate saw Rowie sitting back against the pillows. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and her arms folded in front of her.

"Sorry, I wasn't in the mood for small talk," Rowie trailed off, glancing down at the bedspread.

"It's all right. Just take it quietly for a few days." Kate smiled, tentatively stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.

The sound of the door closing captured Rowie's attention immediately.

"I'm glad you agreed to come out here. Hopefully it's more peaceful than hospital?" Kate suggested, deliberately opting to keep her distance.

"I couldn't have stayed there another hour." Rowie sighed, clasping her hands together over her knees. "It was so, humiliating."

"I know," Kate sighed, quickly changing her answering, "Well, no, of course I don't, but I can imagine." Kate watched Rowie study the small scab from the IV on the back of her right hand. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Shaking her head slowly, Rowie interlocked her fingers together. "I don't want to think about it, let alone talk about it."

"Geoff said the police will be getting in sometime today. You know they'll want to talk to you," Kate informed gently.

"I know," Rowie replied succinctly.

Carefully moving to the end of the bed and sitting down, Kate chose her words carefully.

"Row, surely talking about it can't hurt? If you don't want to talk to Jackie or me, then, is there anyone else?" Kate asked desperately.

Pursing her lips together and considering Kate's question, Rowie met her gaze. "I'll talk to the police."

Kate nodded. "Is there anything I can get you?"

Rowie again shrugged dismissively.

"Another cup of tea?" Kate offered, "You can stay in here if you prefer?"

Cupping her hands over each knee, Rowie eventually nodded.

About to stand, Kate reflected upon Jackie's earlier words. "I want you to know that there's nothing you said or did that makes this your fault. No matter what. We're all here for you, you know that don't you?" Kate paused, seeing the sceptical look flash across Rowie's face.

"Listen to me, Row. I mean it. Don't you think we all know who did this?" Kate felt the words leave her mouth before she'd had time to reconsider.

Rowie looked down, angrily picking the scab open on the back of her hand.

Kate drew a calming breath, knowing she'd overreacted. "God, I'm sorry Row." She shook her head.

Slowly Kate stood from the bed, watching the intensity with which Rowie was studying the drops of blood on the back of her right hand.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Kate whispered.

She left the room without another word passing between them.

**XxXxX**

Closing the bedroom door behind her, Kate wandered slowly back towards the living room, to find Jackie walking Scarlett around holding onto her hands.

"Almost there, I'd say." Jackie looked up.

"Yeah," Kate smiled. "Better than I can say for Row."

"Any luck?" Jackie picked up the toddler and carried her back over towards the kitchen whilst Kate boiled the kettle.

"I think I just made things worse." Kate shook her head. "This is ridiculous. We all know who did this; she knows we know, but she still won't talk about it."

"There's Mummy." Jackie smiled, as Scarlett reached out eagerly towards Kate.

"Aw, hello my big girl." Kate took the baby from Jackie. "Who's my big one year-old?" Kate spoke soothingly as she kissed Scarlett's forehead softly.

"Where do we go from here?" Jackie sighed, watching as Kate put Scarlett down on the floor.

"Well, she said she'll talk to the police when they get here. Guess that's something." Kate placed a teabag into a clean mug.

"Yeah," Jackie nodded. "Maybe that'll be easier; talking to people who aren't involved."

"Let's hope you're right, Jac. Maybe she thinks we won't believe her? I said we all knew who it was; that just seemed to make it worse." Kate felt Scarlett clutch on to her left leg.

"I'm so stupid!" Jackie tapped her forehead angrily. "Don't you see? She's embarrassed about it, Kate."

Kate considered Jackie's suggestion. "Well, she said that's why she didn't want to stay in hospital. That it was humiliating."

"That's gotta be it. Damn it, I've gone about this all wrong. I didn't think about the personal angle. I just handled it like I would have any other rape victim. Support, understanding, validation. All that. I didn't think that it was _me_ that was making this all the more difficult."

"You did your best, Jac," Kate reassured.

"Maybe I'm too close to this? Maybe she'll never open up to me?" Jackie watched as Kate finished preparing the cup of tea.

"Give it time. I think when the police speak to her, it'll break the ice. Once she's talked about it, it'll get easier." Kate glanced out of the window towards the pool.

"Is there any point me even being here then?" Jackie sighed, folding her arms hopelessly.

"Of course there is, Auntie Jackie." Kate scooped up the little girl and passed her over, catching Jackie off guard. "I'll go take this to Row."

**XxXxX**

_1315, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Are they still talking to Jackie?" Rowie looked up as Kate entered the room.

"Yeah. Are you sure you won't have some lunch?" Kate hesitated by the door.

Rowie shook her head, just wanting to get out of the room. "Can we go for a walk?"

"Sure." Kate shrugged, bouncing the toddler on her hip.

"So, how'd it go?" Kate asked eventually, as they made their way around the pool.

"Better than I expected," Rowie answered.

"It was good they sent out a female officer," Kate thought back to Jeannie Mooreland's rape several years ago. Sensitivity had not been that detective's middle name.

"I suppose," Rowie shrugged. "It didn't matter that much, all that mattered was that it was anonymous."

"It didn't take as long as I thought it would?" Kate shrugged.

"Just the facts at this stage, and there's not much I remember. There'll be follow up interviews."

"Yeah." Kate nodded, resisting every gnawing desire to probe for details.

They walked further away from the house, Kate placing Scarlett down when she was satisfied they were far enough away from the pool.

"How are you feeling?" Kate clarified.

"I'll live. I'm a bit tired, but that's to be expected." Rowie folded her arms across her chest as they stopped walking.

Kate smiled softly. "I mean it, Row, just treat this place as home. Anything you need, just ask. Scarlett's down to one feed a night, and with the baby monitor, hopefully I'll hear her before you do." Kate watched Rowie gaze silently into the horizon.

"Did Geoff tell you that I resigned yesterday?" Rowie broke the silence.

Eyebrows lifting in surprise, Kate shook her head. "No."

"Four weeks' notice, and I was going to be on my way to Europe." Rowie shrugged. "Thank God I hadn't booked anything yet."

"And then what?" Kate asked.

"Oh, I don't know. A month or so travelling, then see what came up. I was thinking of applying for a few registrar positions, maybe specialise." Rowie sighed.

"What in?" Kate smiled softly.

"Psychiatry," Rowie chuckled ironically. "I've certainly found myself gravitating towards the field lately."

"Yeah, mental health in the bush is a hornet's nest." Kate agreed, bending down to pick up Scarlett as she was just about to chew on a twig.

"But that's not going to happen now, is it?" Rowie muttered.

"What are you going to do?" Kate tilted her head.

"No idea. Might go to Melbourne for a while," Rowie answered.

"Are you sure? I mean, you've got family, friends here." Kate frowned worriedly.

"I'm not staying here, Kate," Rowie answered sharply.

"Well, the base is non-operational anyway, apparently. Geoff's on his own until Jim can organise replacement doctors." Kate spoke awkwardly.

"What?" Rowie blinked several times.

"Guy's disappeared," Kate replied in a neutral tone.

Swallowing, trying to think of an appropriate response, Rowie felt the silence intensify between them.

"Geoff doesn't need to worry about me. I'll be fine to work." Her tone was detached and succinct.

"Don't be ridiculous, Row." Kate shook her head. "Don't feel as though you need to push yourself, just because of Geoff."

"I'm not being ridiculous. I'd rather be working anyway." Rowie shrugged.

Both turned at the sound of a door opening behind them.

Kate watched as the two detectives made their way out to the backyard. "I'd better get this girl down for a nap." Kate excused herself swiftly and headed back inside.

"Is it all right if we ask you another couple of questions?" Detective Louise Hughes took several steps closer than her colleague.

Tiredly, Rowie shrugged with an obligatory nod.

"You said earlier that Dr Reid had been having an affair with a staff member, in addition to his relationship with Ms Crane. Who was that other relationship with?" Detective Hughes flipped open the small black notepad in her right hand.

Awkwardly, Rowie looked back towards the house. "Penny Wellings."

"And is she a nurse?" Detective Simon Watson elaborated.

"No. She helps out with administration." Rowie looked between each of them. "She's Kate's younger sister. Are you going to need to speak with her?"

"I assure you, at this stage, it's just for us to understand the events that proceeded yesterday evening. During our conversation with Ms Crane, she mentioned finding out about the affair; but she didn't know who the other party was. Does anyone else know about this?" Louise continued.

"Not to my knowledge," Rowie answered curtly.

"All right. Well, we'll be in town for the next day or so. There are a few more people we need to talk to." Simon nodded slowly.

"Just how many people are going to have to be dragged into this? I've told you what happened." Rowie shook her head.

"It's not just about last night, Dr Lang. For us to build a strong case, we have to anticipate any possible defence his attorney may come up with. In order to do that, we need to understand the relationships in your life; in Dr Reid's life, in order to refute such a defence."

"Well, like what?" Rowie frowned suspiciously.

The two detectives exchanged glances, before Simon eventually answered her question. "Well, there are several possibilities. His attorney can claim that the sex was consensual; or they can deny that it even took place. It's our job to prove that all conditions were true; that sexual intercourse took place; that it took place without your consent; and, that Dr Reid was aware of this. But with the physical evidence and the character assessment from Ms Crane, he won't be able to put up much of a fight for long."

Rowie lowered her gaze, momentarily overwhelmed by the information.

"Dr Lang, you don't need to worry about any of this. This is our job. Your job is to look after yourself and make use of all the support available to you to work through this. I'll get the details of a counsellor you can contact when you're ready," Louise spoke slowly.

"Who else do you need to speak to?" Rowie eventually looked up.

"We're not sure. From here, we'll head back to the hospital and speak with Dr Standish." Louise answered.

"And the publican," Simon prompted.

"Vic? Vic and Nancy know too?" Rowie clasped her hand over her mouth.

"We're not sure what they know, Dr Lang. As far as anyone knows, there was an incident, and you were assaulted. That is the extent of the information that we give anyone, and only if we absolutely have to. I assure you, the statement you have given to us today is confidential; we don't give out information in our interviews. We ask the questions that need to be asked; often that leaves people frustrated because they don't understand the basis for the questions; but, maintaining your confidentiality is part of our job. It's important you know that." Louise paused. "The only exception to that is during the interview with the suspect. His attorney is entitled to your statement."

"That's if you ever find him." Rowie rolled her eyes.

"Don't you worry about that, we will," Detective Hughes smiled reassuringly. "His disappearing will work in our favour. Why run if he hadn't done anything wrong?"

"Oh, I can just imagine." Rowie sighed. "You don't know this man."

"I think we're building up a pretty good picture. Once we have the ex-girlfriend believing they're guilty, well, they make a great witness." Simon nodded confidently.

"You told Jackie that it was him?" Rowie looked between each of the detectives in bewilderment.

"No," Louise interjected quickly, "she told us."

"She did?" Rowie's expression melted into one of utter disbelief.

"We didn't have to so much as ask her about her relationship with Dr Reid; she stated immediately that she thought he was the one responsible and proceeded to give us a complete history of their relationship," Louise answered.

"I thought she wouldn't believe me." Rowie turned away from the detectives.

"Quite the contrary. She's furious. She is more than willing to do whatever she can to help you in this." Simon looked silently to his colleague, as she retrieved a business card from the back of her notebook.

Pacing over to Rowie's side, Louise handed her the small white card. "Here are my contact details, if you need anything; anytime, just give me a call. But we'll keep you informed of the developments. You'll be here for a few more days if we need to speak with you again?" Louise queried.

"I, I'm not sure at this stage," Rowie stuttered awkwardly.

"At least until the weekend?" Louise clarified.

Reluctantly, Rowie nodded several times.

"Okay. Take it easy, all right? Try and rest, and if you can, find at least one person you can talk to. It doesn't matter who; but it's important you let the emotions out as they come up." Louise touched Rowie's right shoulder just long enough to get her attention.

"I know," Rowie sighed, turning and watching the detectives walk back towards their car.

Pushing several strands of hair back from her face, Rowie looked from the pool to the house.

Slipping the business card into the pocket of her jeans, she felt the realisation of events dawn on her.

In less than twenty-four hours, her life had been turned upside down.

_It's not a big deal._

Rowie heard the words replaying over and over in her mind. Shaking her head, she knew she couldn't convince herself.

_I'm not going to let this be a big deal. That is exactly what he wants._

She thought back over her conversation with the detectives. It had felt easy; clinical and detached. No more difficult than writing up patient notes. No more difficult than having to listen to Jan Stevens describe her attack at the hands of Tom Baldwin the previous year.

Turning and beginning a slow walk back to the house, Rowie couldn't deny the effect the incident had had on her. Her body was telling with each pained step she took.

**XxXxX**

_1325, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"How'd it go?" Kate asked quietly, having just put Scarlett down for her nap.

"Well, they didn't actually say so, but every question was Dr Reid this, Dr Reid that. And the sorts of things they wanted to know about him; every minute, intimate detail." Jackie scrunched up her face in revulsion. "I didn't mind though, I mean, I got out of this easy, didn't I? I just feel so bad about it all. Maybe if I'd let him down more gently, I dunno."

"I don't think there was any way you could have done that, not with his ego. I knew there was something about him I didn't trust; call it a gut feeling." Kate frowned.

"I wish I had your instincts, You knew, didn't you? I mean you warned me." Jackie thought back to the previous morning.

"Geoff said something that made me think, that's all. And I never really took to him. I mean, he's so full of himself. God, I certainly didn't peg him as a rapist though." Kate sighed, shaking her head.

"I'm hopeless when it comes to judging men. Well, this is the last straw. That's it, I'm done." Jackie sighed, extending her hands out in front of her. "So, what's the plan from here? I'm meant to be chaperoning; but Rowie doesn't seem to want me anywhere near her." Jackie shrugged.

"I'm not doing much better. Best just give her some space for a while. Did you know she resigned yesterday?" Kate leaned forwards.

"Geoff told me last night," Jackie's eyes widened. "Can you believe it?"

"Well, you heard about what Guy did about a month ago, didn't you?" Kate tucked her feet under her on the couch.

"What?" Jackie narrowed her eyes.

"He went behind everyone's back to head office to try and get her transferred." Kate shook her head, remembering the Valentine's Day Rowie had arrived out to their house distraught over finding the letter.

"The bastard," Jackie exclaimed, "It's going to be horrendous once this gets to court. The arguments they've been having for months. How are we meant to remember everything in enough detail to give evidence?"

"Geoff's known about it for ages. Apparently it all started when he made Guy head of the base after we moved to Melbourne," Kate continued.

"Yeah, Geoff and I were talking about it earlier this morning. There's gotta be more to it, though? Geoff reckons maybe Rowie said something to provoke him last night?" Jackie frowned.

"Nothing justifies rape," Kate objected immediately.

"That's what I said." Jackie nodded.

"Hmm, but it might explain why she won't talk to us about it," Kate suggested.

"Where do we go from here?" Jackie rubbed her forehead wearily.

"I don't think it's up to us, somehow. She did talk a bit more outside just before. So maybe now that she's spoken to the police, she'll let down the guard a bit." Kate hoped.

"We'll see." Jackie cleared her throat deliberately, noticing Rowie walking up towards the sliding door. "So, how was Scarlett's birthday?"

Kate noticed the change in Jackie's tone of voice. "Oh, good. She should be walking any day now. You're still coming around on Saturday aren't you?" Kate continued, as she heard the back door open.

"Wouldn't miss it." Jackie smiled.

Both Kate and Jackie looked up as Rowie closed the sliding door quietly.

"How about the grand tour? Show you where everything is?" Kate offered.

"Sure," Rowie shrugged, not really in the mood, but having no better way to pass the time.


	9. Chapter 9 - Pain

Chapter 9 - Pain

**XxXxX**

_1345, Thursday, 19/3/92_

Kate and Jackie stood in the hallway, watching Rowie disappear back into the spare room.

"Well, I've just got to hang out some washing, but call if you need me." Kate shrugged, having just finished showing Rowie around the house.

"Thanks, wish me luck." Jackie smiled softly, as the two women headed in opposite directions.

Jackie arrived in the doorway, watching as Rowie began unpacking the large backpack.

"Can I help?" Jackie slowly walked into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Deliberately avoiding eye contact, Rowie simply shrugged dismissively, and continued hanging items of clothing on coat hangers.

Jackie watched silently for several minutes, struggling to think of something appropriate to say.

"You must be due for some paracetamol by now?" Jackie eventually spoke with a soft smile.

"I'm all right," Rowie answered, crossing the room to hang the clothes up.

"Antibiotics, then?" Jackie prompted.

"Taken them over an hour ago," Rowie replied almost immediately.

"Good," Jackie replied softly.

"Thanks for your help today; With the police," Rowie stated awkwardly.

"It's the least I can do." Jackie watched as Rowie stood quickly from the bed and paced over to the dressing table, clutching the towels.

"I'm going to soak in a hot bath for a while." Rowie glanced around the room, spotting her toiletries bag on the bed.

"Good idea." Jackie smiled. "Need a hand?"

"Not since I was five." Rowie rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, the last twenty-fours have probably been a big enough invasion of privacy. I just meant, are you going to be all right?" Jackie touched Rowie's arm lightly.

"Yeah," Rowie assured.

"Well, call if you need anything?" Jackie nodded.

Glancing around the room to make sure she had everything she needed, Rowie headed out of the bedroom and down the hallway.

**XxXxX**

"This'll be interesting," Jackie muttered under her breath.

"Do you think she'll be all right?" Kate boiled the kettle.

"Who knows? She was adamant that she didn't need any help." Jackie shrugged.

"That's Rowie." Kate took two mugs off the kitchen shelf.

"The bruises will look worse now than they did last night," Jackie considered.

"Does she know about the bite mark?" Kate sighed.

"Yup. Well, she wanted to know why she was on antibiotics," Jackie answered with a frown.

"What?" Kate saw the change in Jackie's expression.

"Kate, if you were in Rowie's shoes right now, what would your view on emergency contraception be?" Jackie broached the subject awkwardly.

"Ah," Kate trailed off, initially trying to work out where Jackie was going with the question. "I dunno," she stopped and then attempted to answer the question. "It would depend on a lot of things."

"Well, like what?" Jackie pushed.

"Well, I'm not in Rowie's shoes, am I? If something like this happened to me, I'd have Geoff for support. I could probably deal with a pregnancy," Kate answered thoughtfully.

"You mean you'd take the risk?" Jackie tilted her head in surprise.

"It's not that simple, Jac." Kate sighed, finally realising where Jackie was headed with her question. "Rowie refused, didn't she?"

Jackie raised her eyebrows, "How'd you guess?"

"I don't know; something recently probably. She was a bit funny when we had a chat about a patient of hers who was considering a termination." Kate thought back a couple of weeks.

"Like anti-abortion?" Jackie connected the dots to her conversation with Geoff earlier that day.

"Maybe," Kate shrugged it off. "Circumstances were different though."

"Well, I don't know what to do. I just hope she's thinking it through." Jackie sighed.

"There's nothing you can do, Jackie. If she's made up her mind, then," Kate saw the concern surface on Jackie's face.

"But has she? I mean, is she even thinking straight yet? If it were me, I'd want the pills forced down my throat, Kate. And I'm telling you that for future reference." Jackie glanced back towards the hallway.

"Your decision." Kate sighed, knowing full-well what her decision would be.

"So you wouldn't?" Jackie snapped, exhaustion contributing to her less than diplomatic outburst.

"If it were me, I wouldn't. But that's my decision, Jackie." Kate softened her voice deliberately.

"Yeah, I know." She frowned. "Is it a religious thing?"

"No," Kate shook her head quickly. "It's a, I'm not sure, a fate thing. After all the trouble I went through to get Scarlett, and having her here now, I couldn't imagine contributing to the ending of another life."

"You're as bad as Geoff. Apparently, from a medical standpoint, oral contraceptives have the same impact as a termination."

"That's true," Kate nodded. "Most people don't know it though."

"But that's ridiculous, Kate. A termination is ending the life of an otherwise viable embryo."

"And oral contraceptives prevent the implantation of an otherwise viable blastocyst. Either way, the embryo dies."

"But you can't compare a cluster of cells to a baby with a heartbeat," Jackie frowned.

"Why not?" Kate pressed. "I think it's the issue of affecting fate, Jac. If you left either in their natural environment, the potential for life exists. Have you ever been pregnant?" Kate paused, realising she had absolutely no idea if Jackie had personal history that was impacting upon her views.

"No, thank God." Jackie shook her head.

"Well, I found the entire experience strengthened my views, so I'm probably not the right person to talk to. Once you go through it, from that moment of the positive pregnancy test, the first ultrasound, feeling your child's movements and then seeing that child for the first time, right through until now, I couldn't imagine ever knowingly interfering with that. I would like to think that included if I was assaulted. I can't begin to imagine how I'd feel, but, the last thing I'd want is to make a decision that I regretted for the rest of my life." Kate looked up, hearing Scarlett's familiar whimpering from the nursery.

"Be right back." Kate smiled and stood from the couch.

**XxXxX**

Rowie immersed her hand into the warm water, and checked the temperature. She turned off the hot water and waited for the bath to reach a more comfortable temperature.

As she watched the small bubbles begin to form along the top of the water, she began to idly unbutton the top of her blouse.

Rowie pulled the white blouse out from the waistband of her jeans, only then glancing down as she slipped the garment from her arms.

With a concentrated sigh, Rowie brought her hands to her back, quickly unclasping her bra, and placing it on top of her blouse next to the sink.

Her gaze fell to the cluster of small dark bruises on her right breast. Swallowing, she felt nausea combine with anger. Forcing her gaze back to the water, Rowie tried to make sense out of the barrage of sounds and images that filled her consciousness.

_His knees pressed painfully into her thighs, as she struggled against him._

_As she felt him pushing into her, she was aware of the familiar smell of hospital disinfectant on his hand, as he clamped it tighter over her mouth._

Rowie wiped at the tears that had trailed silently down her face.

Biting down hard on her lower lip, she shook her head, frustrated because she didn't know why she was crying.

She felt the anger swell from her sternum.

_Why did I let him get away with it? Why didn't I do something?_

Rowie swallowed, stepping forwards to turn off the cold water tap.

Quickly checking the temperature of the bath, Rowie stepped out of her brown shoes and undid her jeans.

Glancing over, she saw the towel on the cabinet.

Only then, as she pushed her jeans and underwear down and stepped out of them, did Rowie think about her impending course of action.

She tried to think through the previous night. Was a bath going to be tolerable?

Dismissively, Rowie sighed. She didn't care. She just wanted to get the smell of his aftershave off her.

Stepping into the bath, Rowie felt her breath catch hesitantly in her throat. Quickly sitting down, her eyes dropped in momentary discomfort, as the water found its way to every inch of her traumatised flesh.

Slowly opening her eyes as the discomfort abated, Rowie dropped the nearby wash cloth into the water.

As she ran the cloth over her upper arms and chest, she tried to ignore the surfacing memories.

_Guy tried to see her face against the dull yellow lighting from the street lights outside as it streamed through the blinds._

_Rowie felt a fresh wave of tears trickle down her cheeks as he moved harder against her. She could smell his Chanel aftershave, mixed with the odour of red wine. With each panted breath, he increased the speed of his thrusts._

_She felt herself being rhythmically jolted by his movements, as she struggled to breathe against the barrage of tears which streamed from her eyes and ran down the back of her throat._

She watched the holographic colours of the bubbles against her left knee, as a heaviness washed over her entire body.

**XxXxX**

_1500, Thursday, 19/3/92_

Geoff closed the door to the examination room, gesturing for the detectives to sit down.

"How's it going?" he asked, crossing the room to the chair behind his desk and taking a seat.

"Everyone's been very cooperative, which is a welcome change." Detective Louise Hughes nodded warmly.

"Yes, well, it's a small town. And Dr Lang is a local. My concern however, is that the specifics of the investigation be kept confidential. In a place like this, news travels fast; and it's important that Dr Lang be able to continue to live and work here, once this is all over."

"No, we understand completely, Dr Standish." Simon nodded immediately. "We've already assured Dr Lang that the details of our investigation will remain confidential."

"So, at this stage, to the best of your knowledge; who is aware of the sexual assault?" Simon reached for his notebook in his left jacket pocket.

"Well, myself, Sister Crane, my wife, whom you've already met. Ah, as for last night, there's Clare Bryant, she's our radio operator; I'll take you over shortly to the base and introduce you. Vic and Nancy Buckley are the owners of the Majestic." Geoff paused, as Louise interjected.

"Yes, we've already met them earlier today. Mr Buckley was very keen to give a statement to us." She tilted her head questioningly.

"Vic and Rowie are pretty close. Well, everyone is here; but from my understanding, Vic's been like a father to her."

"I see. Well, that would explain his insistence on helping us. Anyone else?" Louise continued.

"Ah yes, Penny. Penny Wellings." He saw the detectives meet eyes at the name.

"That's, ah, Kate's sister's isn't it?" Simon spoke awkwardly.

"Yes. She was at the pub last night; unfortunately it was unavoidable that the few people who were around needed to understand the sensitive nature of the situation, in order to facilitate my being called and Dr Lang's subsequent transportation to hospital. I will stress that at no time were the two ambulance officers aware of her condition. Steve McCauley would have been told. He's Clare Bryant's son, and he was Penny's boyfriend until recently. And that just leaves our pilot, Johnno Johnson. That is the extent of the people who are aware; to the very best of my knowledge."

"And your pilot, he was at the hotel last night?" Simon asked.

"Yes. Although I attempted to keep the nature of Dr Lang's injuries from him, Ms Bryant had no choice but to tell him earlier this morning." Geoff cleared his throat, "He and Dr Lang were in a relationship until halfway through last year. I thought it best, given that at the time, I wasn't sure if she was going to need to be flown to Broken Hill, to keep the details from our pilot. He's pretty upset; understandably."

Geoff scratched the side of his chin thoughtfully. "Look, working relationships here aren't what they would be in a city hospital. We work together, those who live at the pub eat together, socialise together. Out here, your colleagues are your friends. Well, usually," Geoff trailed off. "We don't usually have interpersonal problems between our staff."

"But you have had some fractions recently?" Louise raised an eyebrow knowingly.

"Dr Lang and Dr Reid have not been getting along for some time now. There's been bickering and rivalry between them for months. More recently, I discovered he'd attempted to have her transferred to another RFDS base, without any consultation; and from then on, the feuding between them has worsened. Yesterday, Dr Lang gave me her verbal resignation," Geoff spoke honestly.

"I see." Louise turned to Simon, who made several more detailed notes. "It appears as though the situation came to a head rather quickly."

"That was my concern; I asked Rowie specifically if she was resigning because of Guy, and she informed me that she wasn't. I believed her at the time." Geoff saw the female detective open her notebook.

"What time was this Dr Standish?" Louise asked.

"Ah, yesterday afternoon, I had just come in to work the late shift. Perhaps 1500 hours. Look, it was my daughter's birthday yesterday, and I've been videoing everyone; you know, asking them about their lives, things like that. I've actually got Rowie's resignation on video; I've got interviews with Jackie Crane, Penny, Clare, Johnno, even Dr Reid; if it helps you at all." Geoff shrugged.

"So you've got video of Dr Lang from yesterday?" Louise frowned, realising the timing couldn't be more helpful. "It would be beneficial to us to get a baseline character impression."

"I'm not sure how she presented to you today; but Rowie is an extremely confident; competent doctor. That's probably why she and Dr Reid didn't get along. She's, ah, pretty strong-willed." Geoff cleared his throat, "Well, most female doctors are. They've had to be to make it through."

"Then she was pretty subdued today, I'd say." Louise answered hesitantly.

"Well, anyone here will tell you, that's not Rowie Lang." Geoff paused, being reminded of the cricket match they'd all played several months ago. A soft smile crossed his lips, remembering one moment in particular.

"_What's going on?" Rowie yelled from the opposite end of the cricket pitch._

"_Steve and Johnno; they wanna pull out." Geoff explained._

"_What on earth for?" Rowie demanded with a perplexed frown._

"_Well, you've seen those blokes, it'll be a massacre," Steve justified weakly._

"_You pathetic wimps!" Rowie sighed despondently. "All right everyone! Team meeting, over here."_

_Geoff looked between Clare and Johnno, as everyone made their way towards the centre of the pitch._

"_It seems that there are some people here, who are too scared to front up to a game. Now it doesn't matter how ugly the opposition are; it's how well they play that counts. So if anyone wants to chicken out, they'd better do it right now, because they're not going to get a second chance." She glanced daringly around at her team-mates._

"_All those who want to play cricket; stand behind me. And all those with no guts, stay where you are," Rowie challenged._

"Look, come over with me to the base, I can give you the video tape." Geoff looked between the detectives. "And do you want to take custody of the forensic evidence or would that be better sent directly to Broken Hill?" Geoff asked.

"What's the extent of the forensic evidence you were able to gather?" Simon asked sceptically; all too aware of the limitations of a country hospital.

"Everything. Clothing, bloods, swabs, tissue samples. We were able to do a thorough rape kit. The only thing missing I'm afraid, is forensic photography." Geoff sighed.

"But Dr Lang's injuries have been fully documented?" Louise clarified.

"Absolutely. Is it too late to get photographic evidence?" Geoff asked.

"No, it's not too late. It's not ideal, given the time loss; but photographic evidence of the extent of the bruising would only enhance our case." Louise responded. "We can go back?" she glanced over at her partner.

"And what about the other evidence?" Geoff repeated.

"Well, the sooner it gets to a lab for processing the better," Simon answered. "Can your pilot fly the forensics down?"

"Sure. I was concerned about the chain of custody issue, that's all. All the forensic evidence hasn't left the hospital since it was collected late last night."

"And you said that your pilot and Dr Lang were intimately involved?" Louise clarified hesitantly.

"That's correct," Geoff answered.

"Yeah, it's probably better than someone neutral accompany the evidence; the defence would have a field day otherwise." Louise looked over at her partner. "You could transport the evidence whilst I go back out and take the forensic photographs?"

"Fine," Simon agreed.

"So, what happens from here?" Geoff shrugged. "After you've finished investigating?"

"Well, we should be finished with the interviews tomorrow. Then we're out of your way for a while." Simon answered. "But we'll be in touch as the investigation progresses."

"Do you put out a warrant for his arrest?" Geoff shrugged, knowing very little about the legal system.

"That's our next step this afternoon, once we get to an office. I don't suppose you'd have a photograph by any chance?" Louise asked.

Geoff sighed, "I've got video. But a photograph?" he tapped his right temple thoughtfully. You could check his office. Jackie might have one?" Geoff suggested.

"Hopefully it won't be too difficult. Well, if we can go over to the base, we'll get a brief statement from you about last night, talk to your people, and get in contact with our office to issue a warrant." Simon got to his feet, extending his hand warmly to Geoff.

"Thank-you for getting here so quickly," Geoff returned the handshake.

"No worries. I know it can be difficult in places like this. It was just good timing that we were in Broken Hill on another case." Louise nodded and walked towards the doorway.

Geoff handed Simon the manila folder. "I trust you'll ensure that this is kept secure?"

"Absolutely. We'll make a copy and get this back to you" He opened the folder and scanning through the paperwork.

"My problem is limiting the access of medical and non-medical staff to information. Now, in theory, no one would open and read a patient file without reason; but well, I'd like to think I did everything I could to protect Dr Lang's privacy."

"No, I understand completely." Simon paused, reading over the post sexual violence medical history and examination form. "Who filled this out?"

"Dr Lang," Geoff answered succinctly.

"She filled it out herself?" Detective Peters looked up in disbelief.

"She what?" Louise paced over to her colleague's side, glancing over the form with intrigue.

"She was pretty together until we got to the physical exam," Geoff answered.

"But she didn't remember any of this, this afternoon when we spoke with her." Louise frowned.

"No, the drugs we had to administer in order to be able to complete the forensic exam have caused a mild amnesia. It's not uncommon. She wasn't able to remember the assault earlier this morning. Also, due to the medication administered, she probably won't remember that she even filled that out, or have any memory of the physical exam." Geoff stated with suitable clinical detachment.

Hesitantly, Louise decided to disclose some information. "From my discussion with Dr Lang earlier, she remembered enough of it today to satisfy us that a sexual assault has taken place, and she was confident of the identity of the assailant."

"Right. Shall we head over to the base, we can organise a flight to Broken Hill." Geoff gestured towards the door.

**XxXxX**

_1505, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Ah, my favourite time of the day," Kate placed Scarlett on the floor and switched on the television. "Play School."

Jackie watched as the 12 month-old became immediately absorbed in the coloured squares that filled the screen.

"Come on, you'll get a kick out of this," Kate sat down and looked up at Jackie.

"You're not serious?" Jackie frowned, "I haven't watched Play School since I used to baby sit my younger brothers."

"Oh, it's a riot." Kate smiled.

"Maybe I should go check on Rowie?" Jackie hesitated, as they both heard the bathroom door open. "All right," Jackie shrugged and took a seat on the floor beside Scarlett.

The only noise to fill the room was the talking and then singing between the Play School presenters, as they launched into 'Miss Polly had a Dolly'.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jackie watched Rowie enter the room and take a seat on the leather couch.

Looking between her mother and Jackie, Scarlett frowned, noticing a new person in the room. Scarlett dropped back down to her hands and knees and scurried over towards Rowie.

Having been absorbed in the episode of Play School, Rowie felt something pull against her leg. Looking down, she saw Scarlett trying desperately to pull herself up onto the couch.

Kate and Jackie exchanged subtle glances, neither sure whether they should intervene.

Rowie smiled softly as Scarlett grunted and strained, and triumphantly pulled herself up onto the couch.

"Careful Row, she's a bit of a handful these days," Kate warned, watching as Scarlett pulled herself up on Rowie's right shoulder into a standing position.

Rowie felt the toddler's fingers dig into her upper arm as Scarlett struggled to maintain her balance on the couch.

"She all right?" Kate asked tentatively, alternating her gaze between Jackie and her daughter.

"It's all right," Rowie shrugged, pulling Scarlett away and settling her instead on her lap as she tried to interest the toddler back in the television show.

All three adults continued watching the show for several minutes.

"_What could I sell Miss Muffet?" Angela frowned as she approached the red door. "She was eating her curds and whey." She reached for the wooden spoon that was pegged to her striped vest. "Ah-ha, a spoon. A spoon for eating curds and whey. Hope she's home, here we go." Angela knocked on the door._

"Oh my God, he's shocking!" Jackie burst into fits of giggles as John came prancing out wearing a pink wig and carrying a giant flower.

"See? I told you this is more fun for the adults than the children!" Kate smiled, as they watched John and Angela continue to discuss the purchase of the wooden spoon.

"I don't remember there being anything like this going on when I used to watch it. Although that was over fifteen years ago now." Jackie shook her head as Angela sang through 'Jack and Jill".

"Sometimes the innuendo gets a bit much, but it goes right over the little one's heads." Kate shrugged, turning back to check on Scarlett.

"_Aww, hello. Am I speaking to Jack or Jill?" Angela continued, as John strutted through the red door, in a very masculine manner._

"_I'm Jack," he defended sharply, with a less-than-subtle glance down at his crotch._

"This is wrong!" Jackie cackled hysterically, covering her mouth with her hands as she laughed.

"Told you. I love it," Kate giggled.

Rowie had her concentration fixed between Jackie and Kate, when she felt Scarlett squirm in her lap.

"Ow!" Rowie looked down as the little girl pinched her chest sharply.

"Oh." Kate jumped to her feet. "Sorry, she's really vicious at the moment. Scarlett, _no,_" Kate reprimanded again.

"It'd be all right if she let go," Rowie managed to pry Scarlett's hand open.

"Tell me about it, I've got scratches and bruises all over me," Kate shrugged with a smile.

Taking Scarlett, Kate saw Rowie's expression drop immediately.

"You have to be gentle," Kate repeated sternly, as she placed the little girl back on the ground next to Jackie.

Both Jackie and Kate looked up only when Rowie stood and walked back towards the hallway.

Waiting until they heard the bedroom door close, Jackie and Kate exchanged worried expressions.

"Do you think she actually hurt her?" Kate frowned worriedly.

"Maybe?" Jackie shrugged. "Maybe it's just Scarlett in general." She raised an eyebrow knowingly.

Kate sighed, reflecting on their earlier conversation. "Probably starting to hit home a bit."

"Well, that's not a bad thing. With any luck she'll change her mind." Jackie got to her feet and followed after Rowie.


	10. Chapter 10 - Second Thoughts

Chapter 10 – Second Thoughts

**XxXxX**

_1545, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Thank-you, Ms Bryant," Detective Louise Hughes nodded, and got to her feet, having concluded the interview.

"Not at all. If there's anything I can do to help, anything at all." Clare insisted. "I just wish I'd done more at the time."

"Don't blame yourself," Louise insisted sharply. "These things happen so unexpectedly."

"Yes, I suppose." Clare shrugged, "How about a cup of tea, coffee?"

"No, no, I've got to be heading off." Louise reached over for the large brown padded bag containing the camera.

Crossing the room, she tapped lightly on the glass paned door.

"Sorry," she stuck her head into the room, interrupting Simon interviewing Johnno.

"I'm done, I was going to head off, get the photos done?" she suggested.

"Fine. I'll finish things up here, contact the station, get a warrant out, and then Captain Johnson and I are flying the forensics back to Broken Hill." Simon nodded.

"Are we staying tonight?" Louise asked with a shrug.

"Doesn't look like we need to at this stage. I'll go back to the pub once we get back, talk with the owners, the, ah Buckley's?" he checked his notepad. "We can head off after that."

"Fine." She glanced deliberately between the pilot and her partner before closing the door and pacing back through the base.

"Oh, ah is Dr Standish?" Louise looked around, Clare quickly pointing to the closed door behind them. "Thanks."

Geoff looked up at the knock on the door. "Come in."

"Dr Standish, I'm going back to your place. Simon is still interviewing Captain Johnson, but at this stage, we'll be out of your hair tonight. We've got everything we need and everyone has been incredibly co-operative." Louise watched as Geoff paced around from the desk and quietly closed the door.

"Good, good," he muttered thoughtfully. "Look, you're probably the best person to ask, under the circumstances. Do you happen to have any contact details that I can pass on to Dr Lang; is there a counsellor in Broken Hill or someone she can talk with over the phone.

"Taken care of. I told Dr Lang I'd get in touch in a few days with some details." Louise smiled softly.

"Excellent. Better coming from you than me, I think," Geoff spoke curtly.

"She's your only female doctor then?" Louise frowned.

Geoff nodded. "Although Sr Crane, whom you've already met, has quite a bit of training."

"Sometimes friends are too close. And given the nature of her relationship with," Louise stopped herself swiftly. "I didn't say that." She swallowed. "It's probably better all-around if we find some independent support."

"Absolutely." Geoff nodded. "Look, there are certain procedures that I need to follow as second in charge here. If a staff-member has been involved in a criminal offence, then they can be suspended pending investigation. Are you able to confirm that Dr Reid is your suspect?"

Louise looked from the closed door, back to the doctor. "I can confirm that Simon will be contacting our station and putting out a warrant for his arrest."

"Right." Geoff nodded, disappointed that his gut instinct had proved accurate. "I'll keep it to myself. It's important for everyone that this doesn't become public knowledge. Is there any way to limit the press coverage?"

"Well, fingers crossed there won't be any. At least not until he's located and arrested. Then, when the defence gets involved, it can get messy. But, we'll do our best. Everything is confidential from our end. But we can't help what the other side 'leak' to the media, I'm afraid." Louise shook her head with a defeated sigh.

"Thanks." Geoff extended his hand warmly.

"Any problems, questions, feel free to contact us." Louise returned the handshake. "I don't need to tell you this, but the first 24-48 hours are critical for the victim's personal safety, so try and keep someone with Dr Lang as much as possible." Louise frowned. "Does she have access to any medication?"

Geoff blinked several times. "Ah, there's only over-the-counter stuff at my place. Although that can often do enough damage. Her medical bag's still at the pub, isn't it?"

"Brown?" Louise checked, receiving an affirmative nod. "Still in her room."

"Well, then, I'll keep my bag in my room tonight when I'm at home. But as we both know, if someone's desperate enough," Geoff trailed.

"It's just important to limit easy opportunity for the first few days." Louise chose her words carefully. "Speaking to you as her doctor, I'm concerned that she's very detached from the events of last night. From talking earlier today, everything seemed dissociated. She didn't personalise the incident. And that combined with her apparent external coping, is a worry."

"Yes, that was my concern both last night and this morning at discharge," Geoff answered. "What's your advice?"

"Keep people with her. Is there any family?" Louise asked.

"Only her father, and a younger brother that she has contact with, to the best of my knowledge. They're not that close." Geoff shrugged.

"Well, then friends are the next best thing. Everyone's different, but in my experience it's a delicate balance between providing support and space. If in doubt, go with support. It's better early on that she get frustrated at everyone fussing around her, than be left to her own devices and find she can't cope," Louise spoke confidently.

"We'll do our best," Geoff assured.

"I'll see if I can have another word to her this afternoon anyway. With sexual assault, opening up to the people closest in your life is often the hardest. Victims tend to feel violated enough, without having to talk about it with family and friends." Louise nodded, opening the door and turning around.

"Well, let me know if there's any way I can help," Geoff answered.

"I'll speak to you again when I get back." Louise adjusted the weight of the camera bag on her shoulder and paced back towards the entrance.

**XxXxX**

_1625, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Rowie?" Jackie tapped lightly on the door.

"Yup?" she reluctantly answered.

"Detective Hughes is here. She just needs to speak with you." Jackie shrugged awkwardly.

"Is it all right if I come in?" Louise slowly opened the door.

Looking up from the bed, Rowie shrugged.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you again, Dr Lang." Louise took several steps into the room, Jackie remaining in the doorway. "Dr Standish wasn't able to obtain photographic evidence as part of the examination last night, and it's important that we have as much evidence as possible."

Quickly, Rowie looked from the padded bag on Louise's shoulder, back down to the bed.

"Do I have a choice?" Rowie frowned.

"Of course," Louise answered immediately, placing the heavy bag down on the dressing table.

"I'll, ah, give you some time." Jackie retreated back to the hallway, closing the door behind her.

"Ultimately the decision is yours," Louise repeated. "But, the more evidence we have now, the greater the chance of the DPP taking this to trial. And in turn, the greater the chance of a conviction."

"I know," Rowie sighed. "It's just so one-sided."

"Oh, don't worry, his turn will come. We're putting out a warrant for his arrest this afternoon. Hopefully by tomorrow or the next day, we'll have him in custody. Then he gets to go through pretty much what you've been through, except with a lot less sensitivity," Louise smirked lightly. "How are you feeling?" she changed the subject deliberately.

"I don't know half the time. Numb mostly." Rowie shrugged disinterestedly. "I just want to get over it."

"Well, that's going to take time. And you can't rush it, I'm afraid. But you've got good friends around you. Everyone wants to help in whatever way they can." Louise took a seat in the chair next to the double bed.

"That's the problem. I just want to be left alone. And Jackie's all but tripping over herself to keep tabs on me," Rowie answered.

"Dr Lang, that's perfectly normal. I'd be concerned if she wasn't. You know as well as anyone that it's important to have people around you," Louise replied.

"Oh sure, I _know_ it. I just had no idea how, how suffocating it feels. You just want to crawl into a cocoon, and nobody will bloody let you!" Rowie exclaimed.

"Have you been able to speak with anyone about the assault?" Louise asked tentatively.

Rowie shook her head, "The point is that I want to forget about it."

Louise paused, beginning to see exactly what Dr Standish had meant by 'strong-willed' earlier. "Look, is there someone else, anyone, we can contact for you? What about family?"

"God, no." Rowie rolled her eyes. "Dad would just use it as an excuse to start drinking. Ben and Frank would probably actually kill him."

"Well, who's your closest friend, then?" Louise shrugged, determined that she wasn't going to be dissuaded by Rowie's coldness.

"Jackie," Rowie hesitated.

"But you don't feel you can talk to her about this?" Louise cleared her throat.

"What exactly am I supposed to say? Jackie, your fiancé raped me?" Rowie cringed, looking away deliberately.

"Dr Lang, believe me, Jackie feels absolutely no alliance to Dr Reid whatsoever." With a sigh, Louise located the black notebook in her breast pocket and flicked back several pages. "Self-centred, controlling, arrogant egomaniac." They were the words she used when describing Dr Reid's character to me this morning."

"She did?" Rowie looked up.

"She did," Louise reassured. "Nobody is doubting you in this. You need to believe that. Dr Standish, Ms Bryant, everyone just wants to help you in whatever way that they can. But no-one can help you if you won't let them."

Absorbing the detective's words, Rowie glanced down to the padded camera bag on the floor.

"All right, I'll do the photos, if it will help. They're not identifiable are they?" she cringed.

"Oh, no," Louise muttered, bending down and unzipping the bag. "It's just close ups of the external injuries." Louise lifted out the camera as Rowie slowly peeled the white dressing from the side of her forehead.

"Let's just get it over with then," Rowie relented.

**XxXxX**

_1715, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"You're more than welcome to stay for dinner," Kate suggested as Jackie paced around the kitchen.

"Thanks. I'm absolutely stuffed to tell you the truth. I think I'll just head back to the pub and sleep for the next twelve hours." Jackie sighed.

"Good idea," Kate replied, taking the vegetables out of the fridge.

"Hopefully Rowie'll sleep for a while. What time is Geoff due home?" Jackie asked, crossing the room to locate her brown handbag.

"Any time. Really depends on how busy he is," Kate answered.

"Well, don't hesitate to ring if you need me overnight. I'm on a late tomorrow, so I might pop back in the morning anyway." Jackie slung the bag over her left shoulder.

"Fingers crossed there are no dramas. Any medication I need to know about?" Kate asked.

"Just antibiotics and paracetamol prn, but she's handling it all herself, so should be fine. Geoff'll probably offer her some diazepam tonight I'd expect. You could be in for an interesting night." Jackie raised an eyebrow.

"We'll see how it goes." Kate began peeling the potatoes.

"Thanks Kate." Jackie smiled weakly.

"Glad to help," Kate replied, stepping back from the sink and wiping her hands in a tea towel. "You just take care of yourself, get some sleep." She reached across to give Jackie a sincere hug.

"I'm still trying to make sense of it all." Jackie squeezed Kate's arm in gratitude.

"I can't believe it's barely twenty-four since we talked at the hospital," Kate reflected.

"Tell me about it." Jackie sighed. "I just want to know how the hell it happened, that's all. And that's the one thing she won't tell us."

Kate nodded. "It'll take a while. Look after yourself, okay?" Kate squeezed Jackie's shoulder.

"We'll see," Jackie shrugged.

Kate watched silently as Jackie turned and walked up the corridor towards the front door.

**XxXxX**

_1805, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Pretty quiet day all things considered," Johnno rested his flight bag on his shoulder as Clare locked the glass door to the base.

"Well, after last night, can't say I would have had the stamina for anything more demanding. Geoff's got a busy few days ahead of him though." Clare turned and began walking with Johnno back towards the hotel.

"Hmm. Still can't get my head around it." Johnno sighed, slowing his pace.

"Yes, it's hard to believe things like that can happen out here. Although where Guy's concerned, nothing really shocks me," Clare observed.

"You can say that again. Didn't peg him as doing something like this though." Johnno frowned, memories flashing through his mind.

"No, well, you don't ever think someone you know is capable of doing something so awful. I know it's no comparison, but I couldn't believe it the night that Hercules told me he was planning to skip town with everyone's money. You think you know someone, and," Clare trailed off.

"I never took to Guy." Johnno shook his head. "He was so full of himself, and he certainly didn't make Rowie's life any easier after he took over from Geoff. Can't even begin to imagine what Row must be going through. I can't even talk to her." Johnno kicked a stone out of the way as they both walked side-by-side along the pavement in silence.

"She called off the wedding, didn't she?" Clare asked tentatively, having had her suspicions for months.

"Where'd that come from, Clare?" Johnno frowned. After a moment, Johnno reluctantly shrugged to the affirmative. "Yeah. Something to do with not being able to compromise herself, or something. Didn't make much sense to me, but it certainly didn't change my feelings towards her," he admitted.

"Well, she's going to need our support, that much I know. And you probably know her as well as anyone," Clare speculated.

"Thought I did. She's never really opened up to anyone, Clare. Row doesn't trust people easily, I think it's because of how bad her childhood was." Johnno thought back over the last in-depth conversation he'd had with Rowie.

"How bad are we talking? Abuse?" Clare considered.

"I dunno. Don't think so. Neglect mainly," Johnno answered.

"I know she's been unhappy for months." Clare shook her head.

"Be interesting now Guy's out of the picture," Johnno continued.

Exhaling tiredly, Clare looked up as they drew closer to the pub. "I still can't quite believe it. Keep expecting to wake up from some collective nightmare we're all experiencing."

"Yeah." Johnno brought his arm around her shoulders.

"How does personal infraction get to this point, though?" she sighed.

"Come on, Clare. Guy wasn't the most stable of individuals. He cheats, he drinks, he's got an ego the size of Ayres Rock."

"That's true enough." Clare reached for the door handle, and stepped into the Saloon.

Johnno followed Clare into the pub, meeting eyes with Vic.

Nancy rushed over to Clare's side.

"Oh Clare, you look exhausted." Nancy brushed her arm softly. "Come on through to the kitchen, I'll get you a cup of tea."

Johnno and Vic watched the women disappear.

"You all right, mate?" Vic spoke, pouring a whiskey and placing it in front of Johnno.

"Hangin' in there I reckon." He glanced down at the drink. "Better not, Vic. If we get an emergency overnight, it'll be going to Broken Hill or Sydney."

"The coppers have a word to you?" Vic asked, taking several quick sips of the whiskey himself.

"Yeah, yeah." Johnno glanced around them, feeling uneasy discussing the situation in the middle of the pub. "Listen, ah, gonna go upstairs, get a bit of sleep. Thanks mate." Johnno nodded, and headed towards the stairs.

**XxXxX**

_1820, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"How do you know when she's had enough?" Rowie watched as Scarlett took another mouthful of the mashed vegetables.

"She'll start blowing raspberries with it." Kate looked up from the stove.

"She'll what?" Rowie frowned, wiping Scarlett's mouth with the spoon.

"You'll see." Kate smiled, as she heard the front door open.

"Hello?" Geoff called, coming through into the kitchen.

"Hi darling," Kate replied, stepping back from the stove to give him a kiss and hug. "How was your day?"

Geoff sighed as he placed his medical bag on the floor by the doorway. "Pretty quiet actually. How's everything here?" He changed the subject quickly.

"Oh, we're all fine," Kate answered, as Geoff moved across to the high chair to give Scarlett a kiss.

"Are you enjoying your dinner?" he tickled her cheek, turning to Rowie. "How you feeling?"

"Getting there." Rowie offered Scarlett another spoonful of vegetables.

"Geoff, can you watch the schnitzels, I'm going to run Scarlett's bath." Kate left the room quickly.

"Sure," he called, pacing back towards the kitchen.

Just as Kate left the room, Scarlett let out a loud squeal of protest, spitting out the mashed vegetables that had been in her mouth.

"Right, think we've had enough." Rowie wiped the toddler's mouth and hands with the face washer, before lifting her from the high chair and carrying her over to the kitchen.

"Sorry, this place is a mad house in the evenings," Geoff apologised, taking Scarlett from Rowie.

"It's a welcome distraction to be honest. So, come on, what went on today?" Rowie moved quickly over to the stove to turn the schnitzels in the frying pan.

"Nothing you don't already know I'd imagine. The detectives interviewed everyone, Johnno flew the forensics down to Broken Hill, and there's a warrant out for his arrest." Geoff bounced Scarlett on his hip.

"What about head office? Kate said we're non-operational?" Rowie brought her hands to her hips.

"Yeah, well. I've spoken with Jim, and they're going to try and get a replacement doctor by Monday. Don't worry about it though. We'll manage." Geoff nodded with a soft smile.

"Geoff, I'll be fine to work by Monday. Really," Rowie answered immediately.

"Don't you even think about it. You should still be in a hospital bed." He shook his head.

Rowie looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know if I made the right decision, Geoff."

"About?" Geoff patted Scarlett's back several times.

"I hardly remember anything that happened in hospital. You offered me the standard regimen, didn't you?" Rowie speculated.

"Jackie said she talked about it with you last night and then we discussed it again at discharge this morning," Geoff replied, careful to keep his voice neutral.

"And I refused?" Rowie frowned.

Geoff shrugged, "You were overwhelmed. Second thoughts?"

"Maybe," Rowie replied quietly.

"Thought you might. I brought tablets home with me." Geoff glanced over towards his medical bag.

Rowie shook her head, with a slightly cynical laugh, "You know, I spent nearly two hours in the cafe at uni on day arguing the ethical implications of emergency contraception with a group of friends. I took the same view as two of the male students; that any form of intervention which impacts upon implantation or sustainment of the blastocyst, constituted medical abortion. My best friend Cathy disagreed. She's married with three kids now." Rowie sighed.

Geoff nodded thoughtfully.

"It was so black and white back then; so obvious. I always imagined it happening walking alone a dark street late at night. And even then, I suppose, I had a more fatalistic approach; if it happened, it happened, and I'd deal with it." Rowie looked away uncomfortably.

"Just take it slowly for a few days, see how you feel, all right? We can talk things through later tonight." Geoff kept his voice evenly-paced.

"What do you want to do about work?" Geoff remembered their conversation from the previous day. "I haven't formalised your resignation, yet."

"I just want things to go back to normal," Rowie answered immediately.

"Sure." Geoff shrugged, unconvinced, but remaining non-judgemental.

"Well, everything's ready here." Rowie turned down the hot plate. "I'll go check with Kate."


	11. Chapter 11 - House Call

Chapter 11 - Revelation

**XxXxX**

_2045, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"Knock knock?" Geoff stood by the ajar door.

"Yep?" Rowie looked up, as Geoff stepped into the room.

"House call." He smiled softly. "Would you prefer the door open or closed?"

"Closed is fine." Rowie shrugged. "Sorry I wasn't much company at dinner."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You've survived a huge trauma in the last 24 hours." Geoff opened his medical bag on the edge of the bed.

Rowie sighed. "You must be exhausted, Geoff."

"I'll live," he shrugged. "Quick set of obs and we'll go through the Yuzpe. Some Maxolon mightn't hurt either." Geoff suggested, glancing back over at Rowie. "All right?"

Quietly, she nodded. "Geoff, what do you think?"

Geoff paused, seeing the perplexed expression on his colleague's face.

"I think that it's you who has to face the consequences, and that you know what you could cope with. There's no right or wrong decision in this, Rowie," Geoff answered honestly and non-judgementally.

"Either way, it's potentially life-changing, and I'll never know." She shook her head.

"When is your next period due?" Geoff thought it prudent to consider the actual risk.

Rowie frowned, trying to think. "A week or so?"

Geoff knew Rowie was all-too capable of doing the maths herself. "Better to be safe than sorry, perhaps? But it is completely up to you, and no-one besides us will know either way."

"But if this goes to trial, won't medical records," Rowie looked up as Geoff cut her off.

"No," Geoff interjected sharply. "Only the forensic records are available to the police. Your notes are confidential."

"This is difficult enough," she muttered under her breath, before shaking her head decisively and looking back up at Geoff. "I don't want to have any regrets about this in a month's time." Rowie nodded.

"You're sure?" Geoff got to his feet, and opened his medical bag.

"Let's just get it over with." Rowie sighed.

"Some Maxolon to start with?" Geoff suggested.

"Yeah, with my luck." Rowie nodded.

"Okay." He handed her the two white Maxolon tablets.

Rowie reached for the glass of water on the bedside table. "The antibiotics make me dry retch, I dread to think what a massive dose of oestrogen and progesterone are going to do." Rowie rolled her eyes as she swallowed the medication.

"All right, so a quick set of obs first, by that time the Maxolon should have kicked in." Geoff watched as Rowie unbuttoned the cuff on her right wrist and pushed up the sleeve of her blouse.

**XxXxX**

_2050, Thursday, 19/3/92_

Closing the door from the kitchen into the hallway, Geoff poured a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

"Everything all right?" Kate looked up from the book she was reading.

Bringing his cup of coffee over with him, Geoff collapsed onto the couch, rubbing his eyes with fatigue. "She's had ten megs diazepam, so hopefully she'll be able to sleep."

"Has she told you any more about last night?" Kate turned the page down on the book and placed in on the coffee table.

Shaking his head, Geoff took a sip of his coffee. "You're as bad as Jackie. Leave the woman alone. She'll talk about it when she's ready."

"Geoff, you were in there for over half an hour," Kate exclaimed.

"Had to do obs, discuss a few things," Geoff trailed off, surprised at his wife's insistence on the details.

"Like what?" Kate frowned.

Geoff rolled his eyes and got up from the couch. "You know better than to ask me that."

"Oh, you're not kidding?" Kate got to her feet.

"I need to get some sleep." Geoff crossed the room to the kitchen and rinsed out the cup.

"Yeah, well, maybe if you'd told me the truth from the start, this whole nightmare could have been avoided," Kate retorted angrily, as she switched off the lamp and followed Geoff down towards their bedroom.

Waiting until she'd closed the door behind them, Geoff turned around. "That's ridiculous!"

"Is it? I _knew_ there was a reason I didn't trust Guy. And Jackie told me yesterday that he'd been cheating on her. So, if all of this had come out sooner, Jackie wouldn't have proposed to him. And if Jackie hadn't of proposed to him," Kate was left with her jaw dropped as Geoff spoke over her with a seething tone, not loud in volume, but forceful with intent.

"Kate, _stop it._ Now this is out of control. Whatever Jackie did or didn't do, doesn't excuse Guy's actions. And even if she hadn't proposed to him, she probably still would have dumped him when she realised he'd been cheating on her." Geoff changed into his pyjamas and pulled back the quilt.

"Who was he having an affair with?" Kate narrowed her eyes, her hands going to her hips as she stood determinedly by her side of the bed.

"I can't tell you, Kate. She doesn't want you to know." Geoff sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Oh Geoff, this is stupid. About the only woman under thirty that Guy _hasn't_ slept with in this town is Penny." Kate sighed in frustration. "_Penny_?" Kate baulked.

Geoff shrugged.

"Well, how long? I mean, she and Steve," Kate trailed off.

"Since Christmas, not that long," Geoff reluctantly acknowledged.

"How long have you known about this? Kate demanded, pulling her nightie on and getting into bed beside him.

"A few weeks. It was only a suspicion until yesterday. When I finally had the chance to discuss it with her." Geoff frowned, feeling as though his conversation with Penny had been a week ago, not a mere twenty-four hours ago.

"How did it all boil over in the space of one afternoon?" Kate sighed, dismayed.

"Who knows? I'm the only one that knows about Guy cheating on Jackie. And I certainly didn't tell anyone." Geoff shrugged.

"Do you think Rowie's going to be okay over night?" Kate changed the subject.

Tossing his hands up into the air, Geoff made himself comfortable against the pillows. "Just have to play it by ear." He paused. "With the diazepam on board again she should at least get to sleep all right."

"Aren't you worried about her?" Kate asked hesitantly.

"No," Geoff answered quickly. "She's doing pretty well, all things considered. Making rational decisions. I think the rest will just come with a bit of time and patience."

"Hmm." Kate turned off the bedside light and rolled over onto her right side. "Jackie's worried about the emergency contraception refusal."

"Jackie had no right to tell you that." Geoff shook his head.

"Well, for what it's worth, strictly speaking she didn't tell me. She asked what I would do, and I guessed the rest," Kate answered.

Frowning, Geoff was momentarily caught off guard. "What would you do?"

"You have to ask?" Kate frowned. "Geoff, there's no way. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Would you support that?"

"I don't want to talk about something like this happening to you. Good night." Geoff rolled over, thoroughly exhausted and overwhelmed by petty details.

"Well, would you?" Kate pressed, for the first time considering that they may have differing opinions.

With a sigh, Geoff lifted his head from the pillow. "As far as I see it, it would be your decision. But it would depend on a lot of factors, wouldn't it?"

"Not really." Kate frowned. "I don't think I could bring myself to do something that would destroy a human life."

"Can we just stop with the moral judgements? We all do what we can cope with at the time. Now, as far as I'm concerned, every woman is entitled to make her own decision, without being made to feel guilty one way or the other. Just leave her alone." Geoff sighed.

"I haven't so much as spoken to her about it, Geoff. Jackie was the one who came to me. We're just trying to help," Kate defended.

Touching his wife's arm lightly, Geoff paused. "I know. I know it's hard to keep emotions out of this. But trust me, it makes it a lot easier."

"Well, I'm sorry I can't be as clinical as you," Kate spoke sharply. "Geoff, you're treating her as if she just tripped down the stairs or something!"

"I'm treating her the same as I always have," Geoff answered immediately.

"Exactly." Kate sat back up in bed. "But she's not the same."

"She's the same person she was two days ago. You can't lose sight of that. I seem to recall someone in this room kicking and screaming when they thought they were going to end up in a hospital bed after a battery blew up in their face?" Geoff challenged.

"That was different," Kate answered.

"Not really. You went through a trauma that had the potential to significantly alter your life. You refused any and all help, and resented the slightest notion that you were burdening us whilst you recovered from it. Sound familiar?" Geoff looked up at the bedroom ceiling.

"Was I really that bad?" Kate cringed.

"Yes!" Geoff answered sharply. "Now please, will you let me get some sleep?"

"I'm sorry, hun. All right, I'll try a new approach tomorrow." Kate nodded.

"Don't try any approach. Just forget about last night, and treat Rowie the same way you always have. Good night." Geoff rolled back over and buried his head in the pillow.

"Night," Kate muttered before turning back in the opposite direction and closing her eyes.

**XxXxX**

_2135, Thursday, 19/3/92_

"I can't thank you enough, Clare." Nancy touched her shoulder as the two women arrived at the top of the stairs and started walking down the corridor.

"It's fine, Nancy. This must be very difficult." Clare sighed as they arrived outside Rowie's room and Nancy unlocked the door.

"The police said they're finished, so I just want to clean things up a bit." Nancy opened the door and they both stepped inside the room.

"Well, it certainly looks better than this morning." Clare glanced around the room.

"Oh, thank heavens. Just the thought of having to see all that blood again made me feel ill." Nancy shook her head. "Shall we start moving clothes and things?" Nancy opened the wardrobe slowly.

"Which room are you moving her too?" Clare asked suspiciously.

"Nine. Vic said he'll spruce it up a bit tomorrow," Nancy muttered.

"How's he coping?" Clare asked.

"Men don't talk about these things, do they? He's keeping all to himself, poor love." Nancy shook her head.

"I think it's just the generations, Nancy. Steve has no problems at all talking about it," Clare groaned, remembering their argument that morning. "Not that he believes it, of course. They sure do stick together."

"Well, I'd keep Steve away from Vic if I were you." Nancy warned, emptying the wardrobe and waiting until Clare had picked up a pile of clothes before heading back towards the hallway.

"Just so long as we keep this whole mess away from the gossips." Clare followed behind Nancy as they headed to the other room.

**XxXxX**

_0115, Friday, 20/3/92_

Kate felt herself pulled from sleep by the high-pitched shriek. Wearily rolling to the edge of the bed, she opened her eyes, just as the sound increased in volume.

As sleep melded into semi-consciousness, Kate realised the noise wasn't Scarlett.

"Geoff!" she called, pulling on his arm sharply. "It's Rowie."

"Huh?" Geoff mumbled, as Kate ran from the room.

Reaching for his dressing gown, he followed after her.

As she arrived into the spare room, Kate spotted Rowie sitting on the edge of the bed, her right hand against her forehead, sobbing.

"It's all right," Kate rushed to the side of the bed, watching as Rowie gasped for breaths between sobs. "Sweetheart, it's Kate." She touched her right shoulder gingerly.

Geoff hovered in the doorway, seeing the difficulty in which she was having breathing.

"Are you all right?" Geoff stepped into the room.

Flexing the fingers on her right hand, Rowie shook her head. She looked up desperately as Geoff crossed the room and knelt down by the edge of the bed.

"It's going to be all right." Geoff reached for her left wrist to take her pulse.

Immediately, she pulled away sharply from the physical contact.

"Breathe deeply; try and relax." Geoff frowned, seeing her hands trembling in her lap.

"I, I can't," Rowie swallowed, feeling her jaw clench tightly.

"Can I check your pulse? Would that be all right?" Geoff asked hesitantly, waiting patiently for eye contact.

After several seconds, Rowie nodded, tentatively extending her right arm.

"What's happening?" Rowie pleaded, feeling panic couple with indescribable fatigue. "My eyes keep dropping closed but then I suddenly feel agitated and I'm wide awake again."

"It's going to be all right, I promise. You're safe here." Geoff studied her dilated pupils.

Kate looked up at the unmistakable sound of Scarlett's crying.

"Sorry." Kate stood and left the room.

"Were you having a nightmare?" Geoff asked, checking her pulse rate once again.

"I, I can't remember." Rowie looked slowly around the room.

"Do you know where you are now?" he continued.

Nervously, she drew several heavy breaths.

"You're at Kate and my place. It's all right," Geoff reassured.

He paused, with a concerned frown. "Rowie, look at me. Have you taken anything else?" Geoff demanded, seeing only the blister packets of oral contraceptives on the bedside table.

Vehemently, she shook her head. "What's wrong with me?"

"Benzo toxicity, I think." Geoff kept his voice low. "Damn," Geoff muttered, finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together. "Rowie, I'm sorry. I completely forgot about the possible interaction between the EC and the diazepam. And you could still have last night's midazolam in your system." Geoff sighed, touching her shoulder.

"As long as I'm not having a heart attack." She felt her pulse again.

"Any chest pain?" Geoff doubled-checked, receiving a quick shrug to the negative. "You're going to be fine. It'll just take a few hours to metabolise. Any nausea?"

"No," she replied immediately. "I, I just feel really on edge. Confused, shaky."

Geoff nodded, taking a seat in the chair beside the bed. "Anything I can get you? Cup of tea?" he offered.

Rowie shook her head, deep in thought.

Geoff watched the mixture of emotions play across Rowie's face, as she tried to put the sequences of events into words.

"It was Guy," Rowie eventually spoke, barely loud enough to catch Geoff's attention.

Geoff nodded slowly, deliberately not speaking.

"Did you know he'd been cheating on Jackie?" she looked up hesitantly.

"Yes," Geoff answered quickly, surprised that Rowie was aware of the situation. "With Penny. He's been having an affair with her for a few months." Geoff answered

"You knew all along?" Rowie swallowed away the tears that had collected in her throat.

"I didn't know that anyone else knew," Geoff replied quickly.

"I found out about two weeks ago." Rowie paused, thinking through the conversation they'd had in the hallway of the hospital. "He didn't care, Geoff. I mean, he didn't care that he was hurting either of them."

"I know," Geoff answered, never having expected that he was going to be the one to hear of the events firsthand.

The room dropped into silence, Geoff clasping his hands against his right knee as he waited.

"It was my fault. I goaded him about it." Rowie felt her voice thicken with tears, "I was in my room reading, when he came in. He didn't knock, nothing; I just heard the door slam closed. As soon as he came into my room, I knew he'd had too much to drink."

"_You had to tell her? You had to bloody tell her!" Guy felt his voice rise with anger. "Couldn't keep your big mouth shut as usual. Just had to get back at me, didn't you?"_

_Rowie looked up in response to the noise, dropping both the book and the apple she was eating in surprise._

"_Excuse me, Guy! I did not tell Jackie." Rowie frowned, flicking her gaze between each of his cold, bleary eyes._

"_Oh, come off it, you're the only person who knows! What's the matter, Rowie, jealous?" Guy grinned, as Rowie moved to the edge of the bed and got to her feet._

"_Over you? Not in a million years," Rowie couldn't resist a mocking chuckle as she crossed the room. "You really are that full of yourself, aren't you?" Rowie rolled her eyes. "Get out of here, Guy!"_

_Tightening his jaw, Guy shook his head, "I don't think so. I've had enough of you thinking you can tell me what to do."_

Geoff rested his hand against his chin, beginning to see exactly how the events would have escalated from that point.

"I wasn't going to get into an argument with him, so I just walked towards the door. He moved, so that he was blocking me, and he just had this smirk on his face. As I tried to push past him, I felt him shove me backwards." Rowie shook her head, "I grew up with five older brothers, Geoff. I can take being pushed around."

"_If you're trying to intimidate me, don't bother. You need to leave." Rowie reluctantly took a step backwards, having no other option as Guy moved closer into her personal space._

_The over-confident smile broadened on Guy's face as he raised one eyebrow surreptitiously. "And I know exactly what you need."_

"Before I could even react, he was kissing me." Rowie shook her head in disbelief. "It took me a few seconds to actually realise what was happening. I tried to pull away, but he had me by the upper arms. I didn't even know I was moving backwards until I felt the edge of the bed against the back of my legs. I struggled, and the next thing I knew I was on the bed." Rowie blinked several times, fighting the surfacing feelings of anger.

"I couldn't think. Half of me couldn't believe what was happening; the other half was blinded by fury." Rowie paused, momentarily reliving the previous events.

Rowie looked down at her clasped hands as she tried to remember the sequence of events more clearly.

"You don't have to do this now, if you don't want to?" Geoff offered.

"I'm sorry about this morning at the hospital. I didn't handle this very well," Rowie muttered.

"Hey, you did fine," he reassured softly.

"It took me this long to get past the humiliation," she sighed.

Geoff leaned forwards, just enough to get her full attention. "You have nothing to feel humiliated about, okay?"

Locking eyes with Geoff for several moments, Rowie eventually nodded weakly and brought her gaze back to her hands.

"I didn't want to overreact, you know? I kept expecting him to stop. When he pushed me, I thought that would be it. Even when he'd kissed me, I thought he'd laugh it off and leave. It was just as I went to sit up, that I felt his hands on my shoulders.

"_Guy, you're drunk. Now let me go." Rowie tried to squirm from his grasp._

_With an over-confident laugh, he positioned himself on the bed over her. Quickly, he started undoing the top buttons of her pale blue blouse. "But we're having so much fun."_

"I couldn't get over what was actually happening in time to react. I asked what he thought he was doing, I struggled. He slapped me across the face. It stunned me long enough for him to grab both my wrists and hold them above my head, so that I couldn't do anything. Then he started kissing me again. Every time I tried to make a sound it was muffled by his mouth. I tried to call for help, I tried to free my hands from his grasp. But I couldn't. There was nothing I could do." Rowie frowned, turning her head. "And that's what he enjoyed the most."

Geoff waited quietly, watching as Rowie tried to put the following events into words.

Shaking her head in disbelief, she eventually spoke.

"He was aroused. I kept telling myself to stay calm. That he was just trying to scare me. That it was part of some power play. I knew the worst thing I could do was fight back, because that is exactly what he'd expect me to do. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking I was taking it seriously. I thought that if I just stayed still, stopped resisting; he'd know that he'd won. Everything went quiet; and I realised his hand wasn't around my wrists anymore. Just as I moved my arm down, I felt him push up my skirt. That's when I reacted. I tried to push him away, I tried to pull his hand from my mouth."

She paused, not able to remember what happened immediately after that moment.

"I remember hearing him unzipping his jeans. But I couldn't move. I felt his knees pressing into my thighs, and I realised I couldn't move because he was on top of me."

_As she felt his fingers against her, she was no longer sure whether the feelings of anger still surpassed those of helplessness._

"_Finally shut you up, didn't I?" He smiled._

_Guy slowly trailed his hand down her neck, stopping on her breast. "Well, there's one thing I've always liked about you," he chuckled, squeezing her right breast roughly._

_Drawing a long enjoyable breath, Guy reached down and moved himself closer to her. Squeezing her breast harder, he felt his arousal intensify. He knew he wanted her._

_As she felt him against her, Rowie squirmed more desperately._

"I couldn't scream, I couldn't move. He had won." The tears trickled down her cheeks, "I couldn't stop crying, Geoff. The entire time. I hate myself for that. I actually couldn't stop crying long enough to scream, or even to beg him to stop."

"What happened then?" Geoff spoke quietly, studying the agonised expression on her face.

Rowie shook her head, "I don't remember the end. I don't think I lost consciousness, but I must have if I don't remember him leaving. I just remember opening my eyes, and I was alone. I laid there for at least an hour, in complete disbelief, before I eventually sat up. I remember trying to button up my blouse. There was blood on the bedspread, on me, and I knew I was hurt. I heard Johnno and Steve talking out in the corridor. I couldn't believe what had actually happened. I didn't know what to do. I was embarrassed, shocked. I just sat there crying, until Jackie found me."

Slowly, Geoff nodded. "I'm sorry. I should have done something sooner." He frowned, thinking back over all the warning signs that had been apparent over the previous months.

Rowie shrugged. "I shouldn't have taunted him."

"Rowie, you know as well as I do, there is no excuse for this. There's nothing that in any way makes this your fault, okay?" Geoff spoke as sternly as he could.

"Yeah, I know the legal arguments, Geoff. It's not that." Rowie shook her head in reflection. "I'm too aggressive, but, I never thought," she clenched her jaw, trying to hold back the tears. "I never thought I'd actually lose control."

Geoff stood from the chair and took a seat on the side of the bed, tentatively placing a hand on Rowie's back, not expecting her to turn and drop her head forwards onto his shoulder as she continued crying.

"You're going to be all right, you will be." Geoff brought his hand around her back, not knowing what else to say as he felt her tears seep into the shoulder of his pyjamas.

As fragments of Rowie's disclosure echoed over in Geoff's head, he heard her sobs abate, and felt her lift her head from his shoulder.

"Geoff, I'm sorry." Rowie pulled back self-consciously.

"It's fine," Geoff shook his head. "I was more worried when you wouldn't talk, to be honest. How are you feeling now?" he asked carefully.

"Better." Rowie nodded. "Although I think I preferred it when I couldn't remember." She glanced up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh.

"How are you feeling physically?" Geoff rephrased the question deliberately.

Blinking several times, Rowie considered his question. "Exhausted, which is a welcome change."

"You'll be okay overnight?" Geoff got to his feet.

Wearily, Rowie nodded. "I'm sorry I woke Scarlett."

"Nah, she wakes for a feed anyway, and she goes right back to sleep." Geoff dismissed immediately, gesturing to the lamp on the bedside table. "On, off?"

Settling herself back under the quilt, Rowie considered his question. "Ah, off, thanks."

"Now, we're right down the hall if you need anything, anytime. I mean it." Geoff waited until he saw her nod in acknowledgement before flicking the switch on the lamp.

"Thanks," Rowie muttered quietly.


	12. Chapter 12 - A Hypothetical

Chapter 12 – A Hypothetical

Closing the door to the spare room, Geoff looked up in surprise, not expecting to see Kate standing out in the hallway in front of Scarlett's closed door.

Frowning, he gestured for her to follow him back towards their bedroom.

"How long have you been there?" Geoff sighed.

"Long enough," Kate replied.

Closing the door to their bedroom, Geoff turned around to his wife. "You were eavesdropping?"

Dropping her mouth open in surprise, Kate felt her defences rise. "Excuse me, I came out from feeding Scarlett, and I'm met with a barrage of crying. I didn't know if you were still in the room until I heard you talking."

"Sorry," Geoff apologised quickly. "I've still got all that stuff going around in my head. Not nice pictures, you know?" Geoff rubbed his eyes, as he got back into bed.

Mouth open, Kate waited intently for him to continue. "And?" Kate pressed, getting into bed beside him.

Geoff pulled up the quilt, with a disturbed sigh. "And what?" Geoff frowned.

"Was it Guy?" she rolled over, trying to gauge Geoff's reaction.

"Yeah." Geoff shook his head and tried to put the events of that evening from his mind.

"I don't understand, Geoff. Why would he do that?" Kate pressed, having no intentions of going to sleep.

"How should I know? He was drunk, they got into an argument, one thing led to another," Geoff buried his head into the pillow.

"One thing led to another? Geoff, he raped her!" Kate baulked at her husband's seeming disinterest.

"Kate, I've spent the last half-hour hearing the first-hand account of a colleague's sexual assault at the hands of another colleague, the last thing I want to do now is keep talking about it. I shouldn't have let it come to this." Geoff yawned.

"And I thought warning Jackie was the right thing to do." Kate shook her head. "Talk about just making everything worse. I warned the wrong person."

"Kate, it was just a culmination of events," Geoff answered.

"But if I hadn't warned Jackie, she wouldn't have withdrawn the proposal; and if she hadn't withdrawn the proposal,"

"What is it with all you women!" Geoff threw his arms up in utter despair. "I've got Rowie in there saying it was her fault for taunting Guy about Jackie dumping him; Jackie saying it was _her_ fault for dumping him; and you saying it was your fault, for encouraging Jackie to dump him!"

"What a mess," Kate acknowledged.

"Hmm. It's hard to believe someone you think you know is capable of such a repugnant act." Geoff shook his head, still not quite managing to banish the images from his mind.

"Well, he was always pretty conceited," Kate challenged.

"Damn it, I knew he was wound too tight." Geoff remembered the comments Guy had made several weeks ago. "A couple of times I tried talking with him, he was so defensive," Geoff reflected.

"What, about Rowie?" Kate continued.

"About the job in general. He seemed to be threatened by any notion that he wasn't performing flawlessly. Chief Medical Officer is a bloody hard job even with my experience. Long hours, paperwork, petty details. People problems are just another hassle that you avoid at all cost." Geoff clasped his hands together behind his head.

"We've had this conversation not that long ago." Kate sighed. "I asked you if it was professional rivalry."

"Hmm," Geoff acknowledged. "For a while I thought Rowie was threatened by Guy. But I'm beginning to think it was the other way around." Geoff stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Guy was threatened by Rowie?" Kate suggested.

"Well, that's how it seems in hindsight. It would certainly explain him doing everything he could to get rid of her. But why? He had all the seniority," Geoff trailed off.

"Maybe he was worried he wasn't going to keep it?" Kate frowned. "Oh my God," Kate paused. "You said Guy found out you knew that he'd tried to have Rowie transferred. And that had failed. Did Guy know that you knew he was cheating on Jackie?" Kate tried to fit the events of the past few weeks together.

"No," Geoff hesitated, "but I just found out that Rowie knew. And Guy knew that she knew."

"Then, that's it." Kate covered her mouth with her hand. "He probably thought that _Rowie_ told Jackie that he was cheating on her." Kate rolled her eyes.

"Why would he care?" Geoff frowned.

"Power; control. Don't you see? You knew about the transfer request, Rowie knew about the infidelity. He probably thought he was going to lose everything. And Jackie dumping him only hours earlier would have been the final straw." Kate narrowed her eyes. "It wouldn't have taken much to push him over the edge, Geoff."

"Like a bit of taunting?" Geoff suggested as innocently as possible.

"Oh, she didn't?" Kate sighed.

"She did," Geoff muttered. "Not that it makes any difference, but she's in there feeling as though she brought the entire attack on herself."

"It's not her fault, Geoff." Kate switched out the bedside light.

"You don't have to tell me that." Geoff moved his head from either side of the pillow, trying to get comfortable.

"Do you think she'll sleep all right?" Kate snuggled up next to Geoff.

"She was pretty exhausted, so fingers crossed," he answered, letting his eyes drop closed.

"Hun? It's strange that she chose you to confide in, don't you think?" Kate speculated.

"Oh, I don't know. We've always gotten along pretty well. No game-playing." Geoff paused. "She probably chose me because she knew I wouldn't smother her with sympathy. She doesn't want that. Doctors are a clinical bunch. Bodies are bodies, cause and effect, black and white. She just needed to tell someone what happened, without all the emotional melodrama that accompanies sexual assault."

"Geoff, it's not that simple though. It's not black and white," Kate retorted.

"Look, it's only a start, Katie." Geoff rolled on to his right side. "Let her get back on her feet physically and mentally. You know firsthand, doctors make the worst patients. We don't like to feel vulnerable. We're the last to say we're ill, and we're notoriously guilty of self-diagnosis and self-treatment. I'm just glad she's told us anything at all. You know, if it wasn't for Jackie finding her when she did, I doubt we'd know anything ever happened."

"Thank God for Jackie, then." Kate shrugged.

"So will you just let Rowie manage this in whatever way she can for the time being? If she wants to act like nothing has happened, fine." Geoff brushed his wife's arm.

"All right," Kate agreed, although not convinced.

"Night," Geoff murmured.

**XxXxX**

_0925, Friday, 20/3/92_

_One Day Later_

Geoff looked up from his desk as Johnno paced into the room carrying a cup of coffee.

"You look like you could use it," Johnno offered.

"Thanks, mate." Geoff gratefully took the mug. "How you going?"

"Nothin' I can do, is there?" Johnno collapsed into the green chair in front of Geoff's desk. "Look, I feel stupid hanging around here. I mean, it's not like we can take any calls, is it?"

"Feel like a few days off?" Geoff suggested.

"Nah, nah." Johnno shrugged. "Was thinking more of heading out to your place, see how Row is."

"Well, it's up to you, mate." Geoff nodded as Johnno stood from the chair.

"You think it's a bad idea?" Johnno hesitated, sitting back down.

"No, just well, it's been a long night. Go out there, have a cuppa. Don't go out there with the intention of interrogating her." Geoff spoke directly.

"I know better than that," Johnno answered quickly.

"Well, that makes a change. Try telling that to Kate and Jackie." Geoff shook his head hopelessly.

"Row's different. She's not going to respond to tea and tissues, Geoff," Johnno commented.

"Exactly. We're an odd breed. We see so much pain and suffering every day that we develop this shell. Nurses, well, they don't have to amputate a farmer's arm to save his life, or tell the parents of a five year-old that their child has inoperable cancer. They get to provide the nurturing, the care. We don't have that luxury. And for some reason, it numbs us to our own humanness. When I had that hydraulic fluid infection, I think almost right up until the point I lost consciousness, I was trying to downplay the whole situation. Because things could have always been worse. We get so used to minimising everything, that it's the only way we can cope." Geoff looked up as Johnno took in the explanation.

"And I thought it was just Rowie." Johnno shrugged.

"Oh no." Geoff smiled. "It's probably just more obvious in female doctors. You remember what Magda was like, don't you?" Geoff thought back over Chris and Magda.

Johnno grinned. "She makes Rowie seem subdued."

"Chris was pretty stoical too." Geoff smiled fondly. "She kept a major heart condition from us for months." He shook his head in reflection.

"Before my time," Johnno muttered.

Geoff sipped his coffee. "Anyway, I think Rowie'll be fine. I said to Kate last night, just give her some time to get back on her feet, and she'll deal with it."

"Message received." Johnno got to his feet with a confused frown. "I'll leave it til tomorrow."

"Good call, mate. The sooner everyone stops talking about this, the better." Geoff tapped his fingers on the edge of the desk.

"Don't look at me, Geoff. I don't wanna think about it, let alone talk about it." Johnno sighed.

Both looked down at the phone on Geoff's desk that had started ringing.

"Thanks, Geoff," Johnno nodded and left the room as Geoff answered the phone.

"Geoff Standish," he spoke slowly, hearing Jim's gruff voice start talking even before he'd finished answering.

"Just an update; Broken Hill have contacted me that their aircraft has to go in for maintenance tomorrow. Is there any way you guys can be on standby?"

"Jim, which part of 'I'm it', don't you understand?" Geoff rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"So Reid still hasn't shown up?" Jim muttered.

"No, and even if he did, he's suspended pending a police investigation," Geoff phrased awkwardly.

"He's what!" Jim bellowed, "What the hell is going on down there, Standish?"

"I can't talk about it, Jim. But those are the facts. You need to consider us non-operational until we get a replacement doctor," Geoff asserted, having almost had enough of Jim Anderson's bullying tactics.

"Well, what's the story with Dr Lang?" Geoff's superior continued.

"She's on sick leave until further notice," Geoff answered sharply.

"Has this got something to do with Dr Reid?" Jim put two and two together quickly.

"I'm really not at liberty to say, Jim." Geoff cleared his throat, looking out to see Clare sipping a cup of tea by the radio.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean? Head office have known about your staffing issues for months now. Am I meant to believe this is just a coincidence?" Jim continued.

"You can believe what you like, Jim." Geoff sat on the corner of his desk, feeling his eyes drop closed in both exhaustion and frustration.

"Well, how many in-patients have you got at the moment?" Jim continued without missing a beat.

"Ah, three." Geoff scrunched up his face. "Two are set for discharge today."

"And the other? How serious?" Jim pressed.

"Broken leg, so just physiotherapy for a few more days." Geoff tried to think where Jim was going with this.

"So, can you cover tomorrow? Look, if you get an emergency, it can be transferred to Broken Hill. We just need the wings." Jim persisted.

"Jim, I've had less than five hours sleep in 72 hours. Can't we just transfer the Nomad?" Geoff begged.

"You're more central than Broken Hill. Besides, their pilot is off sick, that's why the aircraft's going in. Bloody hell, Standish, just give me 24 hours?" Jim begged.

"All right," Geoff reluctantly accepted. "But you get me a doctor here by Monday morning, first thing. And would I be wasting my time in requesting a female doctor?"

"What the bloody hell does it matter, as long as you get someone?" Jim raised his voice once again.

"Jim; you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." Geoff paused. "Come on, you know I wouldn't ask unless it was important."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll see if I can pull some strings," Jim muttered.

"Appreciate it." Geoff sighed.

"If I can get someone there on Monday, can you give me any indication of when Dr Lang will be fit to work?" Jim asked, Geoff could just hear the manipulation in his voice.

"I'm leaving that up to her." Geoff felt himself being edged towards disclosure.

"And I suppose I'd be wasting my time wanting to know why she's on sick leave?" Jim pressed.

"You said it." Geoff shook his head, tired of the bureaucracy.

"Come on, work with me. You can't just drop two doctors in one night and expect me to move heaven and earth without so much as an explanation." Jim growled.

"I've told you as much as I can tell you. And, at the risk of being blunt, it's none of your business." Geoff shrugged, pulling the phone away from his ear sharply. "Okay, all right!" Geoff yelled in defence against Jim's tirade of abuse. "We'll manage tomorrow, on the condition that you get someone here on Monday."

Geoff paused, not sure if Jim had heard him or not. "Jim?"

"Yeah, yeah. And that you let me know when Lang's going to be back on duty." Jim added.

"Done." Geoff nodded, hearing the other doctor hang up the phone immediately.

"I'm getting too old for this job." Geoff sighed, as he finished the last dregs of his cold cup of coffee.


	13. Chapter 13 - Repercussions

Chapter 13 - Repercussions

**XxXxX**

_1040, Friday, 20/3/92_

Kate poked her head around the doorway, seeing Rowie sitting on the floor playing with Scarlett.

"Are you okay with her while I hang out the washing?" Kate asked.

"Sure," Rowie looked up immediately.

"Thanks." Kate smiled and walked down to the laundry.

Rowie watched as Scarlett shifted her attention between the array of toys in front of her, eventually choosing a book and opening it.

"Ta!" Scarlett exclaimed, holding the book out in front of her.

"Oh, you want a story?" Rowie leaned forwards to lift Scarlett on to her lap. "The Lion's Paw." Rowie waited as Scarlett impatiently turned the page.

"'Ow!' roared the lion. 'There is a thorn in my paw. Who will take it out?'" Rowie commenced reading the Little Golden Book to Scarlett.

Turning the page, Rowie was about to continue reading, when Scarlett promptly tossed the book away.

"What do you want to do now?" Rowie asked, as the toddler whined a frustrated response and arched her back violently.

"Here?" Rowie reached over to find the set of blue wool-covered bells and handed them to Scarlett.

"Ahh!" Scarlett squealed and hit them hard against the back of Rowie's right hand.

With a sigh, Rowie let the little girl move off in a crawl across the room.

Scarlett wasted no time in making a beeline for the bookshelf and pulling out the first book she could lay her hands on.

"Come on Scarlett, look at all your toys," Rowie coaxed, noticing the discomfort as she pulled herself back up to her feet and went over to divert Scarlett's attention away from the bookshelf.

As she picked up the little girl and brought her, kicking and screaming back to the play mat, Rowie heard the front door bang closed.

"Kate?" Penny called as she paced through from the hallway into the living room.

Carrying Scarlett on her hip, Rowie crossed the room. "She's hanging out washing, Pen."

"Oh," Penny paused. "Hi." Penny glanced over uncomfortably, looking from Rowie to her niece, to avoid direct eye contact.

"Hi," Rowie answered, equally aware of the awkwardness between them. "How was the funeral?"

"Wasn't. Just the burial. No-one else there, beside me and the undertakers." Penny sighed, knowing she had at least fulfilled her promise to Delores. "Least it's over." Penny walked quickly into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

"So, what usually keeps Scarlett amused?" Rowie followed Penny into the kitchen.

"Oh, ah, it depends." Penny filled the kettle with water and put it on to boil. "I can take her if you want?" Penny extended her hands out to her niece.

Scarlett promptly tightened her grip on a cluster of Rowie's hair and shook her head determinedly.

"She sure is stubborn." Penny shrugged. "Cuppa?"

"Thanks," Rowie answered, offering Scarlett the Sippy cup that was on the bench.

As Rowie watched Scarlett grab the yellow handled cup and drink, she became aware of the silence between herself and Penny.

"Come on, Penny, out with it." Rowie took the cup back from Scarlett once the little girl had finished drinking.

With a frown, Penny turned around, leaning back against the bench. "Nothing," she answered quickly.

"Well at least tell me what the gossips are saying?" Rowie adjusted Scarlett on her hip as the toddler reached for Penny's car keys on the corner of the bench.

"All right." Penny folded her arms. "It is true that Guy raped you?"

"Yes," Rowie replied immediately, watching Scarlett chew on the leather pocket of the keys.

Penny's jaw dropped, as she stuttered a response. "Well, ah, how? I, I mean why?"

"_Why_?" Rowie frowned. "How the hell should I know!"

"Okay, okay, dumb question," Penny apologised. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just a shock, that's all."

"Try it from my side." Rowie turned away and walked Scarlett back towards her play mat, placing the little girl down.

"Rowie, what am I supposed to say?" Penny raised her voice slightly, over the sound of the kettle boiling.

Checking that Scarlett had amused herself in a toy, Rowie paced back towards the kitchen bench.

"Well, since we're baring our souls and all, you could start by telling me how you could go behind Jackie's back like that?" Rowie watched as Penny poured the cups of tea.

"How'd you find out?" the young girl looked up quickly, thinking Geoff had betrayed her confidence.

Rowie rolled her eyes. "It hardly matters now, does it?"

"Look, it was months ago, after Steve dumped me. It just happened." Penny shrugged.

Reluctantly giving in to the sordid scandal, Rowie rested her chin in her hand on the edge of the high bench-top. "I said I wasn't having any part of this, but since I've been unwittingly dragged into the middle of it, forget the immorality of cheating on one of your friends, how could you let him use you like that?"

"He wasn't using me!" Penny defended sharply.

"Oh, please. The whole town knew he and Jackie were serious. He was just using you when it suited him, Pen." Rowie fuelled the argument just as strongly.

"So what, I didn't care. Steve didn't want me, so why did it matter?" Penny sighed.

Rowie frowned. "What about Jackie? Didn't you care that she'd be hurt?"

"Yeah, I did." Penny looked down at the floor. "But, well, it was just sex," she justified.

Rowie saw the lost expression on Penny's face. "Are you going to tell her?"

Slowly looking up from the floor, Penny met Rowie's gaze. "Are _you_?"

Both were pulled from the conversation at the sound of the front door opening.

"Hi." Jackie wandered into the kitchen, looking between Rowie and Penny.

"Your ears burning or something?" Penny sighed, tossing the used teabags into the bin.

"Huh?" Jackie looked back to Rowie.

"Damn!" Rowie rushed over to the play mat, realising Scarlett wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Scarlett!" she called, dashing through into the hallway.

"What's going on?" Jackie frowned as Penny sipped on the cup of tea.

"Long story," Penny replied. "Tea or coffee? Kettle's just boiled."

"Nah, I'm fine." Jackie shook her head.

"She was halfway down the hallway!" Rowie exclaimed, wrangling the toddler back into the living room.

"I dunno how Kate does it, and she's going back again," Penny rolled her eyes.

"She's pregnant?" Jackie leaned against the bench-top.

"Oh, no, I dunno. I just meant she wants more," Penny corrected.

Jackie watched as Rowie struggled to maintain Scarlett's interest in the pale blue bunny, giving in and picking her up again.

"Auntie Jackie, you're good with babies." Rowie thrust the toddler into Jackie's arms.

"I am?" Jackie answered, nonetheless taking Scarlett and sitting back down on the play mat with her.

"Rowie?" Penny handed her the cup of tea.

Rowie carried her mug of tea over to the couch. As she sat down, a wave of nausea washed over her.

"You had Delores' funeral this morning, didn't you?" Jackie looked up as Penny sat in the wing-back chair opposite them.

"Yeah, was telling Rowie, not much of a funeral," Penny repeated.

Taking several sips of her tea, Rowie tried to focus on the superficial conversation between Penny and Jackie.

"At least it's over with now." Jackie sighed. "Poor woman."

"Hmm," Penny agreed half-heartedly, watching Scarlett stand up precariously.

"She's not walking yet, is she?" Jackie frowned.

"Any day." Penny smiled.

Slowly getting to her feet, Rowie put the mug of tea on the bench before walking back down the hallway to find Kate.

Arriving into the doorway of the laundry, Rowie watched as Kate folded a pile of freshly dried clothes.

"Sorry Row, won't be much longer. Was that Jackie I heard?" Kate smiled.

"Ah, yeah." Rowie answered, awkwardly changing the subject. "Does Geoff have any Maxolon or Tropisetron at home?"

"I can check, I don't think so. We had built-up our own private pharmacy at one stage, but got rid of it all when Penny moved in." Kate tip-toed around her sister's previous drug problem. "I'll go have a look." Kate nodded.

"Thanks. I'm going to lie down for a while." Rowie headed back up to her room.

**XxXxX**

"She really likes you." Penny smiled, looking down at Scarlett.

"Oh, I have three younger brothers; I'm probably just used to it." Jackie shrugged.

"Jackie, look, I dunno how to say this," Penny shrugged, "With everything that's happened, I feel bad keeping the truth from you."

"I'm sorry?" Jackie shook her head.

"Well, Rowie's right. We're all meant to be friends. So, you might as well know; it was me." Penny kept her eyes focussed on the china mug in her hand.

"You?" Jackie shrugged. "I don't understand."

Both women looked up as Kate paced through the living room.

"Sorry," Kate frowned; having the distinct impression she was interrupting something.

**XxXxX**

Nestling her head down against the pillow, Rowie let her eyes drop closed in the hope that the nausea would abate.

With a sigh, Rowie felt the anger renew itself.

_This is so bloody unfair._

She deliberately tried to keep her breaths deep and evenly-spaced.

"Sorry Row, no luck. Want me to call Geoff?" Kate asked.

Rowie looked up as Kate stood in the doorway.

"No," she replied, closing her eyes once again.

"Antibiotics are a pain, I know," Kate sympathised with an understanding smile. "Might be better if you ate something? How about a sandwich?"

Rowie looked miserably from Scarlett to Kate, "Kate, please don't mention food."

"Are you sure you don't want me to ring Geoff?" Kate offered.

"He's got enough to deal with," Rowie repeated more indignantly.

"I'm just going to put this girl down." Kate turned at the sound of a raised voice in the living room.

**XxXxX**

"See, I knew you'd be jealous!" Penny sneered, crossing the room towards the kitchen and getting a can of Coke from the fridge.

"Jealous? Don't flatter yourself!" Jackie retorted furiously. "It just confirms everything I always thought about you, that's all."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Penny challenged, opening the soft drink.

"That you're an immature, selfish little kid, who's only interested in herself." Jackie paused, "What, one boyfriend wasn't enough?"

"It's not like that. Steve dumped me," Penny defended.

"So you had to throw yourself at the next man you laid your eyes on!" Jackie yelled back.

Penny looked up as she heard Kate slam the door between the hallway and living room.

"What the hell do the two of you think you're doing!" Kate demanded, only lowering her voice when Scarlett whimpered in protest.

"Well she," Penny commenced.

"She," Jackie retorted, pausing when she saw the furious expression on Kate's face. "I'm sorry, Kate. It was just a disagreement that got out of hand." Jackie reached for her handbag on the leather couch.

"She started it!" Penny shrugged, directing her accusation at Jackie.

"Oh, you want to tell her all about it, do you?" Jackie glared over at the young girl.

"Will you two just stop it? Rowie's in the next room feeling like death warmed up, so the least the two of you can do, is lower your voices." Kate frowned, looking between each of the women in turn.

"I've got to get back for work, anyway." Jackie slung her bag over her shoulder.

Taking a sip of her drink, Penny flopped down onto the lounge.

"What's this all about anyway?" Kate looked between each of the women.

"Nothing," Penny muttered, busying herself in searching for the remote control.

"I suppose it's all water under the bridge now." Jackie looked between Penny and Kate, before pacing across the room and opening the door into the hallway.

Kate shook her head, patting Scarlett's back and deciding to ignore it for the time being.

"Come on bubs, time for a nap," Kate spoke quietly, stroking Scarlett's cheek several times before carrying the toddler back to the nursery.

**XxXxX**

"Rowie?" Jackie called, hovering in the doorway.

"Hmm?" she replied miserably, her eyes closed.

"I just wanted to see how your night was." Jackie shrugged awkwardly.

"It was fine," Rowie muttered, slowly opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'll leave you to rest," Jackie apologised.

"It's okay." Rowie rested her head on her clasped hands. "How's Geoff coping? Have they got a relief doctor yet?"

"I don't think so. The last I heard was that the base is non-operational. I'll find out more this afternoon I guess." Jackie stood in the doorway.

Looking around the room, Jackie knew she had to say something to break the tension between them.

"Rowie, I just want you to know I'm sorry about this. I feel responsible. I feel guilty and I understand if you blame me." Jackie kept her gaze lowered; pushing the words out before she lost her nerve completely.

"I'm too busy blaming myself," Rowie whispered, her eyes once again closed. "You know the saying, don't kick a dog when it's down?" she trailed off into the evitable conclusion.

"He deserved it. I just can't believe he took it out on you. It should have been me. I was the one who did all the damage."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Rowie opened her eyes slowly. "I just picked up where you left off, I think." Rowie remembered some of the taunts she'd hurled at Guy earlier in the evening.

"It doesn't matter what any of us said. It's still his fault," Jackie reassured assertively.

Rowie took a deep breath. "I just keep trying to figure out what I could have done differently."

Jackie looked down at her hands clasped together in front of her. "Try not to second-guess your actions now. It won't change anything, and it will just make you feel worse." Jackie cringed. "Sorry, that was straight out of a textbook, I know."

"It's true though," Rowie acknowledged.

"Anything I can get you? Another cup of tea?" Jackie offered.

"No." Rowie tried to decide whether to sit up or lie down.

"Oh, I was having breakfast with Clare this morning. She said to let you know she and Nancy have moved you down into room nine." Jackie watched as Rowie nodded.

"Well, I'd better get back. I'll see you tomorrow," Jackie spoke quietly.

Jackie paused in the doorway, unsure if she was going to receive a reply. After waiting several moments, she turned and walked slowly back up the hallway towards the front door.

**XxXxX**

_1310, Friday, 20/3/92_

Bringing the cups of tea over to the table, Kate took a seat. "So how are you feeling?"

"All right." Rowie reached for the cup. "I'll feel even better once all the bruises heal," she admitted reluctantly.

Kate appreciated the effort such a disclosure had taken. "Is the physical worse than the psychological do you think?"

"At the moment, yup." Rowie sighed. "The prophylactic meds just have me feeling nauseated to the point of dry retching; and I have acquired an appreciation for the agony women must go through after episiotomies." Rowie shrugged half-heartedly.

"Well, except for those of us who have such brilliant doctors we didn't need them!" Kate looked up with a soft smile.

"It'll make me think twice about performing them, that's for sure." Rowie paused. "The psychological hasn't really caught up yet," she dismissed.

"Will you do something, Row?" Kate tilted her head, trying desperately to get eye contact.

Rowie looked up from her cup of tea.

"If I stop asking, will you let me know how things are going from time to time?" Kate tried to gauge a reaction.

Studying the pattern of the table cloth, Rowie eventually nodded.

"Then I'll let it go." Kate decided, remembering Geoff's words of advice from the night before.

**XxXxX**

_1530, Friday, 20/3/92_

"What the hell happened to you two?" Geoff looked up from his desk, as Steve and Johnno sauntered into his office, evidence of their recent brawl plainly visible.

"You wanna tell him?" Johnno clenched his jaw tightly.

"We, ah, had a bit of a differing of opinion." Steve looked down towards the floor.

"I see," Geoff stood from his desk and looked between both men. "Looks like you called it quits just in time."

"He's lucky he's not in hospital," Johnno growled under his breath.

"Yeah, I woulda liked to see you try, mate." Steve turned sharply back towards the pilot.

"Are you kiddin'?" Johnno lurched forwards, Geoff managing to squeeze in between the two men just in time.

"What the hell is all this about!" Geoff bellowed, pushing Steve back. "You, outa here!" He directed Johnno towards the door.

"Fine." Johnno rolled his eyes. "See if you can talk some sense into the kid, Geoff."

"You're just jealous!" Steve called as Johnno closed the door behind him.

"For God's sake, Steve!" Geoff grabbed the young man by the shoulders. "Get over here."

Steve walked through to the examination room.

"Let's have a look." Geoff quickly put on a pair of examination gloves and inspected the cut at the base of Steve's nose.

"Now, are you going to tell me how this happened?" Geoff opened an ampoule of saline and a packet of gauze.

"What's the point? You'll just take Johnno's side." Steve shrugged, wincing as Geoff began cleaning the wound.

"Well, it depends on what the topic is, doesn't it?" Geoff had a pretty good idea of what the younger men had been arguing over by this point, but deliberately remained neutral.

"Johnno reckons Guy raped Rowie. Is it true?" Steve shrugged, as Geoff carefully put down the tweezers and gauze.

"Is that what you two were fighting about?" Geoff asked directly.

"Everyone's got it in for him, Geoff. Guy wouldn't a done something like this. I know him." Steve frowned.

"Look, I'm not taking sides here, okay? But, well, for argument's sake, if he is innocent, then why did he leave town within an hour of it happening?" Geoff leaned against the cupboard, as Steve considered an answer.

"Coz he knew Rowie was gonna make it out like he raped her. And that everyone would believe her. Just like you do," Steve answered.

"I see. So, I'll play devil's advocate here, and go along with you. See if we can work this out. What do you think happened the other night?" Geoff tried to remain impartial as he finished cleaning the blood from Steve's split lip.

"Aw, what's the point? You've all made your minds up about it." Steve pulled away from Geoff's contact.

"Steve, the only thing I have made my mind up about, is the medical evidence that I'm presented with. The rest, well, that's for a court to decide."

"Well, isn't it possible that Guy and Rowie got in a fight, and she's just sayin' it was rape to get back at him?" Steve suggested.

Geoff set his jaw firmly, pushing frustration aside, to try and see why Steve was so insistent on defending Guy.

"Do you think Rowie would do that?" Geoff asked.

"Maybe. If it'd get rid of him. Which it has," Steve answered quickly.

"Have you spoken to Clare about this, Steve?" Geoff softened his voice considerably.

"Yeah, surprise surprise, she believes Rowie. Just like everyone else around this place," Steve muttered.

"Look, just hang on a minute." Geoff pulled off the examination gloves and folded his arms. "Do you have any idea of what a person has to go through when they disclose having been sexually assaulted?" Geoff looked up as Steve shrugged ignorantly.

"Well, the forensic exam is very involved; the victim has to change into a hospital gown, so that all her clothes are collected and put into evidence bags. She then has mouth swabs and fingernail scrapings taken, in case there is any forensic evidence. Finally, the victim is required to undergo a thorough medical examination. Everything is photographed and documented, and then the police arrive and commence an investigation. That involves hours of questioning, until a formal statement is drawn up, and the victim is required to sign it. From then on, there's months, if not years of police follow up, interviews, and then, finally, if there is enough evidence, the case will go to trial."

"Okay, okay. So, say someone did rape her? Why is everyone just assuming it was Guy; just because he disappeared?" Steve countered. "I mean, no-one's accusing Johnno or any of the other men who were at the pub the other night, are they?"

"Only the victim has the right to accuse anyone, Steve. What everyone else around here is doing is gossiping," Geoff corrected.

"Well, Penny told me that Rowie said it was him," Steve challenged.

Geoff replied as politely as he could. "Look, I know it's a shock. When you think you know someone, and then you find out they're capable of such an horrendous act."

"It's just stupid, Geoff. Why the hell would Guy rape anyone? Least of all Rowie?" Steve retorted, his anger renewing.

"We're all capable of losing control, Steve. Of making errors in judgement, in the heat of the moment. I mean, when you agreed to fight that lad a few months back, you had no idea what was going to happen, did you?" Geoff reminded.

"There's no comparison! That was a fist fight between two men. I mean, I punched Guy myself once. He didn't hit me back or nothin'," Steve reasoned.

"Well, maybe the circumstances were different? Rowie and Guy have been having problems for months now. Maybe it just all came to a head the other night?" Geoff watched as Steve contemplated his suggestion more rationally.

"So he roughed her up a bit. That I could understand. But he wouldn't rape her. He doesn't even like her." Steve looked back towards Geoff.

"Mate, I think that's the point." Geoff shook his head, the penny finally dropping. "Steve, rape has nothing to do with sex, you know?"

"Geoff," Steve trailed off with an uncomfortable shrug.

With a frustrated sigh, Geoff scoffed. "Okay, so it's the same physical act, but they're not the same thing, Steve. One's motivated by love, the other by selfishness and the desire to control and dominate. Does that make sense?" Geoff saw Steve glance downwards in confusion.

"Suppose. I just don't understand it." Steve shook his head.

"That's a good thing, Steve. Neither do I." Geoff patted the young man's shoulder, as Steve considered the possibility.

Geoff continued, "Steve, from what I know, for some men, if they feel insecure, or threatened by someone, they can lash out. For them, it's a way of regaining control. It's about over-powering another person."

"Yeah." Steve nodded several times. "Sure explains a lot, I guess. Guy can't stand to lose, can he? I mean, the man cheats at golf, he cheats at pool. If you say it's not about sex, if it's about power, then, guess I see how things mighta got outa control."

"I'd stay away from Johnno for a while, Steve. He's pretty upset," Geoff advised.

Steve nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Right, well, you don't need stitches or anything, so you're good to go." Geoff gestured towards the door.

"Thanks Geoff." Steve shrugged.

"Look, have you got someone you can talk things through with? Penny?" Geoff suggested.

"Yeah, yeah. I tried talking with her, she just gets all defensive. What is it with women? They all stick together with stuff like this." Steve frowned.

"I don't think it's got anything to do with women sticking together. Most people understand that this is a very serious thing. It's not something anyone would just make up. If anything, it's easier to pretend it didn't happen." Geoff watched as Steve walked through the main office towards the door. "Well, you can talk to me anytime, Steve."

"Sure." Steve opened the door and walked out.

**XxXxX**

"Johnno, what in the world happened to you?" Clare frowned as she walked back into the office from lunch, to see Johnno with an ice-pack over his left eye.

"Probably best I don't tell you Clare," Johnno answered curtly.

"Has this got something to do with Steve?" she continued immediately.

"You could say that," Johnno muttered. "Someone needs to sit that kid down, explain a thing or two to him."

"Is this about Rowie?" Clare placed her handbag down on the desk thoughtfully.

Grunting a reply to the affirmative, Johnno sat silently with the ice pack against his head for several moments.

"I'm sorry, Johnno. Steve looked up to Guy an awful lot." She explained.

"Then he'd bloody better get over it!" Johnno replied.

"He's probably finding it difficult to understand," she rationalised.

"Well who isn't, Clare?" he snapped back. "Sorry."

"It's all right. This is hard on you, I know." Clare tilted her head.

"I just wish I'd done something differently that night, you know? Not had that second game of pool. Something. If only I'd heard something," he trailed off.

"Well, how do you think I feel? I heard a scuffle and still did nothing." Clare frowned. "I just thought it was," she shook her head in self-disgust. "Well, you hear all sorts. I've just gotten used to blocking it out."

"Look, this is stupid, both of us going round in circles. It wasn't your fault Clare, any more than it was mine." Johnno placed the ice-pack down on the desk.

"You're right." Clare nodded. "Any word on how she's doing?"

"Spoke to Geoff this morning. He seems to think Row's doin' okay," Johnno answered.

"Well, that's something." Clare brushed Johnno's arm with a supportive smile.


	14. Chapter 14 - Celebrating

Chapter 14 - Celebrating

**XxXxX**

_1740, Friday, 20/3/92_

"What are you still doing here?" Jackie looked up as Geoff paced out from the men's ward to the nurse's station.

"Oh, just following up with Bob Anderson. I'll update his notes that staff are to help him with the physio exercises over the weekend. He should be fine to be discharged on Monday." Geoff opened the patient file.

"Gee it's quiet around here." Jackie shrugged. "He's our only patient."

"Mmm," Geoff muttered, quickly scribbling in the patient notes, before closing the file. "How you going?"

Jackie swallowed, the regret washing over her. "I feel responsible." Jackie saw Geoff's face soften. "How do you cope, Geoff? How do you talk to her without remembering everything you saw the other night? How the hell are we meant to work together? Socialise together?" Jackie felt the tears pool in her eyes.

"By remembering that she's still the same person she was two days ago. I had this same conversation with Kate last night. You have to remember, that yes, this is a huge event right now. But it's not going to stay that way. It's, it's like surgery. The surgery is a big deal, it's traumatic, but the patient gets through it. Then the recovery process starts. Eventually, the recovery process ends too."

"Does it ever really end?" Jackie shrugged sceptically.

"I think that depends on the person. I never thought I would get over the pain of my first wife dying. I certainly never thought I'd have another family." Geoff nodded slowly. "But somehow, you make peace with it. You move on. Otherwise life wouldn't be worth living."

"I dunno, maybe this is more about me than Rowie," Jackie shrugged. "Jesus, I don't know what's going on in my head."

"Stop over-analysing this," Geoff spoke slowly. "Just turn it off for a few days. That's what everyone else is trying to do. Come out tomorrow, have a few drinks, we'll all try and have a few laughs and just remember that life goes on."

Jackie nodded. "Yeah, it does."

"You know, after my wife died, some of my workmates hovered around me, not knowing what to say. I knew what they were trying to say; that they were sorry, that they cared about me. But, that's not what helped get me through. It was the people who didn't treat me any differently." Geoff reached down and picked up his medical bag.

"So, act as though nothing has happened?" Jackie chewed her lower lip.

"Just give it a try, eh?" Geoff smiled softly, as he paced out towards the car park.

**XxXxX**

_1950, Friday, 20/3/92_

"I can do that." Kate reached to take the plates from Rowie.

"It's fine, really." Rowie shrugged.

"Come on, we need to have a talk anyway." Geoff stood up from the table. "Thanks, Kate."

With a sigh, Kate watched as Rowie and Geoff headed outside.

"I owe you an apology for last night," Geoff muttered. "I did some reading today. Combining the antibiotics with high dose contraceptives and then adding diazepam on top of that, was a pretty nasty cocktail."

"I don't remember much of it." Rowie shook her head.

"Still, I didn't handle it well. And you should have had Kate ring me today. I would've come out," Geoff chastised.

"It was all right in the end. I just skipped a couple of amoxicillin dosages, and it settled down by the afternoon." Rowie nodded.

"You going to be okay tomorrow? Everyone'll be on their best behaviour." Geoff asked.

"The sooner everyone stops looking at me like I've suddenly grown two heads, the better." Rowie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, in a few weeks people will be too busy worried about their own lives. Then you'll get to the part where they start putting their feet in their mouths." Geoff remembered the months after his wife died.

"How are you coping on your own?" Rowie stopped as they arrived to the edge of the lawn.

"It's pretty quiet. Jim's promised me a replacement doctor by Monday, so we'll hang on til then." Geoff remembered the bargaining chip he'd had to play in return.

"I'll be out of your hair soon." Rowie shrugged. "Tomorrow, after the party I'll head back into town with Jackie."

"Are you sure?" Geoff hesitated.

"Have to face it sooner or later. Apparently Clare and Nancy moved me into another room last night, so that should be all right," Rowie answered.

"There's no pressure, you know. You could take a few weeks, go away for a bit," Geoff suggested.

"I could, but I'd just be putting off the inevitable." Rowie sighed, pushing her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "I'd rather be working than thinking about what happened."

"Okay. But if you need to talk, I'm here. Anytime," Geoff spoke directly.

Rowie frowned awkwardly. "Do you know if Johnno's coming tomorrow?"

"Yeah, he is." Geoff folded his arms. "Don't worry, he's handling this about as well as anyone. Apart from getting into a punch up with Steve this afternoon." Geoff rolled his eyes in contempt.

Rowie turned, surprised. "Johnno?"

"It's complicated. You know, small town gossip," Geoff trailed off.

"And I'm front page news. Terrific." Rowie looked up towards the stars.

Geoff tilted his head, "Steve said you talked to Penny today?" He failed to conceal the concern in his voice.

"I don't care, Geoff. I'd rather people who know, know the truth. It avoids the rumours. Penny asked, so it just seemed appropriate to be honest." Rowie shrugged with a tired yawn. "At least she believed me."

"Well, that's hardly a problem around here. Steve was about the only person left with any doubts. Between Johnno's fists and my words, I think we got through to him," Geoff spoke openly.

"I can't imagine Johnno fighting anyone. Least of all Steve." Rowie looked around the vast surroundings, hearing nothing other than the crickets chirping in the background.

"There's certainly no question where his loyalty lies." Geoff smiled. "He knows you pretty well, too. Had your denial response down to a tee."

"To think of how much would be different right now if I'd gone through with the wedding," Rowie reflected.

"You can't rush these things. When it's right, it's right. And, who knows?" Geoff suggested.

"Oh, Johnno and I had a long talk months ago. He knows it's over. I just wish he'd stop carrying the torch, you know?" Rowie frowned, shaking her head.

"It's hard. When you love someone, you can't just turn those feelings off," Geoff answered.

"I know." Rowie glanced away.

"But Johnno'll move on." Geoff smiled hopefully. "Don't worry about tomorrow. He'll probably avoid you if anything." Geoff smiled. "It's Nancy I'd be worried about."

"I think it's Vic that I'm dreading having to look in the eye again," Rowie admitted.

"What about your family?" Geoff frowned.

"Vic and Nancy are my family, Geoff." Rowie shrugged. "It's easier if I keep this as quiet as possible. It's not going to help Dad or any of my brothers knowing. I don't need the added stress of their reactions."

"No, I understand." Geoff nodded. "All right, well, shall we close the case until next week, Doctor?"

"I've got a few more days of antibiotics, but that's it. Everything else is healing as it should I guess." Rowie shrugged.

"Don't hesitate to ask me for anything. Don't fall into the trap of self-prescribing. Once you get the AMA on your back, they'll haunt you for life," Geoff advised.

"I've never needed anything other than the odd course of antibiotics, which I've always managed to find sample packs of," Rowie answered with a shrug.

"Particularly the benzos. I know how tempting it is, believe me. We've all done it. But it's too dangerous. And it's not worth risking your registration over." Geoff nodded sternly. "On that note, I think we should stay away from the diazepam for 24 hours."

"Agreed." Rowie nodded. "I feel like there's only about four hours of the last three days that I actually remember."

"Right, see how you go tonight. And there's always temazepam if you need it." Geoff nodded.

"I'm glad you didn't suggest a brandy." Rowie smiled.

"I would have, but you don't want to open that can of worms." Geoff shrugged knowingly.

"No, I don't. And if I ever do, just remind me that I have enough of a genetic predisposition without tipping the scales." Rowie paused. "I don't know why I find it so easy to talk with you." She glanced over at Geoff with a bewildered smile.

"Ah, doctors are doctors. By the time you get to my age, nothing will phase you." Geoff smiled.

"We'll see." Rowie turned back towards the house.

**XxXxX**

_1150, Saturday, 21/3/92_

_One Day Later_

"Okay, finger food is done. All we need now are some guests." Kate pulled the last of the sausage rolls out of the oven. "Oh, what is he doing?"

Rowie looked up from decorating Scarlett's birthday cake, as Geoff attached the video camera to the tripod.

"Thought we'd seen the last of that thing for at least a year." Rowie sighed.

"So had I." Kate rolled her eyes. "Thank goodness Scarlett went down for a sleep early, otherwise she'd have slept through her own party!"

"Anything else that needs doing?" Rowie offered, glancing around the kitchen.

"Nope." Kate shook her head, as Geoff fumbled with the video camera.

Resting her hands on the kitchen bench, Rowie watched silently as Geoff began recording the final instalment of Scarlett's birthday present.

"Scarlett, your Dad here again." Geoff smiled. "It's your first birthday party today, so it's time for the final lesson. I hope that when you're an adult, you'll be able to look back on this video and use the lessons to help you in the decisions you'll no doubt have to make throughout your life. Well, that's how my Dad ended the letter he wrote me. And the funny thing about my Dad is that, although he gave lots of advice, and he often reminded me about the life lessons; he very rarely observed them. Now, now I don't condemn him for his weaknesses, Lord knows, we've all got them. But I think that's why lesson number ten is the hardest to observe. And it's also the simplest. Accept others for what they are. Because Scarlett, we are all badly flawed. Your dear old Dad included."

Geoff looked up at the sound of a car approaching.

"Are they here?" he called to Kate.

"Yup!" she replied, heading towards the front door eagerly.

**XxXxX**

"Come on through. I'm gonna let Scarlett sleep for a little longer." Kate brought Clare and Jackie through to the living room.

"Hun, please put that thing away." Kate rolled her eyes as Geoff pointed the video camera in Jackie and Clare's direction.

"Oh, no, not again!" Jackie cringed, moving as quickly out of range as she could, ending up in the kitchen next to Rowie.

"You're safe over here." Rowie looked up as Jackie arrived beside her.

"Aw, come on you guys, it won't be the same without video of everyone arriving for the party." Geoff sighed, as Kate ceremoniously walked over and took the camera out of his hands.

"Later, hun," Kate rolled her eyes.

"Oh, that's gorgeous!" Jackie looked at Scarlett's birthday cake; a brown clock with a mouse running along it.

"My contribution was the smarties and licorice," Rowie commented.

"Geoff, can you organise drinks for everyone please?" Kate directed Geoff outside to the Esky.

"Come on through Clare, how about a nice glass of champagne to start with?" Geoff wrapped his arm around Clare's back.

"I'd love to, but didn't you say we were on call?" Clare raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, one glass won't hurt." Geoff smiled, guiding her towards the back sliding door.

Frowning, Rowie waited until Geoff and Clare were out of earshot. "Did Geoff just say we're on call? I thought we were non-operational?"

"It's a long story; part of some arrangement with head office to get a replacement doctor. They needed us to cover today for Broken Hill base." Jackie shrugged, only then realising she probably wasn't meant to have disclosed any of that. "I've really got to learn to keep my mouth shut."

"Come on; help me get all this food outside." Rowie picked up the birthday cake as Jackie reached for the tray of sausage rolls.

"There's enough food here to feed an army." Jackie shook her head.

**XxXxX**

_1230, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"Rowie?" Clare quietly excluded herself from the group and carried the wrapped cardboard box over.

"Yes Clare?" Rowie shook her head, as Clare handed her the wrapped present.

"Was I right in assuming that the Fisher-Price medical kit was for Scarlett?" Clare watched as Rowie smiled softly.

"Clare, thank-you! I'd completely forgotten about it." Rowie leaned forwards to hug Clare gratefully. "You even wrapped it!"

"Glad I could help." Clare smiled. "I found it yesterday."

"I got it months ago," Rowie explained.

"Look, this isn't the time, but well, anything you need, even just a chat, I'm here." Clare touched Rowie's arm lightly.

"Thanks," Rowie replied slowly.

Both she and Clare made their way back to the group as Geoff began opening Scarlett's birthday presents.

Geoff unwrapped the first gift. A wooden peg and hammer set.

"Thank-you Steve," Kate looked behind her to Steve.

"It was Mum's idea, but, won't be long and she can help me in the garage." Steve smiled.

"Yes, well, mine's a lot more boring I'm afraid. But I trust they'll be put to good use." Clare gestured to the larger item on the table.

Geoff unwrapped the box of cloth nappies and baby wipes.

"Clare, you're a life-saver!" Kate beamed. "Perfect!"

"Good," Clare nodded.

"And this one is from me." Jackie pointed to the smaller box.

"What have we hear?" Geoff delicately unwrapped the next present, to reveal a silver teddy-bear money box.

"Jackie, that's beautiful!" Rowie exclaimed.

"Well, I thought it was cute." Jackie shrugged with a self-conscious smile.

Geoff opened the next present; something round in pale blue and pink paper. A small, clear plastic ball, with a rotating horse inside.

"Aww, isn't that nice?" Clare smiled.

"Who's that from?" Kate asked, looking around, as she balanced Scarlett on her hip.

"From me!" Penny smiled.

"Look, look," Geoff shook the ball in front of Scarlett several times, in a playful manner.

"Okay, who's next?" Johnno looked around his mates.

"I dunno, I think this red one looks promising." Clare winked knowingly.

"All right." Geoff again tore eagerly into the wrapping paper. "Now. Now, we are on to something here!" Geoff announced, holding up the Fisher-Price medical kit. "Johnno, is this your doing?"

"Don't look at me!" Johnno shook his head, pointing in Rowie's direction.

"Row?" Kate turned around, to receive a quick nod.

"I've had it for months." Rowie smiled. "Couldn't resist."

"Aww look, little sphygmomanometer, stethoscope, everything." Geoff started unpacking the red plastic doctor bag.

"Hey, who's birthday party is this?" Kate giggled, as Geoff placed the stethoscope around his daughter's neck.

"She's a natural." Geoff beamed.

Taking a step back towards Rowie, Kate lowered her voice. "I think Geoff is going to enjoy that more than Scarlett."

"And lucky last." Geoff opened the smaller package. "From Uncle Vic and Auntie Nancy."

"It's just some clothes and a book." Nancy muttered, as Geoff unwrapped the summer dress and book of nursery rhymes.

"Oh, the dress is gorgeous Nancy." Kate smiled as Geoff held it up against Scarlett.

"I thought it would suit her, being so blonde." Nancy answered, stroking Scarlett's fine, blonde hair several times.

"Thank-you everyone, so much. It's just so wonderful to be able to share this day with friends. Kate?" Geoff looked over to his wife.

"Yes, I'm just glad that we're getting to celebrate surviving this first year!" Kate handed Scarlett to Geoff. "And thank-you all so much. Scarlett is one very lucky girl."

"Now, let's get into the party, folks!" Geoff encouraged. "Help yourselves to drinks in the eskies, there's plenty of food, and I'll get the barbie started!"

Kate looked around with a smile as everyone cheered.

"Wait, wait!" Penny called, reaching for the photo camera on the corner of the table.

"Oh, come on you lot," she ignored the groans of protest as she walked around in front of the table to take the photo of the group.

"Hey, didn't we all do this last week!" Johnno protested, remembering the line up outside the front of the pub.

"Yeah, but this is her actual birthday party! Ok, say, cheese!" Penny smiled, quickly taking the photo.

"Aw, Pen, how could you let me forget the video camera?" Geoff sighed, seeing it standing there on the tripod beside the table.

"Geoff, enough!" Kate rolled her eyes, pretending to be angry. "Go and get that barbie on!"

"Oh, I'll take her Geoff." Nancy offered quickly, reaching forwards to take the toddler.

**XxXxX**

_1310, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"Rowie looks better than I expected." Clare muttered under her breath, sipping her glass of champagne.

"It's been a rough couple of days, but getting there. She's going back with you and Jackie today, actually." Kate kept her voice suitably low.

"To the pub? Do you think that's wise?" Clare looked on as Rowie tossed the red cricket ball up and down in the air.

"There's no stopping her once her mind is made up. Anyway, I thought you'd moved her room?" Kate shrugged.

"Yes, Nancy and I did that yesterday. Hopefully that will be enough of a change." Clare watched on as Rowie bowled Johnno a couple of balls.

"We'll see." Kate smiled as Jackie ran to fetch the ball.

"Surprised she's putting in an appearance at all. Good on her." Clare nodded.

"She just wants everything to go back to normal, Clare." Kate sipped her white wine.

"Well, you can hardly blame her. Probably best we try and forget about it, as much as possible. Enjoy some of this delicious food instead." Clare forced a smile, as the two women strolled over to the trestles of party food.

"Hurry up Jac!" Johnno laughed, as Jackie eventually managed to locate the cricket ball.

"Well, why don't we swap? I'll have the fun of hitting the ball and you can run around chasing after it!" Jackie placed her left hand on her hip.

"You? Hit a cricket ball?" Johnno raised an eyebrow. "Now this I've gotta see."

"Johnno, don't be mean," Rowie chastised with a smile. "Have you ever played Jackie?"

"Ah, I used to watch my brothers." Jackie shrugged. "Would you teach me?"

"Sure!" Rowie smiled, "Johnno, you all right to stay at bat?"

"Righto!" the pilot called back, shaking his head as he watched Rowie begin to teach Jackie the concept of over arm bowling.

"Now, hold your two fingers either side of the crease with your thumb underneath." Rowie handed Jackie the ball, adjusting her grip a little. "Good. Okay, so holding the ball like that, you use your opposite arm out in front of you to line up with the wickets."

Jackie shook her head with a thoroughly perplexed expression.

"All right, I'll show you. Stand there." Rowie chewed on her lower lip, lining up her right hand with the middle stump, quickly bringing the ball over her shoulder and towards Johnno.

"Jesus, Row!" Johnno turned sideways to minimise the impact of the ball against his leg.

"And that would be out, LBW," Rowie smirked, "Because he stopped the ball with his leg, rather than letting it continue through to the wicket.

"Except Jackie, the idea is not to actually break the batsman's leg with the ball." Johnno tossed the ball back up to Rowie.

"Sorry!" Rowie chuckled, handing the ball back to Jackie. "Now you try."

"Okay." Jackie looked down at the ball, "But hang on, I'm left-handed."

"Really?" Rowie turned. "I never knew that." She paused for a moment. "Okay, so it's the same idea, just with the ball in your left hand."

"Right." Jackie frowned, taking several steps back and slowly moving forwards before managing a lop-sided toss in Johnno's general direction.

"That was hopeless!" Jackie laughed, as Johnno retrieved the ball.

"You'll get better, it just takes practice." Rowie patted Jackie on the back several times.

"Maybe I'd be better batting?" Jackie suggested.

"Try a few more bowls, just to get the hang of the technique." Rowie encouraged. "It's hard to get the rhythm of it at first, but you'll get better."

"All right." Jackie rolled her eyes, and took several paces back, before bowling another ball at Johnno.

"Terrific!" Rowie clapped, as Johnno hit the ball across the backyard.

"But isn't the purpose of this for me to get the ball passed him to the wickets?" Jackie scrunched up her face.

"Don't worry about that for now. Just work on getting the ball to go where you want it to, then you can learn how to deliver spin balls, fast, or slow ones." Rowie looked down to Johnno. "Can I bat for a bit?"

"Sure." Johnno shrugged, "I'll field."

Rowie paced up to him, taking the bat. "Thanks."

Geoff paced over to Kate and Clare, a stubbie of beer in his right hand.

"Should she be playing cricket, Geoff?" Kate frowned, turning to her husband.

"Probably not, but who's brave enough to try and stop her?" Geoff shrugged with a knowing grin. "I'm just glad they're getting along so well."

"Rowie and Johnno?" Kate queried.

"Yeah." Geoff sipped his beer.

"Just so long as Steve keeps his distance from her, or _I_ won't be getting along with _him_." Clare finished her glass of champagne.

"It's all right Clare, I had a talk with him." Geoff sighed.

"Did it do any good?" Clare asked, all three of them watching the cricket game continue.

"Yeah, he's just young. Didn't quite understand the finer subtleties of human nature." Geoff watched Kate try to keep up with the conversation.

"Is this about Steve and Johnno getting into that fight yesterday?" Kate eventually asked.

"Hmm. Let's change the record, hey?" Geoff shook his head. "I reckon it's lunch time!"

"What a good idea," Kate replied.

"I'll go check how Steve's going with the barbie!" Geoff rubbed his hands together eagerly.

**XxXxX**

"Mate, they're done," Steve insisted, turning the almost-black sausages for what felt like the tenth time.

"Aww, not quite, eh? Gotta have that chargrilled taste," Geoff encouraged.

"Geoff, they were chargrilled ten minutes ago. Now they're just burnt." Steve sighed.

"Phone," Geoff looked up, placing the stubbie of beer on the nearby card table, and handing the tongs to Steve.

"No problems," the young lad muttered, eager to get the overly cooked sausages off the heat.

Kate looked up as her husband jogged across the yard, momentarily hearing the faint ringing of the phone.

"Ah, Kate? Reckon Geoff'll mind if I get these snags off? Already blacker than the barbie." Steve gestured to the sizzling pieces of meat.

"No, please Steve. I'll never understand how a man so talented in surgery can wreak havoc on a plateful of meat," she laughed, deciding to check on the birthday girl.

Kate turned her head, immediately spotting Scarlett across the yard, being fussed over by Clare and Rowie.

"I can't believe how quickly she's grown, only seems like yesterday she was born, and now she's practically walking," Clare reflected, offering the girl a colourful set of keys that she had just received from Johnno.

"A year seems so insignificant," Rowie agreed, gently attempting to remove a clump of her hair from Scarlett's tight grip.

"I missed that the most with Steve; all the little moments. His first steps, first day of school," Clare reminisced, looking up to watch her son and Penny fooling around at the BBQ.

"Sc-Scarlett, please, let, let go. Clare, can you," Rowie struggled to keep the toddler secured on the deck chair, whilst at the same time prying her auburn plait loose from the child's tiny fingers.

Fortunately, two hands appeared quickly from above, forcing the little girl's fist open, "Sorry, Row, she's really got it in for you, hasn't she?" Kate smiled, scooping her daughter up into her arms.

"Thanks," Rowie smiled and got to her feet.

The group looked up as they heard Geoff's voice from across the yard.

"Everyone! There's been a three-car pile-up a hundred 'k' west of Henderson's creek. Come on!"


	15. Chapter 15 - Exposure

Chapter 15 - Exposure

**XxXxX**

_1340, Saturday, 21/3/92_

Geoff kept running around the swimming pool towards the cars, hearing Clare and Penny's voice behind him.

Looking ahead, he saw a familiar auburn plait jogging beside Steve.

They arrived either side of the maroon station wagon.

"Where do you think you're going?" Geoff leant over the roof of the car.

"Geoff, don't be ridiculous. You can't handle this on your own," Rowie protested.

"I've got Jackie and Kate," Geoff argued.

"Who can't authorise drug administration, diagnose or operate," Rowie challenged, opening the passenger door.

"Are you sure?" he reiterated.

"Yes!" Rowie glared at him, knowing there were at least three other people watching their discussion by that point.

"Come on then." Geoff shook his head, as they got into the car.

**XxXxX**

Rowie glanced back over her shoulder, seeing the convoy following behind them.

"When did it happen?" She glanced over at Geoff.

"About twenty minutes ago. Passing truck driver saw the smoke, called it in." Geoff increased their travelling speed slightly, glancing down at the digital clock on the dashboard. "By the time we all get back to the base, get in the air, gonna be an hour before we're there."

"How many people were involved?" Rowie questioned.

"Dunno, could be anything from there or four, maybe nine or ten if there are kids," he muttered glibly. "You sure you're up to this?"

"I'll be fine." Rowie nodded quickly. "Damn. I don't have my medical bag though."

"We can send someone to the pub whilst we're packing up the cars," Geoff answered. "How'd you sleep last night?"

"Better than I expected," Rowie confirmed. "I woke two or three times, but getting back to sleep wasn't a problem."

"So all you've got are the antibiotics on board?" Geoff checked.

"Yes," Rowie replied sharply, resenting Geoff's not-so-subtle questioning of her fitness for duty.

**XxXxX**

_1400, Saturday, 21/3/92_

Within twenty minutes the four cars were pulling up outside the base.

Geoff quickly surveyed the numbers, addressing the group. "All right, Rowie and I, Kate and Jackie will go in the Nomad, we'll get there the quickest. If Steve and Penny drive out as well, then, depending on the casualties, whoever there isn't room for on the plane drives back with them. Okay?"

"We'll start loading supplies." Kate gestured to Jackie and herself.

"I'll let everyone else know what's happening, and then we'll set off." Geoff nodded to himself. "Oh, Katie, can you send Penny over to the pub to get Rowie's bag?"

"Right," Kate acknowledged, hastily moving towards the supply room.

**XxXxX**

"How's it looking up there?" Johnno poked his head around the glass window to address Clare.

"Clear skies, slight south-easterly, no more than five knots or so." Clare handed the pilot the weather report.

"That's something I guess." Johnno glided his index finger over the location map in his hand.

Clare slipped on her glasses reached for a pen. "What's your ETA to the accident site?"

"Assuming it's on the main road passing the creek, not on a side road, which is unlikely anyway, should be, ah thirty-five, forty minutes flying time if we're lucky. Need another fifteen minutes or so to get in the air."

Johnno looked up to see Kate, Jackie, and Rowie nearly run him over, their arms full of supplies.

"Sorry!" he managed to duck out of the way just in time.

"Better luck next time!" Jackie teased.

"Johnno, can you help Geoff with the Jordan frame and splints? Tell him I've got the collars," Rowie spoke quickly, following behind Jackie.

"Ah, yup!" Johnno replied, busily stuffing maps, pens, and everything else that had been strewn across his desk for the last few days, back into his flight bag.

"So I make that around 1500 hours? Johnno?" Clare looked up, the simultaneous opening and closing of car doors echoing through the entrance hallway.

"1500 sounds good, Clare. I'll confirm once we get airborne. I'll also contact Penny and Steve, soon as I get a visual on the site; make sure we all end up in the same place." He frowned. "Geoff?"

Geoff came out from the office, carrying his medical bag.

"Row says she's got the collars, but we need to get the Jordan frame and splints?" Johnno pointed towards the storage room between the two offices.

"Right, we all ready?" Geoff appeared from his office, surprised at the empty office.

"Just coming!" Johnno awkwardly manoeuvred the bulky frame through the doorway. "Sill Haffen't got er swints," Johnno muffled, as he passed Geoff, his flight bag now secured between his teeth.

"Well, we'll just have to make do. Clare, we'll be in touch!" Geoff hurried Johnno out the door, doing a quick head count, before quickly directing everyone to the airport.

**XxXxX**

_1510, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"Victor Charlie Charlie, this is Mike Sierra Foxtrot. Over." Johnno extended the flaps, pulling the Nomad into a steeper ascent.

"Victor Charlie Charlie receiving, what's your position Johnno?" Clare responded quickly.

"Still climbing to six thousand, Clare. ETA at accident site, twenty-five minutes, as long as we keep this tailwind." Johnno scanned his instruments, having felt the aircraft encounter some turbulence.

"Received. I've got some additional information regarding the casualties, if you can pass it on, over," Clare waited for Johnno's affirmation.

"Go ahead, Clare, over," he replied immediately, decreasing the rate of climb slightly.

"According to the truck driver who called it in, there were six casualties, only four survived the crash though. Two are ambulatory, two look serious. You got that?" Clare double-checked the hastily written notes beside her.

"Affirmative, will pass on. Mike Sierra Foxtrot out," Johnno pushed the mike from his mouth, turning to Geoff beside him.

"I'll let them know," Geoff pulled the headset from her head, heading back through to the main cabin.

**XxXxX**

_1535, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"Everyone buckled in back there?" Johnno turned his head back. "Should be down in about five." He glanced back to his instruments, and lowered the landing gear.

"Talk about a full house!" Kate secured her belt, in the back of the aircraft next to Geoff.

"You're not wrong. Now all we need are some patients." Geoff looked out the window, in an attempt to get a visual fix on the accident site.

"Shame they didn't all survive," Kate spoke quietly, nodding as Geoff indicated the wreckage off in the distance, brilliantly illuminated by the sun.

"Out here, travelling at those speeds, it's a miracle that the four of them did, and that there weren't more people involved," Geoff countered.

Glancing up at Rowie in the seat opposite her, Jackie couldn't help the concerned frown that crossed her face. "You okay?"

"Fine," Rowie replied abruptly, alternating her gaze between the outside sky and the interior of the small aircraft.

**XxXxX**

The balding truck driver waited until the aircraft's propellers had slowed, before running towards the opening door.

"Oh, thank God you lot got here. I'm worried about the woman. She's still trapped and fuel's leakin' everywhere," he muttered, grabbing Geoff's arm and indicating the wreckage in the distance.

"We'll do the best we can, mate." Geoff took his medical bag from Kate and broke into a run, following behind the truck driver.

Jackie watched from her seat as the Nomad quickly emptied, before grabbing two of the resuscitation kits and following out behind Rowie.

"Bloody hell," Geoff muttered, slowing into a jog as he took in the situation before him. The three cars were entangled, two head on and the third into the back of the green sedan. Geoff noticed the two bodies by the roadside, jackets draped over their heads and upper chests. Several metres away he saw another victim, profusely bleeding from a head injury that had been superficially managed with a torn shirt.

"Over here, the woman's over here!" The truck driver pointed toward the red Ute in the middle of the road. The two ambulatory casualties stood either side of it.

"Right," Geoff turned around as the medical team assembled behind him. "Rowie, can you see to the head injury," he indicated, "Jackie and Kate, get those two away from the vehicle and assess for injury. Johnno, I'm gonna need your help getting the woman out!"

As quickly as they had assembled, everyone dispersed as directed.

Geoff wasted no time in arriving to the open passenger door of the red car, Johnno right behind him. "Ah, she, she's trapped under the steering column," Geoff shook his head, running around to the driver's side, attempting to open the door.

"It's no good, door's mangled, won't open," Geoff tugged hard several times, but the door didn't budge. "It's all right, we're gonna get you out of here." Geoff knelt across on the passenger's seat, checking the woman's pulse and pupil reaction.

"My husband, where's my husband?" the middle-aged woman murmured, eyes flickering as she struggled to stay conscious.

"Look, we don't know. Need to worry about you for the moment. Where does it hurt?" Geoff moved further forwards, trying to see the extent of the blood loss and ascertain how they would get the woman out of the crumpled car.

"Ah, Geoff? _Geoff_," Johnno leaned into the car, having been silently observing the trickling fuel running down from the other vehicle which now sat precariously perched on the tray of the Ute.

Geoff turned, with an annoyed frown, "What?"

"Don't like the look of that." Johnno pulled Geoff back by the shoulder, indicated the growing pool of petrol running along the wreckage to the dusty ground.

"Well, we can hardly leave her there," Geoff replied gruffly.

"Mate, _we_ might not be standing here much longer if that thing blows." Johnno glanced around at his other colleagues, all busy with their assigned duties.

Jackie battled alongside Kate, to get both the ambulatory patients to remain sitting down.

"Oh my God, it's all my fault! I, I shoulda slowed down at the turn-off, I just didn't think, didn't think anyone else'd be out here." A younger man in his early thirties reluctantly sat on the red esky, head in his hands as Kate tried to get him to calm down.

"It was an accident. Just let me make sure you're all right," she pleaded, turning to Jackie, whose female patient merely sobbed uncontrollably.

"Here, sit down, let me examine you," Jackie held the young woman's shoulders, not having any success until the other young man called to her.

"Jenny! Jen, you all right?" he looked up, seeing his girlfriend distraught.

"Yes, just, just a few bruises. Oh Tim, what about the others?" She ran to his side, grabbing onto his left arm.

"So, you two were travelling in which car?" Kate knelt down in front of the couple, satisfied that neither seemed to be in imminent danger.

"In, in the white one." Timothy pointed to the white station wagon that was crumpled face-to-face with the green sedan. "God, they're dead! I, I killed them," he turned back to the young woman, both clutching to each other.

Jackie looked between the young couple, and then back to the pile of wreckage, able to make out her three colleagues in the distance.

"Jackie, can you give me a hand!" Rowie called, awkwardly squatting down beside the fourth casualty, a middle-aged man who lay unconscious on the ground.

Opening her medical bag and eventually managing to find her stethoscope and penlight, Rowie commenced a preliminary examination.

"Ah, yeah," the nurse quickly replied, running over, "What is it?"

"Massive head trauma, pupils fixed and non-responsive. Can you get me a saline IV, and tell Johnno we're gonna need to get this man back as soon as possible," Rowie checked her patient's pulse, before listening for any sounds of chest complications.

"Right. When you've got a minute, can you look over the other two?" Jackie asked hurriedly, "They look superficial, but they're both in shock."

"Sure." Rowie nodded.

Jackie ran back to the nearby esky to retrieve the IV kit.

"Almost there!" Johnno announced breathlessly as he pulled back on the crowbar against the driver's side door.

Geoff looked up from the patient, "There's nothing I can do until we get her out. Can you go over and see if the truck driver has any idea how to move this?" Geoff indicated the dashboard and steering column which pinned the woman by the legs.

"Will do," Johnno nodded, looking over to find the balding man.

Jackie arrived back to Rowie's side, IV in hand. "Here."

"Thanks." Rowie looked up, pulling the stethoscope from her ears. "Can you get Johnno? I wanna get him on board."

"Come on!" Johnno pulled the crowbar back, the door creaking and moving slightly.

"Leave it, mate. No point until we figure out how we're gonna get the steering column shifted." Geoff sighed, checking on his semi-conscious patient once again.

"Johnno!" Jackie called, running around the mangled cars until she spotted his dusty, white uniform.

"Yeah?" The pilot dropped the crowbar, exhausted and frustrated.

"Rowie needs you to get the other patient on board, says we need to get him back soon as possible." The nurse managed a glimpse at the injured lady in the driver's seat.

"Ah, right. Geoff, what are we doing?" Johnno stuck his head through the side window.

"Jackie, how bad is he?" Geoff called, the nurse's head appearing beside Johnno's.

"Head injury," she answered.

"Right." Geoff set his jaw in thought, "Johnno come around here, want you to give me a hand, see if we can get her clear on our own,"

Johnno moved around the cars, squeezing in beside Geoff who awkwardly managed to slip behind the patient, gripping her shoulders. "If you can help me pull the steering column back, we might stand a chance." The doctor secured his arms around the woman's chest.

Jackie stood a metre behind Johnno, her mouth open in concern as she watched the two men attempt the rescue.

"Okay, on three. One, two," Geoff commanded, feeling his upper body pulled back immediately. Having only managed to turn the patient, so that her back now faced the open door, Geoff heard the woman let out an agonised moan of pain.

"Stop!" Geoff called sharply.

Johnno dropped his arms quickly, looking around in panic when he felt the car shift slightly with all the movement.

"Damn it!" Geoff cursed to himself, able to see the blood trickling around the woman's knees. Feeling for a pulse, he realised she had weakened during the move, and was now unconscious in his arms.

"J-Johnno!" Jackie bit her lower lip hard, reaching forwards to pull on the pilot's arm.

"What?" he turned, following her petrified gaze.

"Geoff!" he looked over at his colleague. "We gotta get back. There's more fuel!"

Locking eyes with the pilot, Geoff felt his stomach turn. He didn't want to leave his patient.

"Geoff, get out!" Jackie shrieked, hands going to her mouth in fear.

"Mate!" Johnno gripped Geoff's right arm, pulling as hard as he could through the open door, both scrambling away from the vehicle and hitting the dirt.

Rowie looked up from her patient, hearing Jackie's high-pitched screams. She saw her three colleagues throw themselves along the dusty roadside, before dropping forwards to shield both herself and her patient from the erupting flames and deafening explosion.

Geoff felt himself winded by the impact of the ground. The moments after the explosion seemed to last for minutes, until he dared open his eyes. Turning his head tentatively back towards the explosion, Geoff heard a female voice begin a long, shrill scream. It was the young woman beside Kate. Still crouched on his hands and knees, Geoff recognised the pilot's epaulette just over a metre away.

"Johnno?" he called, coughing the dirt from his mouth.

"Geoff, Jackie?" Johnno replied, lifting his head and looking around him, still dazed.

"I'm right. Is anyone hurt?" the nurse sat back on her knees, pushing the strands of hair from her face.

"Only," Geoff hesitated, conscious of the familiar regret he always felt in the pit of his stomach when he lost a patient. "Don't even know her name."

"Geoff!" Kate yelled, running over from the two ambulatory patients, aware of how close her husband had been to the explosion.

"We're all right. Best get out of here." Geoff slowly stood, reorienting himself to the accident site.

Johnno dusted off his knees, arriving to his feet beside Geoff, glancing over each of his colleague's faces; Jackie, Geoff, Kate. "Where's?"

"Rowie!" Geoff noticed the cluster of auburn hair in the distance. He moved quickly into a jog, slowing only when he saw his colleague move.

"You right?" Geoff crouched down, as she pulled herself back up and automatically rechecked her patients' vital signs.

Rowie finished inserting the IV, and adjusted the flow rate, swallowing as she realised her hands were trembling from the shock of the explosion.

"We need to get him back," Rowie muttered, trying to catch her breath.

Geoff looked up as the two nurses and pilot quickly grouped around the unconscious casualty.

"Right, well those two are ambulatory, let's take them back with us," he indicated to the younger couple huddled only metres away.

"What about the bodies?" Rowie interjected, glancing over towards the two deceased men in the clearing.

"Ah, Kate?" Geoff looked over to his wife, "Can you wait for Penny and Steve to get here, ride back with the bodies?"

"Sure," she replied softly.

"Well, let's get everyone on board. Jackie you come with us." Geoff rubbed his chin, as Johnno dashed back to the Nomad to retrieve the stretcher.

"We gonna have room?" Jackie frowned.

"Ah," Geoff did a quick count, "We should make it."

**XxXxX**

_1615, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"He's deteriorating rapidly, we'll need to get into theatre as soon as possible," Rowie remained in the doorway of the Nomad, as she conferred with Geoff.

"Yeah, I think the younger man has a few fractured ribs, too. So we'll get this guy stabilised first and then x rays and minor patch-up work," Geoff concluded.

"Ah, Doctor? Tim here's in quite a bit of pain," Jackie looked back to the patient sympathetically.

"Let's see what we can do to make you more comfortable, shall we?" Geoff looked around for his bag.

Jackie hovered by her patient, as she helped the young woman to buckle up her seatbelt in the back of the aircraft.

"What's going to happen?" the woman asked, beginning to appreciate the severity of the accident.

"We're going to take you both back to the hospital, make sure you're not hurt. The police will take it from there," Jackie replied, keeping her arm supportively on the woman's shoulder.

"I, I just can't believe it, everything happened so fast. Those two men died, and that woman. Tim and I were so lucky," she whispered, her eyes surveying the accident site.

"I know, it's perfectly natural to feel shocked. Where were you heading?" Jackie thought it a good idea to maintain a light conversation, to help keep her patient calm.

**XxXxX**

_1635, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"How's he doing?" Johnno asked as Rowie leaned forwards into the cockpit.

"Seems relatively stable for the moment, the sooner we get him into theatre the better," she replied, moving back into the cabin and taking a seat at the head of the stretcher.

"Victor Charlie Charlie to Mike Sierra Foxtrot, receiving?" Clare's voice filled the cockpit.

"Mike Sierra Foxtrot receiving. Clare, what can I do for you?" Johnno answered.

"Just wanted to update you, ambulance will be waiting for you on the tarmac, what's your ETA? Over," she concluded.

"Thanks for that, ah, around 1700 at this stage," he replied, scanning over his instruments.

"Received. I'll contact you with any updates from the accident site. Over and out," Clare responded, the noise dropping to the mere sound of the aircraft engines.

"Was a close call with the explosion before, lucky Geoff got out in time," Johnno reflected, slipping the headset down from his ears.

"I didn't even realise what was going on until I heard Jackie screaming," Rowie acknowledged, turning her head back towards the cabin, Geoff checking the patient's vitals.

"Talk about throwing yourself back into work," Johnno acknowledged, glancing at a map above his head, making the necessary adjustments.

"Quite literally." Rowie rolled her eyes, slipping back into the main cabin.

"Any change?" she enquired, moving to the seat at the head of the stretcher.

Geoff merely shook his head, "Pupils still non-reactive. The sooner we get him into theatre, relieve the intracranial pressure, the better his chances." He sighed, watching as Rowie repeated a set of obs.

"I can barely feel his pulse," She looked up, reaching over to the metal cabinet for a stethoscope. "He's arresting!"

Rowie swivelled around, negotiating her way between Geoff and the cabinet, to locate the resuscitation kit, securing the nearby ambu bag to the patient's nose and mouth.

"One, two, three, four, five." Geoff commenced CPR.

Johnno turned at the commotion, watching as the two doctors struggled to save the man's life.

"One, two, three, four, five." Geoff continued, waiting until Rowie had finished ventilation before he reached up for a pulse, "Nothing," he announced with a disappointed sigh.

Rowie's eyes flickered from the patient's unconscious form to Geoff. "Do you want to call it?" she asked

"He was your patient." Geoff shrugged.

Rowie nodded, glancing down automatically, before realising she wasn't wearing a watch. She looked over at the watch on Geoff's left wrist.

"Time of death, sixteen forty-two," she reached across for a clipboard, noting the details.

Geoff respectfully brought the red blanket up to cover the patient's head.

Johnno turned, seeing the blanket immediately.

"Johnno, can you let Clare know we won't be needing theatre?" Geoff slid into the front seat next to Johnno.

"Will do." Johnno pulled the headset up to his ears, initiating the radio call.

Rowie finished making some brief notes and slipped the paper into her medical bag. She sat back down in the seat directly behind the small metal chest of drawers.

"You all right?" Jackie frowned.

"Not particularly." Rowie shrugged, trying to ignore the burning discomfort.

Rowie loosely fastened her seatbelt, more out of habit than necessity. She sighed, turning her head to glance down at the dusty, barren land below.

"Oh my God, that man's dead, isn't he!" Tim, who was seated at the back of the plane next to his girlfriend called out in distress.

Jackie stood from her seat and moved to the back of the aircraft. "I'm afraid so, there's nothing the doctors could do."

Rowie watched as Jackie spoke quietly to the young man, trying to gauge his reaction.

"Nah, I ain't letting them touch me. I ain't goin' to no hospital!" Tim shook his head, clutching his girlfriend's hand.

Seeing Jackie battling to reason with both patients, Rowie stood up and moved to the padded seat by the side door.

"How about if we get something to calm you down, Tim?" Jackie suggested calmly, looking to Rowie helplessly.

"Don't touch me!" Tim pushed Jackie away.

Reaching down to help Jackie to her feet, Rowie shook her head. "Let's nip this in the bud," she sighed, remembering the last experience she'd had in the back of the Nomad with an out-of-control patient.

As Jackie sat back down, Rowie quickly drew up the diazepam ampoule, tapping Geoff on the shoulder.

"What's up?" Geoff turned.

"The young man's not coping too well with the arrest, 15 mgs diazepam," Rowie indicated the syringe in her left hand.

"Need a hand?" Geoff frowned.

"The less people back here the better." Rowie shook her head and negotiated her way to the back of the aircraft.

"Tim, Dr Lang's going to give you an injection, it will calm you down, make you feel better." Jackie explained slowly, looking to the young woman for support. "Jenny, that would be a good idea, wouldn't it? If Tim wasn't so upset?"

"Yeah." The young girl nodded several times, looking between the nurse and the doctor. "Sweetheart, everything's going to be all right," she reassured, stroking his arm.

Waiting until the young man clutched his girlfriend's arm, Rowie got to her feet.

"Do you want me to?" Jackie extended her hand out for the syringe.

"Thanks." Rowie handed her the alcohol prep and syringe, watching as Jackie administered the diazepam.

"Good man." Jackie nodded. "It won't be too much longer now."

After monitoring the young man for several minutes to ensure there was no reaction, Jackie moved to the seat in front of Rowie.

"Thank God." Jackie sighed.

"I wasn't looking forward to another wrestling match at 5,000 feet," Rowie answered.

Johnno turned around into the cabin. "We'll be down in a few minutes," he announced, as he alternated his gaze between Jackie and Rowie.


	16. Chapter 16 – Vicarious Trauma

Chapter 16 – Vicarious Trauma

**XxXxX**

_1945, Saturday, 21/3/92_

Jackie sat on the corner of Johnno's desk, thoughtfully sipping a cup of tea.

"Well, I'm outa here." Johnno placed the last of the paperwork into his flight bag and dropped the worn black briefcase down onto the floor by his desk.

"See you for dinner maybe?" Jackie glanced over at him.

"Maybe." Johnno shrugged, pushing back the office chair and getting to his feet.

"Night Johnno." Clare waved from her seat by the radio.

Watching as Johnno left, Jackie stood and paced over to Clare's side.

"Are you waiting for the same thing I'm waiting for?" Jackie muttered, looking back at the two closed office doors.

"Hmm," Clare responded immediately.

"Well, do you think she's up to going back to the pub?" Jackie continued in a whispered voice.

"Who knows?" Clare shrugged. "How'd she go today?"

"Fine," Jackie answered. "We probably don't both need to be here though, Clare."

"Say no more." Clare stood and reached for her grey handbag on the edge of her desk. "I'm starving."

"See you back there." Jackie nodded.

Crossing the room and placing the mug back on the small table beside the coffee machine, Jackie heard the door to Rowie's office open.

"All done?" Jackie looked up.

Rowie shook her head, "Is Geoff still here?"

"In Guy's office," Jackie gestured to her left, only then bristling at her slip-of-the-tongue.

As she watched Rowie walk around behind her towards the main office, Jackie dropped her head downwards, scrunching up her face.

_Stupid, stupid Jacqueline._

"Yup?" Geoff looked up at the sound of a knock on the door.

"I've finished the case notes for both Jennifer Gardener and Paul Edwards. Do you think the coroner's office will request an autopsy?"

"How old was he?" Geoff stood from the desk.

"Late thirties," Rowie replied immediately.

"It's anyone's guess. How'd you go tracking down a next-of-kin for them?" Geoff asked.

"I thought I'd check with you prior to notification." Rowie glanced awkwardly around the office.

"I'll do it." Geoff checked his watch. "Penny and Steve are out at my place helping Kate clean up."

"I'll get you the license details." Rowie turned back towards the doorway with a tired sigh.

Geoff watched her leave, as Jackie paced into the room.

"What a day." Jackie shook her head dejectedly.

"Jim owes me big time." Geoff sighed weakly.

"Licence details, clinical notes." Rowie brought the manila folder back with her and handed it to Geoff.

"Thanks." Geoff watched Rowie struggle to conceal her fatigue.

"Are we on standby tomorrow?" she asked.

"Only until 0700 hours," Geoff answered.

"I'll check on Jennifer first thing, but she should be fine to be discharged in the morning. And the replacement doctor is due in Monday?" Rowie folded her arms across her chest.

"That's what Jim promised. Monday morning, first thing. Broken Hill are covering until then." Geoff watched Rowie take in the information.

"Geoff, you haven't had a day off in nearly a week, I'm happy to take hospital duty tomorrow," Rowie offered.

"All right." Geoff nodded, knowing better than to doubt her. "I'll see you first thing Monday morning then."

"Will do." Rowie nodded.

"Night Geoff." Jackie smiled, hovering in the doorway as Rowie retrieved her medical bag from her office.

"Sorry Jackie, are you waiting for me?" Rowie frowned as she paced back out into the main office.

"Yeah, all set?" Jackie raised an eyebrow. "Clare and Johnno are doing dinner if you're interested?" Jackie suggested, as they walked towards the front door.

"We'll see," Rowie hesitated, pushing open the glass door and holding it for Jackie.

"Thanks." Jackie closed the door, feeling the cool night breeze against her bare arms. "You did really well today, you know."

"Oh, today was easy. Professionalism is something you can just turn on and off. It's tonight I'm not so sure about," Rowie admitted.

"Well, I'm right next door. How have you been sleeping?" Jackie asked.

"Last night, fine. The night before, don't ask." Rowie sighed. "Not that I remember all that much of it."

"Bad dream? Insomnia?" Jackie shook her head in concern.

"Reaction to the diazepam." Rowie sighed, aware of how much physical pain she was still in, as they both continued walking down the main street.

**XxXxX**

_2025, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"Now you just rest and I'll bring you up some dinner." Nancy hovered in the doorway of Rowie's room.

"Nancy, I'll be fine." Rowie glanced around the freshly decorated room.

"At least let me bring you up some dinner, love?" Nancy pleaded.

"All right, just a sandwich," Rowie acquiesced. "Thanks Nance."

"If there's anything we can do, you need only ask." Nancy stressed awkwardly. "Rowie, I'm so sorry."

Rowie nodded slowly, checking that the hallway was clear before she spoke. "How's Vic?" she asked tentatively, realising that he had avoided her all day, both at the party and this evening.

"He's pretty upset, love." Nancy sighed.

"Would you tell him I'm fine. Really." Rowie shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.

"How about if I send him up with your tea? Maybe you can convince him?" Nancy suggested hopefully.

"Sure." Rowie smiled softly, watching Nancy pace back down the corridor.

Slowly closing the door, Rowie glanced around the unfamiliar room.

She looked from the wardrobe against the far wall, to the bed running horizontally out from the right hand side wall, to the wooden bedside table.

Seeing her red backpack that Penny had left beside the bed, Rowie realised everything else had been neatly put away.

**XxXxX**

_2055, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"Geoff must be exhausted after the last few days." Johnno looked over at Jackie as he sipped on a beer.

"Aren't we all?" Jackie rolled her eyes. "Must be nice to have a day off, Johnno?"

"You're not kidding. Can't tell you how long it's been since I've had some time off." Johnno frowned. "Not since Dad died anyway."

"What a disaster that weekend was!" Clare chuckled, remembering the two days they'd all spent renovating Johnno's house.

"Ah, thank-you Nancy. I'm absolutely starving," Clare muttered, as Nancy placed the schnitzel and vegetables down in front of her.

"Thank God we didn't have to eat those sausages today." Johnno rolled his eyes, leaning over to steal one of Clare's chips.

"Oi, I saw that!" She tapped his hand with a smile. "I'm going to enjoy a nice leisurely sleep-in tomorrow I think." Clare sighed. "What about you Jackie?"

"I'm on a late. Sorry Clare, I'm not the best company at the moment." Jackie looked up as Nancy placed the chicken curry and rice dish in front of her. "Thanks, Nancy."

"It sounded just awful out there today." Clare nodded.

"Two were already dead. And we lost another two. Yeah, it was," Jackie answered with a blank stare.

"Coulda been worse. Geoff was determined to get that woman out. Coulda lost him as well." Johnno shook his head, taking a larger gulp of his beer.

"So, out of six, only the young couple survived?" Clare confirmed.

Johnno frowned, remembering the expression on the older woman's face as she lay trapped in the vehicle.

"Yup." Jackie picked at her food with her fork.

"Was bloody horrific. Speaking to that woman, then seeing the entire car go up in flames with her still trapped inside ten minutes later. Thank God she was unconscious by that stage." Johnno finished his beer quickly.

"Johnno, do you have to remind me? The week I've had." Jackie dropped her fork back to the plate. "I can't eat this."

"Days like today I think of packing it all in and joining an airline." Johnno stood and paced over to the bar to get another drink.

Clare looked between Johnno and Jackie uncomfortably, realising she had been spared the brunt of the trauma from the past few days. "I haven't started yet, Jackie. Do you want to swap?" Clare offered.

"Nah, just the sight of cauliflower is enough to put me off. I couldn't eat anything, anyway." Jackie frowned, clasping her hands together in her lap. "Johnno?" Jackie looked over to the pilot standing by the bar. "Gin and tonic, please," she requested.

Clare sat in silence beside Jackie until Johnno brought the drinks over.

"At your service, ma'am." Johnno placed the drink down in front of Jackie.

"Thanks Johnno." She smiled, sipping at the clear liquid.

Johnno brought the glass of scotch to his lips. "Let's just try to forget about it."

**XxXxX**

_2110, Saturday, 21/3/92_

Rowie had just finished rearranging the clothes in her wardrobe when she heard a knock at the door.

Conscious of who was going to be on the other side of it, Rowie opened the door quickly.

"Thank-you Vic." Rowie made a deliberate effort to appear comfortable, glancing down at the tray in his hands.

"Here, I'll, I'll just put this over here," Vic muttered, avoiding eye contact and crossing the room to place the tray on the desk.

"Thanks." Rowie frowned as she watched his stilted, uncomfortable body language. "Vic, I think you and I should have a talk."

Remaining still by the doorway, Rowie watched him walk back across the room, slowly stopping in response to her words.

It was then that she saw the tears that had pooled in his eyes.

With a sigh, Rowie stepped towards him, reaching upwards to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "Oh, Vic." She sighed, tightening the hug, eventually feeling his hand loosely against her back. "I'm fine, you know," she reassured him confidently.

"I'll do anything I can to help," Vic eventually muttered, as he pulled back from the embrace.

Vic rubbed his nose several times, sniffling back the tears. "Told the coppers Guy'd been drinking and all. How you and he had words when you come in, everything I could remember." Vic frowned, "Even had to stop him drinkin' after half the bottle was gone."

Touching his shoulder for several moments, Rowie processed his words.

"Just wish someone had bloody done something. Steve, Johnno, we were all downstairs." Vic shook his head. "Promise ya one thing though, I so much as lay eyes on the mongrel again, I'll kill him."

Rowie frowned, seeing the determination on Vic's face.

"Don't say that. It won't change anything, Vic." Rowie felt her voice thin with emotion.

"I'm sorry, love," Vic turned his head sharply, feeling his face redden.

"I know." Rowie reached forwards to grasp his left hand, both standing in silence for several moments, as Vic cleared his throat.

"What are you going to do?" he shrugged, eventually looking back up at her.

"The same as I did a week ago. Work," Rowie answered determinedly.

Vic nodded, looking from Rowie back to the doorway. "Does your Dad know yet?"

Drawing a quick breath, Rowie shook her head. "I think we both know him well enough to know that he wouldn't understand, Vic. Please. I don't want him to know."

"But, somethin' like this." Vic shrugged, surprised when Rowie spoke sharply over him.

"No, Vic. Believe me, I don't need the added stress. He'd only use it as an excuse to start drinking anyway. And that's the last thing I want," Rowie reiterated strongly.

"Whatever you like," Vic conceded with several nods. "But if there's anything we can do, just sing out."

"Thanks." Rowie watched Vic amble back out into the corridor.

"Look, ah, Johnno, Jackie and Clare are all downstairs havin' dinner. Can't be all that good up here on your own?" Vic stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I just need some time to think. I've had people around me constantly for the last three days," Rowie replied. "I might come down a bit later."

"Whatever ya reckon." Vic nodded. "Night."

"Night," Rowie answered, watching him turn and walk slowly back down the corridor before she closed the door.

**XxXxX**

_2120, Saturday, 21/3/92_

"I'm sorry you got stuck with all the mess out here." Geoff looked up at Kate as he took a seat on the lounge with a freshly made cup of tea.

"We managed. Penny and Steve came back and helped. Vic and Nancy did a lot too." Kate smiled, putting away the rest of the clean dishes.

"Was a close call too," Geoff frowned. "Johnno pulled me out just in time I reckon." He thought back over the traumatic events of the day. "I can't believe how fixated I was on getting that woman out."

"You've gotta be more careful, hun." Kate shook her head, coming to join him on the couch. "We couldn't cope with losing you."

"That's what I can't believe. How I could just risk that. I mean, if Johnno hadn't," Geoff trailed off, realising he was going around in circles.

Kate rested her head on his shoulder. "The important thing is you're all right." She sighed, rubbing his chest several times. "How'd Row go out there?"

"Oh, she was fine." Geoff rubbed his eyes wearily. "Certainly put me in my place," he reflected upon their conversation at the hospital.

"Why do some people have everything bad happen to them? I mean, about the worst thing I've ever had happen, was that head injury, or the battery exploding. The most stress I've ever gone through was when Scarlett had to have surgery." She shook her head.

"I dunno, but it seems to go that way." Geoff shrugged. "Maybe it's just luck, maybe lack of social support, who knows?" Geoff sipped his tea resolutely. "All I want is a good night's sleep, have a nice lazy day tomorrow with my two beautiful girls." Geoff smiled, leaning over to kiss Kate.

"Haven't you got patients?" She frowned.

"Nope. Rowie's on duty tomorrow." Geoff saw Kate's sceptical expression. "I could hardly stop her."

"So we've got the entire day to ourselves?" Kate smiled mischievously.

"We sure do." Geoff reached forwards to place the mug on the coffee table. "And the entire night."

"Hey, I thought you were tired?" Kate protested, as he leaned over to pull her to her feet.

"I get to sleep in, don't I?" Geoff shrugged, resting his arms on her shoulders.

"Maybe we can continue that conversation we were having last week?" Kate reached for his hand and led him towards the hallway.

"Conversation?" Geoff frowned, disappointedly.

"You know, the one about Scarlett having lots of brothers and sisters?" Kate giggled.

"Talking's not going to accomplish much, you know." Geoff rolled his eyes.

"You don't say?" Kate rolled her eyes, as she pushed him along the hallway and up to their bedroom.

**XxXxX**

_2215, Saturday, 21/3/92_

After having tried to read, followed by pacing around the room more times than she could count, Rowie knew there was no point even thinking about going to bed yet.

Heading down the corridor, she waited at the top of the stairs, quickly realising that the pub would have just closed for the night. Making her way slowly and uncomfortably down the stairs, she stopped at the bottom, resting her left hand on the banister. It was then that Rowie heard the unmistakable sounds of laughter.

Slipping through the beaded doorway into the saloon, she immediately recognised Johnno and Jackie sitting at the table by the front door.

"And so, I wake up the next morning, only to realise I'm in someone else's bed, not to mention completely the wrong room!" Jackie laughed loudly.

"Sounds like you had some fun back then." Johnno smiled, working his way through yet another scotch and ice.

"Oh my God, it was insane, Johnno! I was actually pretty well behaved. This place is like the Hilton in comparison to the nurse's home I lived in during my training. Cleanliness was appalling!" Jackie finished her third gin and tonic for the evening. "What about you? You musta had your moments." She grinned.

"Haven't we all? Just doin' stupid stuff with mates, ya know." Johnno rolled his eyes.

"Yeah? Like what?" Jackie probed.

"Well, too much drinkin' that's for sure. Combine that with playing chicken around aircraft, wonder how we didn't get killed." Johnno chuckled, only then noticing Rowie standing in the corner of the room. "We've got company." Johnno smiled.

Jackie quickly turned her head, as Rowie hesitantly walked over towards the table. "Row, we're sharing war stories," Jackie smiled, gesturing for her to join them.

"You sound like you're having a great time, you don't want me interrupting. I was just coming down for a cup of tea." Rowie looked between Johnno and Jackie.

"Nah, nah, don't be silly." Johnno stood up and pulled out a chair. "Vic said we can help ourselves tonight. What'll you have?"

"Oh, nothing." Rowie shook her head definitely, as she realised both her colleagues were in moderate states of intoxication.

"Jac?" Johnno offered, walking over to the bar.

"Hmm," Jackie smiled. "What a dilemma! Are you sticking with the scotch?"

"Yup, it's goin' down way too smoothly," Johnno located the bottle of whiskey and looked back to Jackie for an answer. "Well?"

"Stuff it, that'll do. There's a first time for everything I guess." Jackie grinned as Johnno brought the bottle back to the table and refilled their glasses.

"Last chance?" Johnno looked over at Rowie.

Rowie shook her head. "So what did I miss?" she rested her chin in her right hand, leaning forwards.

"That you never want to live in a nurse's home from the sounds of it!" Johnno sipped his drink, looking at Jackie for confirmation.

"Oh, med students are worse, Johnno! Come on, Row, you must have some stories?" Jackie coaxed, nearly choking on the whiskey, "Johnno, how the hell do you drink this stuff?"

"You stop tasting it after a while," Johnno replied. "Jackie's right, what did you used to get up to all those years ago?"

Looking awkwardly between each of them, Rowie shook her head. "Nothing." She frowned, actually thinking back. "I suppose there were parties and things."

"Yeah, and?" Johnno prompted.

"Wasn't my scene." Rowie shrugged. "Alcohol lost its appeal well before I got to university."

Jackie looked over at Johnno, realising his jocularity was bordering on insensitive.

"So you never did anything you got to regret the next morning?" Johnno sighed.

"We had our fair share of practical jokes, I suppose." Rowie grinned. "Usually the women against the men."

"Such as?" Jackie continued, slowly thinking that maybe acting as if nothing had changed might just be what Rowie wanted.

"Okay, well about the best one I can think of, off the top of my head, is what my friend Cathy and I did to a couple of the male interns during our residency." Rowie sighed, feeling the smile spread across her face. "Jackie, you know what it's like, for some reason blood and other bodily fluids become the most hilarious concoctions imaginable."

"Don't get me started," Jackie rolled her eyes. "Things left in refrigerators I'll bet?"

"Oh no, better. It all started when these two interns placed Betadine-soaked sanitary pads in Cathy and my lab coats one day," Rowie paused, seeing Johnno screw up his face.

"Aw, come on, I'm drinkin' here!" Johnno protested.

"You asked," Rowie reminded.

"So what'd you do, what'd you do?" Jackie's eyes glimmered.

"We thought we'd repay the favour. We put ultrasound gel in condoms and stuck them back in Michael and Adrian's lab coats." Rowie paused, "Except," she drew a breath.

"Oh, stop!" Johnno swallowed, placing his glass down on the table.

"Except what!" Jackie cackled, thoroughly exhilarated, able to imagine exactly how the situation would have played out.

"Except that our chief registrar grabbed Adrian's lab coat by mistake. No-one knew until we were all in an examination room studying an x-ray, when Dr Bernard put his hand into his pocket and pulled out the condom." Rowie drew a breath. "So, after everyone had picked themselves up off the ground laughing, Dr Bernard found Adrian's name badge in the top pocket, and poor Adrian got the blame for the whole thing."

"So you two never got found out?" Johnno asked hesitantly.

"Well, Cathy had put the other condom into Michael's lab coat, and a few hours later, the same thing happened to him. And so Adrian took the blame for that as well." Rowie smiled, meeting eyes with Jackie in total understanding.

"Oh, sounds like the two of you had a ball." Jackie giggled. "Come on, what pranks did you fall for?"

"What, besides the typical sanitary pad incidents that all female med students have to endure?" Rowie rolled her eyes. "Um, in third year, once the sleep deprivation had really kicked in, I was asleep and my roommates conspired to change the time on my watch and all the other clocks in the room. I thought I'd slept right through the night and that it was nine o'clock the next morning instead of four o'clock in the afternoon. Just silly stuff really. And then of course there's a million ways you can shock people with apple juice and methylene blue, aren't there?" Rowie spoke knowingly.

"We haven't had some good fun like that around here in years." Jackie screwed up her face, remembering the prank Johnno pulled on Guy just after he arrived.

"Geoff's got a sense of humour, hasn't he?" Johnno shrugged.

"I dunno, what do you say we all find out?" Jackie giggled.

"Yes!" Rowie encouraged, looking between both of her colleagues keenly.


	17. Chapter 17 - He said, She said

Chapter 17 – He said, She said

**XxXxX**

_0920, Sunday, 22/3/92_

_One Day Later_

Clare glanced over the headlines over the newspaper, as she chewed on a piece of Vegemite toast.

"Gawd those two got stuck in last night, didn't they?" Vic muttered under his breath.

"Johnno and Jackie?" Clare looked up, seeing him studying the half-empty bottle of scotch.

"Both of 'em by the looks." Vic shook his head. "Aw, I don't mind or nothin', just a little surprised."

"Apparently they had a horrendous day yesterday, Vic," Clare explained.

"Yeah, I'll bet." Vic frowned, leaning over the bar to keep eye contact with Clare.

"I think the last few days have taken their toll on Jackie," Clare reflected, reaching for her cup of tea. "What about you, Vic? Sleeping any better?"

"Mmm," Vic nodded. "Sleep even better once Guy Reid's hangin' from the nearest tree. Bloody animal."

"Well, if it's anything like what Steve had to go through, Rowie's got a long road ahead of her yet." Clare took a thoughtful sip of her tea.

Vic came around to the other side of the bar, placing the stools down on the ground. He turned at the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Morning Vic." Rowie smiled softly as she pushed through the beaded doorway, medical bag clasped in her right hand.

"Morning love," he muttered. "Having some breakfast?"

Rowie shook her head, only then noticing Clare in the bistro. "I've got rounds. Morning Clare."

"Morning," Clare smiled softly, watching in silence as Rowie quickly left through the front door of the Saloon.

"Hmm." Vic shook his head worriedly.

"I know what you mean." Clare sighed, taking another sip of tea.

**XxXxX**

_1410, Sunday, 22/3/92_

Jackie sat at the desk of the nurse's station, trying to focus on the patient notes in front of her, despite the pain and fogginess of her headache. Massaging her temples slowly, she regretted every glass of whiskey she'd consumed the night before.

Slowly dropping her eyes closed, Jackie could still hear the sound of the car exploding.

"Don't tell me you two kept going last night?" Rowie strode out from the men's ward, seeing the agonised look of pain on Jackie's face.

"Sorry?" Jackie opened her eyes quickly.

"Last night. Just how much did you two drink?" Rowie walked around to the shelves behind the desk, replacing the patient file.

"Don't ask. If you ever see me go near whiskey again," Jackie trailed off resolutely. "How's Tim?" she changed the subject.

Rowie frowned, thinking back over the examination. "Oh, he's got paracetamol prn, still saying he's got pain though."

"Paracetamol prn sounds like a wonderful idea." Jackie pushed the chair back.

A soft smile coming to her lips, Rowie placed her hand on Jackie's shoulder. "Stay there, I'll get it."

Nodding with appreciation, Jackie lowered her head back down to the desk, not sure what was worse, the headache or the nausea.

Feeling her eyes drop closed, the nurse nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound the phone ringing next to her.

Opening her eyes, Jackie was about to reach for the phone, when she saw Rowie get to it first.

"Cooper's Crossing hospital, Dr Lang." Rowie handed Jackie the silver tray of paracetamol tables that she had just retrieved from the drugs chest.

Nodding in gratitude, Jackie stood from the desk and was just about to go searching for a glass of water when she heard the conversation develop.

"No, I'm fine." Rowie leaned back against the edge of the desk. "I suspect Geoff was overreacting, Jim."

Jackie stopped abruptly at the drugs trolley and turned back to listen.

"Look, is this a courtesy call as to my fitness for duty, or are you following up on yesterday's emergency?" Rowie redirected sharply. "Yes, there were two fatalities. Are we performing the autopsies here, or," Rowie heard Jim Anderson speak over her once again.

"Right. First thing tomorrow morning, will do." Rowie tapped the biro against the corner of the desk in frustration.

Jackie leaned against the wall and tried to follow the one-sided conversation.

"Ah, the last I heard, there's a warrant out." Rowie sighed, not appreciating the new subject matter of the conversation. "Why, what did Dr Standish say?"

Jackie saw the worried look sweep across Rowie's face.

"Ah, it's complicated." Rowie chewed on her lower lip. "Jim, as Geoff has already told you I'm sure, all we need is a replacement doctor." Rowie saw Jackie step back closer towards the desk in concern.

"Want me to deal with him?" Jackie offered, reaching forwards for the phone.

Rowie shook her head determinedly. "Well, now that he's suspended, I'm not quite sure why it matters?" Rowie wasn't about to give in to Jim Anderson's intimidation. "As I've told you, I'm back on duty. We'll get the bodies to Sydney by ten. Right." Rowie quickly hung up the phone, standing from the edge of the desk and crossing her arms.

"That didn't sound fun," Jackie muttered sympathetically.

"I'm so bloody sick of this." Rowie shook her head angrily and walked through to the examination office, slamming the door closed behind her.

Deciding not to follow after her, Jackie looked down at the paracetamol in her hand and went to search for a glass of water.

**XxXxX**

_1430, Sunday, 22/3/92_

Clare adjusted the basket on her right arm, as she stepped out from the general store, spotting Elsie and Nancy engaged in conversation by Elsie's green car.

"Here we go," Clare muttered to herself, striding over purposefully to greet the two ladies.

"Oh, afternoon Clare!" Nancy waved cheerfully, desperate to get away from Elsie by that point.

"Clare! My, haven't you all been busy these days." Elsie smiled, as Clare approached Nancy's side.

"Oh you heard about the emergency yesterday?" Clare sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was going.

"I ain't talkin' about yesterday. What's this about Rowie endin' up in hospital last week?" Elsie looked between Nancy and Clare eagerly.

"Elsie, now you know better than that," Clare reprimanded, touching Nancy's shoulder.

"And that other doctor dissapearin' out of the blue like that? Sounds as though all hell is breakin' loose with you lot." Elsie shook her head.

"Yes, well, you can pass on to the gossips that everything is absolutely fine now." Clare smiled.

"Aw, come on Clare, what's the story? I heard Doc Reid and the nurse were gettin' married," Elsie prodded. "And then he just disappears like that? Makes ya wonder, don't it?" she smiled cheekily.

"What, Guy and Jackie?" Nancy frowned.

Elsie smiled, "Always said that one was the love 'em and leave 'em type."

"We'd better be going, hadn't we Nancy?" Clare gripped Nancy's arm more forcefully.

"Hey, hang on," Elsie looked over at Clare deliberately. "So what's the story with Rowie then?"

"Oh, ah," Nancy swallowed awkwardly.

"Just a fall wasn't it, Nancy?" Clare insisted.

"Ah, yes. Nothing to worry about." Nancy smiled through clenched teeth.

**XxXxX**

_1445, Sunday, 22/3/92_

"Cup of tea?" Jackie stepped into the examination room, as Rowie looked up from the desk.

"Thanks," Rowie sighed. "How you feeling?"

"I'll live," Jackie shrugged. "All my own fault anyway." She placed the cup of tea on the desk.

Rowie looked up slowly from the paperwork. "Sorry about earlier."

"Forget it, I'm just glad you didn't let me talk to him," Jackie answered furiously.

"I always knew Jim Anderson was one of the worst aspects of being Chief Medical Officer, now I know why. He's so bloody persistent." Rowie reached forward to take the cup of tea.

"Just tell him to mind his own business." Jackie shrugged.

"I was getting there." Rowie rolled her eyes. "So what time did you finally get to bed this morning?"

Jackie looked around the room, trying to remember. "Would have been at least three. Nah, was good to let off some steam, really. I'm just paying for it today."

"I've never known Johnno to drink like that," Rowie replied.

"No. He's pretty angry, Row. You know, the usual macho stuff; feels like he shoulda done something." She screwed up her face.

"Men." Rowie shook her head. "And you know what really gets to me about all of this, it's the looks I'm getting from Johnno, Vic, practically every male around this place, except Geoff. _They're_ the ones making me feel like a victim, not _him_."

"It'll pass," Jackie consoled with a small smile.

"So anyway, when are we going to get Geoff?" Rowie clasped her hands together eagerly.

"Get him?" Jackie frowned, only then remembering their chat from the previous night. "Oh, hmm," she smiled. "Let's think about it, shall we?"

**XxXxX**

_0745, Monday, 23/3/92_

_One Day Later_

Clare had just finished turning on the lights, when she heard the sound of footsteps behind her.

"You two are here early, aren't you?" she frowned as Johnno and Rowie paced quickly into the office behind her.

"Early morning flight to Sydney," Johnno replied.

"And you?" Clare raised an eyebrow, as she paced over to the fax machine by the window.

"Getting ready for the new doctor," Rowie answered.

"Who is he, anyway?" Johnno shrugged disinterestedly.

"It's not a 'he', actually." Clare smiled, looking down at the fax that had come through from head office over the weekend. "Jim's gone all-out apparently. Dr Susan O'Grady spent many years on the RFDS board of directors. She's taken temporary leave from her position at the Prince of Wales hospital in Sydney. She's even worked as a flying doctor before, back in the seventies."

Rowie frowned, arriving behind Clare to read the fax over her shoulder.

"Jeez Clare, how old is this woman?" Johnno looked sceptical.

"How in the world should I know? What does it matter? Be nice to have another woman around this place." Clare slipped her glasses from her nose.

"Hmm," Johnno shrugged, piling maps and other paraphernalia into his flight bag. "I'm outa here."

"The ambulance officers are meeting you at the strip with the bodies at 0900 Johnno." Rowie glanced down at her brown leather watch.

"Yup" He nodded and walked back towards the hallway.

Clare watched Rowie turn sharply at the sound of the glass door closing.

Clare paused before speaking. "So, ah, is Geoff in today?"

"To the best of my knowledge." Rowie shrugged, heading for the coffee pot across the room.

"I'll get started with the personnel forms for Dr O'Grady." Clare smiled.

"Ah, thanks," Rowie shook her head, feeling the effects of the lack of sleep from the previous night. "Coffee, Clare?"

Clare looked up from the filling cabinet, where she was compiling the documentation for the replacement doctor.

"No, thanks," Clare replied, slowly crossing the room. "Didn't see you in the bistro last night?"

"No, I was at the hospital until after dark." Rowie wiped her right eye wearily.

"You're going to have to face this eventually you know. You can't just run away from it. Things like this have a way of catching up with you, whether you like it or not." Clare spoke slowly.

"I'm fine, Clare. As I've said to both Geoff and Jackie, I just want to forget about it." Rowie kept her gaze fixed on the coffee dripping down into the pot.

"Yes, but you can't just forget about it," Clare protested.

"Clare, I don't need the lecture." Rowie folded her arms tightly.

"All right." Clare shrugged. "I know better than to fuss over you. But the longer you keep denying this, the harder it's going to be to deal with it." Clare had taken several steps back across the room when she heard Rowie speak.

"And how precisely do I deal with this Clare? I've been through the medical exam, I've reported it to the police, I've done everything that I'm supposed to do." Rowie looked up at Clare slowly. "So tell me, what's the prognosis? How long does this usually take to go away?" she muttered cynically.

Clare nodded, appreciating that she'd hit a nerve. She softened her voice. "Well, have you spoken to anyone? Jackie? Kate? I mean friends, not the police." Clare interlocked her fingers against her stomach as she leant back against Johnno's desk.

"Geoff," Rowie answered quickly.

"That's a start," Clare replied. "How much sleep did you get last night, Rowie?" she continued with a knowing expression.

"Not much," Rowie answered honestly.

"And the night before?" Clare continued.

"About the same," Rowie shook her head, "Clare I spent the three years of my internship, grabbing two hours here and three hours there. Sleep deprivation doesn't bother me."

"Maybe not." Clare spoke as gently as she could. "Rowie, shortly after I gave Steve up for adoption, I had a nervous breakdown. I guess they'd call it depression now, I don't know. What I do know, is that the longer I kept pushing myself with work, the more rundown I got trying to convince myself I was coping; the further I fell when I did eventually drop. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself."

"What am I meant to do, Clare? Sit around feeling sorry for myself?" Rowie answered sarcastically, stepping forwards to pour a cup of coffee.

"No, of course not. But when's the last time you had a holiday?" Clare raised an eyebrow, "When your father was ill, wasn't it?"

Slowly, Rowie nodded.

"At least think about it?" Clare shrugged.

Looking down at the black cup of coffee, Rowie felt herself startle at the sound of the phone ringing from across the room.

Clare answered the phone, only to be met with a curt request from Detective Louise Hughes to speak with Rowie.

Carrying the cup of coffee through to her office, Rowie had just taken a sip, when Clare transferred the call through to her.

"Detective Hughes?" she felt professionalism kick in immediately.

"Dr Lang, I've got some updates for you; is now a suitable time to talk?" Louise spoke tentatively.

"Sure," Rowie insisted.

"Well, as you know, there was a warrant issued for Dr Reid's arrest as of Thursday afternoon. His car was eventually spotted yesterday morning in Melbourne, and he was brought in for questioning around lunchtime yesterday." Louise cleared her throat, looking down at the open case file before her.

"What's he saying?" Rowie sighed.

"He obtained a defence lawyer immediately, which says it all. Simon and I spent over five hours questioning him yesterday afternoon, but there's not much his lawyer will let him say." Louise trailed off, allowing time for the news to sink in.

"What happens now?" Rowie frowned.

"We're still waiting on the forensic results, but there's arraignment later today. Hopefully the physical evidence, along with the medical documentation will be enough to secure bail, but," Louise drew a breath.

"But you don't think it will be," Rowie interjected coldly.

"Ordinarily, there wouldn't be a question. But he's got one of the best criminal defence lawyers in the country, I'm afraid. And, ah, I didn't say this, but, he's pretty slick, isn't he?" Louise kept her voice low.

"I told you what he was like, Louise. I knew this would be a struggle." Rowie sighed.

"He's playing the victim card at the moment, claiming that it's just a false allegation, stemming from all the professional problems between the two of you for the past six months or so. We're not buying it, but, I wanted to keep you informed." Louise turned several pages of the case file, glancing over the photographic evidence.

"So what, he's trying to make this out to be consensual?" Rowie clarified.

"He's not giving us anything at the moment. Everything is no comment this, no comment that," Louise hesitated.

"What's he saying? Just tell me," Rowie prompted, sensing the other women's awkwardness.

"Well, through his lawyer, all we're getting is that this is a personal attack against him, founded on jealousy and professional rivalry. That you've conspired to alienate him from other colleagues. That you slandered him in divulging the details of an affair he was having to his current partner."

"Jesus Christ, Louise. That's how this all happened in the first place." Rowie sighed. "Look, he and I had this conversation weeks ago. I told him I had no intention of telling either Jackie or Penny about the affair. I specifically didn't want to end up in the middle of this mess. And look how that turned out." Rowie remembered the conversation she'd had in Guy's room. "So, is he even admitting that intercourse took place?"

"His lawyer won't let him discuss it, Rowie. That's why we're waiting for the forensics. Look, we'll have no trouble proving that. We've got DNA, we've got thorough medical evidence as well as the photographic evidence. What we need to prepare as soon as possible is your formal statement. I know we discussed it last week, but it was only preliminary at that point. You've given expert testimony before, haven't you?" Louise asked.

"Well, yes, but, as a physician." Rowie frowned.

"You'll be fine. Look, it's up to you. We're in Melbourne for the rest of today, and back in Broken Hill tonight. Either I can try and get back to Cooper's Crossing tomorrow, or, if you can fax a statement to me, we can review it over the phone tomorrow?" Louise spoke candidly.

"The less of a police presence here the better as far as gossip-containment is concerned. So, what do you mean a statement?" Rowie trailed off questioningly.

"Just type up exactly what happened that night. From the time he entered your room," Louise instructed.

"Well, how clinical should this be? I've written expert testimony reports and they're extremely detached." Rowie shrugged.

"No, that's good. The more clinical the language, the better. But, it's important that you add the thoughts and feelings you experienced throughout the assault." Louise softened her voice. "Just start with something preliminary today if you can. We can work on it. All right?" Louise paused, "Rowie?"

"Yeah, all right," she answered quickly.

"And I've got the details of a rape crisis counsellor for you to contact when you're ready. She's a psychologist; I spoke to her on Friday. She's aware that you're a GP, working in a rural location, and that you were sexually assaulted by a colleague. No names, places, nothing. That's up to you when you contact her." Louise waited for a response.

"Louise, I don't know if I'm ready for this to take over my life just yet." Rowie hesitated. "You want me to write up a statement, contact this psychologist; quite frankly, I just want to forget about it all."

"That's perfectly normal. But please, trust me when I tell you, you won't forget. The more you talk about it, the more you work through the feelings you're going to experience, as you experience them, the less of a negative impact on your life this will have, and the quicker you will feel as though you've resolved it. Now, can I give you her contact details?" Louise pressed.

"All right." Rowie quickly scribbled down the name and telephone number.

"Look, she knows the hours you work, and she's happy to take calls up until eight in the evening," Louise reassured.

"Well hopefully today will be pretty quiet. We've got a replacement doctor arriving in an hour or so, and only two patients in hospital at the moment. I'll get started on a statement for you ASAP. Fax number?" Rowie requested, again writing down the details.

"I'll let you know the outcome of the arraignment today, but I wouldn't hold your breath. Depending on this afternoon's outcome, we will contact the New South Wales medical board and arrange a temporary suspension of his medical registration, pending the outcome of the committal hearing." Louise closed the file in front of her, preparing to draw the conversation to a close.

"That's a victory in itself I guess." Rowie sighed. "I just can't believe he hasn't done something like this before."

"Well, we think he has," Louise spoke awkwardly.

"What?" Rowie swallowed.

"He was too prepared. He practically had his lawyer meet us at the station yesterday. He knows the system too well. We're going to do some digging for the next few days, go through his employment history. It's unlikely that he would commit a rape straight out, without any previous abusive behaviour. Hopefully we will find something," Louise lowered her voice. "Rowie, I need to know, do you have any concerns about your safety at this point. Did he make any overt threats?"

Rowie shook her head. "No. He wouldn't be stupid enough to come back here. There are at least two people who would probably kill him if he did."

"Regardless, we'll put through a restraining order today," Louise answered. "Look, I know it's an awful lot to absorb. But try and take it one day at a time for now. It will probably be around two or three months until the committal hearing. You just worry about you for now, let us do the rest," Louise finished.

"Right," Rowie muttered, feeling thoroughly overwhelmed.

"You can contact me at any time, you know that. And please, try and call the psychologist as soon as possible." Louise waited for a response.

"I'll get the statement to you by the end of the day, unless we have an emergency," Rowie answered.

"Look after yourself, okay?" Louise concluded.

"Yeah." Rowie hung up the phone with a sigh.

Glancing tiredly around the room, she scarcely knew where to begin.

"Typewriter," Rowie muttered under her breath, getting to her feet and opening the glass paned door.


	18. Chapter 18 - Intimidation

Chapter 18 - Intimidation

**XxXxX**

_1255, Monday, 23/3/92_

Jackie strolled out from the men's ward, clipboard in her left hand.

"Hi!" she called, seeing Geoff and an older woman with a neat blond bob of hair talking in the reception area.

"Sr Jackie Crane, Dr Sue O'Grady," Geoff introduced the two women.

"Oh, lovely to meet you." Jackie smiled warmly.

"And you." Sue nodded. "Geoff's been making me feel quite at home."

"You can't have been here that long?" Jackie raised an eyebrow.

"Ah, nearly a whole hour I think," the petite doctor replied.

"Are you staying at the pub?" Jackie continued.

"Apparently that's where everyone stays until they get married around here," Sue smiled, glancing over at Geoff.

"I'll leave you two." Geoff smiled, stepping back discretely.

"Oh, so you haven't got family?" Jackie watched as Geoff headed towards the men's ward.

"Please. I'm 47, divorced, with three children who don't need me anymore, except when they run out of money." Sue rolled her eyes with a smile.

"So what made you want to come out to a place like Cooper's Crossing?" Jackie rolled her eyes, gesturing over to the soft green chairs in the waiting area.

Sue smiled as they both sat down.

"Oh, I was a flying doctor straight out of residency, in Broken Hill. I was working in Sydney, but well, we heard you needed a hand out here, so I was able to transfer for a while," Sue answered.

"It's been a hectic week to say the least." Jackie frowned. "How much has Geoff told you?" she asked suspiciously.

"That you had a doctor unexpectedly leave on you," Sue shrugged.

"Yeah," Jackie paused. "Anything else?"

Sue shook her head curiously, "Why, what's the rest of the story?"

"Ah, it's a bit complicated. He and I were involved," Jackie answered awkwardly.

"Well, if it's anything like I remember Broken Hill being, everyone ends up involved with everyone else at some stage." Sue chuckled knowingly. "Although I was a lot younger back then."

With a nod, Jackie got to her feet, "Shall I finish showing you around?"

"Sure." Sue shrugged and followed quickly after Jackie.

**XxXxX**

"And you're not having any difficulties breathing?" Rowie clasped her hands on the edge of the overweigh, remaining quite deliberately at the end of the bed.

"No, just hurts like hell, Doc." Timothy shook his head, as Rowie reached for the blue folder at the end of the bed.

"Well, you've had pain relief only two hours ago, Tim. There's not a lot more we can do." Rowie hung the folder back over the end of the bed. "Where is it hurting in particular?" Rowie reached for the stethoscope around her neck as she walked along the side of the bed.

Pushing up the top of his pyjamas, the young man indicated the heavily bruised area to the right of his sternum.

Bringing the stethoscope to her ears, Rowie leant forwards to listen to his lungs. "I just need to you breathe in," she paused, listening intently for any sounds of pulmonary complications, "and out," she instructed, glancing determinedly at the bell of the stethoscope against his bruised chest.

"And again. Can you try and breathe any deeper?" Rowie frowned.

Tentatively, the young man took a deeper breath. "Hurts," he groaned.

Aware of her proximity to her patient's face when she felt the air brush against her left cheek, Rowie quickly pulled the stethoscope from her ears.

Hovering in the corridor of the men's ward, Geoff listened to the conversation taking place between Rowie and her patient.

"All right, let's see if we can get this pain under control." Rowie walked briskly back to the end of the bed, picking up the blue folder.

"Thanks, Doc," he muttered.

"Have you been out of bed yet?" Rowie asked, alternating her gaze between the chart and the patient.

"Not yet, hurts too much," he winced.

"Well, it's important we get you up and around. I'll get you something stronger for the pain." She replaced the folder and turned around to push back the curtain.

Stepping out into the hallway, Rowie felt her breath catch in her throat at the sound of an unexpected voice.

"Problem?" Geoff leaned against the wall of the corridor.

"No," Rowie replied suspiciously, as she walked down the corridor beside him.

"You busy? Want to you meet someone." Geoff continued out with her towards the nurse's station.

"So, Jackie showed you that underground tunnel leading back to the base?" he teased as they arrived back to the nurse's station.

"Oh, ha-ha." Jackie threw Geoff a cynical look.

"I can't believe you've only got one OR," Sue muttered. "Even in Broken Hill, they've got three."

"It's all we need, thankfully." Geoff watched curiously as Rowie turned to introduce herself to the new doctor.

"Hi, Rowie Lang." She stepped forwards to shake Sue's hand.

"Sue O'Grady." Sue returned the handshake warmly.

"So, Jackie was telling me you've only got two in-patients at the moment. Is that usual?" Sue looked between Geoff and Rowie for a response.

"Oh, it fluctuates," Rowie answered quickly.

"We'll usually have a couple, sometimes ten or more," Geoff continued.

Rowie walked around Sue, gesturing for Jackie to join her by the drugs trolley.

"Jackie, Timothy Roberts. I've ordered morphine, six-hourly in place of the Digesic," Rowie spoke quietly.

"Right, when's he next due?" Jackie asked.

"Well, last dose of Digesic was only two hours ago, but he's still complaining of pain," she answered, vaguely aware of Sue and Geoff talking behind her.

"I tried to encourage him out of bed this morning, he wasn't having a bar of it," Jackie contributed.

"Let's see how the morphine goes for now," Rowie shrugged.

"You think there's something else going on?" Jackie noticed the hesitation in Rowie's voice.

"Maybe?" Rowie looked up thoughtfully.

"Well, he is responsible for the death of four people, I'd be wanting something to put my lights out too," Jackie agreed.

"True." Rowie rested her hand on her hip. "All right, I'm just getting a cup of tea." She turned back to Sue.

"Sue, lovely to meet you." Rowie smiled. "You're staying at the pub?"

"Yes," Sue answered quickly.

"Well then I'll probably see you later on tonight." Rowie nodded, before departing from the group.

Geoff turned away and took several steps across the room. "Well, that's us. Sue, the rest of the day is yours. You've got all the paperwork from Clare, so settle in, and we'll see you tomorrow," Geoff spoke casually.

"Thanks Geoff," Sue replied.

Jackie and Sue watched silently as Geoff paced out towards the veranda and left the hospital.

Jackie decided to follow up on their conversation from earlier. "So tell me, what made you decide to do medicine after nursing?" She leaned against the desk eagerly.

Sue answered quickly with a smile, "Arrogant doctors."

"Tell me about it." Jackie rolled her eyes. "Oh, not these ones, fortunately."

"It was a different world back in the sixties; we were just starting to find our voice, and boy did some of the men fight it. I was still nursing part-time after having my kids, and just month by month, I was growing more frustrated by how some of the doctors were treating us, and their female patients." Sue saw the understanding look on Jackie's face.

"You must have some horror stories?" Jackie gestured to the chair by the desk.

"How long have you got?" Sue smiled, taking a seat.

"Well, I just need to administer this morphine, and then I think a cup of tea would be most welcome." Jackie gestured over to the men's ward.

"Do you need me to witness?" Sue offered, as Jackie looked down at the ampoule in her right hand.

"No, Row's signed off on it, I'll be right back." Jackie quickly headed towards the men's ward.

**XxXxX**

Having eventually ended up in the tea room, Rowie poured the boiling water into the teacup.

"Mind if I join you?" a female voice spoke from behind her.

"Not at all. Milk, sugar?" Rowie offered, reaching for another white cup and saucer.

"Just black," Sue replied, taking a seat at the table, watching as Rowie brought the two cups over and took a seat opposite her.

"So, you've worked for the RFDS before?" Rowie took a sip of her tea.

"Oh, when I was just out of my internship. Ah, early eighties," Sue answered.

Rowie nodded. "Where were you based?"

"Broken Hill," Sue answered, looking around the room.

With awkward, uncertain glances passing between the two doctors, Rowie wasn't sure if she took to this new woman.

"Ah, there you are." Jackie poked her head into the room.

"Sorry, I went wandering." Sue smiled.

"Yeah, I got caught up with a few things." Jackie shrugged, quickly pouring herself a cup of tea and joining them.

"Sue trained as an RN before going back and doing medicine." Jackie looked over at Rowie as she settled herself down at the table.

"Glutton for punishment, aren't we?" Rowie looked up from her cup of tea.

"It's given me a good perspective though," Sue answered.

"Oh yeah, so you treat your nurses better than most doctors do?" Jackie smiled, having taken to Sue immediately.

"I hope so! You can be the judge of that, can't you?" Sue looked between Rowie and Jackie. "Well, it will be nice having a stronger female presence for a change." Sue nodded.

"Yes, not having to worry about being groped in the OR will be a welcome improvement," Jackie laughed.

"I'd better get back to the base," Rowie spoke quickly, and stood from her seat.

"See you tonight?" Jackie looked up as Rowie rinsed out her cup and played it on a nearby trolley.

"Yup," Rowie muttered, and walked quickly from the room.

Jackie and Sue exchanged awkward glances, neither knowing whether to speak.

"Is she all right?" Sue asked hesitantly.

"Oh, shit," Jackie backtracked and realised what had prompted Rowie's hasty departure. She groaned to herself.

"What?" Sue frowned at the worried look on Jackie's face.

"Nothing," Jackie trailed off with a shake of her head.

**XxXxX**

_1625, Monday, 23/3/92_

"Well, he might be a pain in the behind, but Jim Anderson certainly came through in the end," Geoff glanced out of the window by the radio.

"The new doctor?" Clare looked up from the clipboard in her hands.

"What do you think?" Geoff ran his hand through his hair, walking over behind her.

"From the ten minutes I spent with her, she seems lovely." Clare smiled. "Nice to have a colleague around here who was born in the same decade as myself."

"Yeah, she's got more experience than me, I can tell you," Geoff shook his head. "Anyway, I'm having an early minute." He walked back to his office to collect his medical bag.

Rowie was vaguely aware of the conversation between Geoff and Clare, despite flicking through a recent medical journal. After skimming the abstracts of several articles, she knew she wasn't taking anything in.

_This is ridiculous._

Rowie dropped the journal back to the desk, glancing down at her watch.

_I don't have to be here._

She considered the alternative.

_I'd rather be here._

Reaching over for the MIMS desk reference, Rowie looked up at a knock on the pale green sliding door.

"I'm outa here," Geoff poked his head into the office.

Rowie sighed, "Yeah, I'm trying to convince myself to do the same."

"I can't imagine the pub is all that appealing?" Geoff shrugged in understanding. Slowly, he stepped into her office, bag in his right hand.

"It doesn't seem to make a difference where I am, to be honest." Rowie shrugged.

"It's early days," Geoff nodded encouragingly. "Any problems?" Geoff inquired gently.

"Between typing up a victim statement, physical recovery, and a second course of antibiotics, no," Rowie answered, with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"You all right?" Geoff frowned.

"UTI, par for the course. I'll live." She shrugged.

"Anything more than that, you come see me." Geoff swiftly changed the subject. "Get out of here. Go and have a meal with Jackie and Sue." Geoff shook his head.

"Yeah, I said I'd have a chat with Jackie tonight." Rowie nodded, giving in and getting to her feet.

"Rowie?" Both turned as Clare appeared in the doorway. "Phone call for you." Clare looked between each of the doctors hesitantly, "Detective Hughes."

"I'll, ah," Geoff pointed towards the door.

"Nah, it's all right," Rowie shrugged quickly, reaching for the phone.

"Rowie Lang," she answered without hesitation.

Geoff watched the cold, detached expression on Rowie's face as she listened to Louise's voice.

"So where do we go from here?" Rowie eventually asked.

Again, he watched her study the red pencil sharpener in front of her on the desk.

"Right, you anticipated as much. No, it's all right." Rowie sighed. "Thanks, bye." She hung up the phone and looked slowly around the office.

Geoff stood awkwardly in the room, not wishing to pry, but also feeling uncomfortable just walking out.

"He got bail, subject to a restraining order and a temporary suspension of his medical registration." She eventually made eye contact with Geoff. "I suppose that's as much as I could have hoped for."

Slowly Geoff nodded, unsure of what response was warranted.

"At least it's over now until the committal hearing." Rowie shook her head, standing from the desk and reaching for her medical bag.

"Look, ah," Geoff paused awkwardly. "I haven't mentioned anything to Sue beyond Guy leaving unexpectedly without notice last week. However, I think it would make life a lot easier if you were to, discretely, let her know. That's just my opinion." Geoff stuffed his right hand into his pocket as Rowie considered his words.

"I'll see how it goes, Geoff. She seems nice enough, but I don't know her. I'll think of something to tell her; perhaps just about the workplace conflict that existed. At least until we know where we stand with each other. I just," Rowie cringed painfully, "I don't think I can cope with one more person looking at me like a victim. That's probably why I'm trying to just avoid everyone altogether."

"No, I understand. Maybe bring Jackie up to speed on whatever you decide though. She means well, but she might have difficulty keeping this to herself." Geoff chewed on his lower lip, remembering his conversation with Jackie several days earlier.

"Yeah, I'll have a chat to her tonight." Rowie nodded, stepping towards the doorway. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he waved her out of the office with a half-hearted smile.

"Standish!" A loud, male voice filled the entire office space.

Rowie and Geoff locked eyes; both recognising the intimidating voice, but barely believing it.

Quickly walking through the doorway, Geoff positioned himself strategically between Rowie and Jim Anderson, just as the older doctor arrived in front of them.

"Ever heard of a phone, Jim?" Geoff demanded, hands arriving to his hips.

"I'm sorry, Geoff, I tried to call you," Clare apologised, looking worried between Rowie and their superior.

Jim Anderson was chief medical officer of the Royal Flying Doctor Service's National Base, in Sydney. A balding, stocky man in his late sixties, he was an imposing presence, even when in a good mood.

And he was not in a good mood.

He wasted no time, in moving around Geoff, quickly looking Rowie up and down.

"Well?" he demanded, not sure if he believed the information he had received.

"Leave her alone!" Geoff frowned, not about to be bullied by his senior officer, and prepared to defend his colleague at all cost.

"Now I see why you were spinning all those lines to me, Standish. Didn't want to tell me the truth. Talk about a bloody disaster! RFDS doctor raped by fellow doctor, is the phrase I've heard more times today than I care to count. I've got media screaming at me for comment on something I didn't even know about until five hours ago. So I thought I'd pay you all a visit. Get to the bottom of all this. Dr Lang? I believe an explanation is in order," Jim fumed.

"Just what do you think gives you the right," Geoff demanded, as he moved back in front of Rowie defensively.

"No, it's all right, Geoff," Rowie interjected, moving forwards until she was standing next to Geoff. "What do you want me to say?"

"Well, I'd like you to tell me this is all a mistake, but that's not going to happen, is it?" Jim looked around the room, noticing the expression of pure contempt on the radio operator's face.

"She's not answerable to you. Get the hell out of here!" Geoff bellowed.

"Not a chance, Standish. Whether Dr Lang likes it or not, _I'm_ answerable for the actions of the staff under me. I've got reporters and the board of directors breathing down my neck over this. Now what am I going to tell them?"

"That Dr Reid is a rapist," Rowie stated crisply, without so much as a blink.

Geoff looked between Rowie and Jim, waiting for a reaction.

"Well? You got what you wanted, now get out!" Geoff ordered, feeling his jaw clench in anger.

"Why the hell didn't we hear about this before now?" Jim continued.

"Because it's none of anyone's bloody business!" Clare crossed the room, having stayed silent long enough. "Geoff's right, you've absolutely no right storming in here, demanding explanations!"

Both Rowie and Geoff turned towards Clare in astonishment, never having heard her so much as raise her voice before.

Jim drew a long, calming breath. "So, that's your version of events, is it Dr Lang? Just where is this alleged rape supposed to have occurred?"

"I've told you once, I won't tell you again. Dr Lang isn't answerable to you. This is a private incident that occurred in off-duty hours. So you can stop protecting your legal arse, Jim!" Geoff seethed, now knowing exactly why Jim Anderson was so curious as to the specifics of the incident.

Jim nodded thoughtfully, alternating his glance between Geoff and Rowie several times, before tucking his left hand into his pocket.

"I see," he eventually muttered. "Just you make sure the media see it that way."

"Is that a threat, Jim? Because I happen to know head office were aware of the workplace conflict that existed between Dr Lang and Dr Reid, well before this escalation." Geoff stepped closer, not in the least bit put off by the older doctor who towered over him.

Jim shrugged, casually. "Nothing was formally reported. There are no complaints of harassment on file."

"That's right. Slither your way out of this," Geoff lowered his voice.

"There's nothing to slither out of, is there? Like you said, this was a private matter. No reason to bring the Service into this."

Geoff shrugged. "Oh, I think if Dr Lang was so inclined, she'd have an excellent case for workplace harassment. And we both know, that sort of public attention is the last thing the Service needs; funding is already at unprecedentedly low levels."

"Look, we can all agree that it's in everyone's best interests to keep this as confidential as possible," Jim spoke in a strangely considerate tone.

Rowie looked over at Geoff, trying to gauge where Jim was going with his altered attitude.

"Surely, you agree Dr Lang, it's not appropriate for the Service to involve itself in such a matter?" Jim looked sternly at Rowie.

Rowie gave a disgusted scoff. "That's why you weren't _told_ about it in the first place."

"Now get out of here," Geoff demanded.

"What, not even going to offer me a cup of tea? Where's that outback hospitality this place is renowned for?" Jim smirked. "Trust your replacement arrived safe and sound?"

Geoff paused, feeling the tension slowly abate. "Dr O'Grady is over at the hospital."

"Right, well, since I'm here, I'll make sure she's settling in." Jim turned, about to leave, when Geoff's voice stopped him.

"Jim," Geoff cleared his throat awkwardly. "We would appreciate it, if you kept the details of your visit from Sue."

Jim scoffed, "You mean you haven't told her of the hornet's nest she's been dropped into?"

"It's not appropriate at this stage. She will be told. When, is at Dr Lang's discretion." Geoff looked back to Rowie.

Jim looked between both of them. "Right."

Rowie watched as the older man left the office; just as quickly as he had arrived.

As he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, Geoff waited until the glass door had slammed closed. "Bloody hell."

"He's got a nerve," Clare growled.

"You did well." Geoff smiled softly, meeting eyes with Rowie.

"I can hold my own, Geoff." Rowie paused. "Recent history notwithstanding." She loathed being patronised.

"All he gave a damn about was the media!" Geoff replied in exasperation.

"And making sure I wasn't going to sue the Service," Rowie commented.

"They have got a case to answer, you know," Geoff considered.

"Why on earth would I would any more attention than I've already got?" Rowie answered, before pacing out towards the front door without so much as looking at either Geoff or Clare.

"That bastard," Clare sighed, exchanging worried looks with Geoff.

"Which one?" Geoff turned toward her with a raised eyebrow.

**XxXxX**

_1945, Monday, 23/3/92_

"Johnno, you live here too?" Sue placed her cutlery together on her plate and folded her arms on the table in front of her.

"For the time being. Workin' on renovating a place I've got." Johnno chewed on a chip as he answered Sue's question.

"It's ah, a bit boring until you get used to it, I'm afraid," Jackie added. "When we're not working, there's drinking, pool, whatever you'd normally do in your spare time I guess." Jackie shrugged.

"I'm sure I'll get used to it. I do a lot of reading, so, between that and work, it should be quite relaxing." Sue looked around as Nancy began taking their dinner plates away.

"You'll get good at playing pool, that's if you're not already?" Clare looked over to Sue, who was sitting on her right.

"Now that takes me back. We had a pool table when the kids were growing up." Sue smiled, with a shake of her head.

"Ah, the good old days," Jackie chuckled.

"Please, don't say old. Why, you lot can't be much older than my three?" Sue shrugged, not sure whether she expected an answer.

"Ladies first." Johnno raised his eyebrows teasingly.

"Well, I'm older than the lot of you; next." Clare turned to Jackie.

"Just turned 28," Jackie answered.

"I'll be thirty in August," Rowie continued. "That just leaves the baby," she threw Johnno a patronising look.

"Oh, ha, ha," he shook his head. "Nearly 27," he muttered.

"Five months away is not nearly, Johnno," Rowie corrected.

"Hang on, hang on, Geoff's not here." Jackie smiled.

"Yeah, how old is he, anyway?" Johnno frowned. "Know he's older than Kate. And she's what, two years older than you, right Row?"

"Yup," Rowie answered.

A lingering silence hovered over the table until they all slowly turned to Clare.

"Don't look at me," Clare objected.

"Aw, come on Clare, you've got access to all the personnel files," Johnno pleaded.

"Let's just say he's quite a bit older than Kate, but not as far up there as Sue." Clare smiled knowingly.

"Spoil-sport." Johnno glanced around the room. "Anyone for a game of pool? Show Sue how it's done?"

"Nah, going to have an early night I think." Jackie glanced subtly in Rowie's direction as they both got to their feet.

"You can teach Sue all on your own," Rowie answered. "Night Clare."

"Night." Clare watched as Rowie and Jackie departed from the group.

"What, are those two joined at the hip or something?" Sue finished her glass of white wine.

"Oh, no, not usually," Clare dismissed.

"Things aren't exactly usual round here at the moment though." Johnno sighed, likewise finishing his beer and getting up from the table. "Clare, seen Steve around?"

"No, sorry Johnno," Clare answered.

"Might go see if he's over at the Garage. Night Sue, see you in the morning. You'll get to meet our other team-member." Johnno walked across the bistro, towards the front door.

"Huh?" Sue turned to Clare.

"Oh, the Nomad." Clare glanced over at Sue with a smile.

"You're still using those things?" Sue asked surprised. "We were in a Nomad back in the early eighties in Broken Hill."

"Let's just hope it's not the same one." Clare smiled. "Coffee, tea?"

"Why not? It's either that or face a multitude of suitcases to unpack." Sue shook her head at the thought.

"Coffee, it is!" Clare patted Sue's arm affectionately.


	19. Chapter 19 - Support

Chapter 19 - Support

**XxXxX**

_2010, Monday, 23/3/92_

"You all settled in?" Jackie followed Rowie into her room and closed the door.

"Yeah." Rowie gestured to the chair next to the bed. "Have a seat."

Jackie sat down as Rowie nestled herself on the bed. "So?" Jackie redirected the conversation awkwardly.

"What do you think of Sue?" Rowie looked up, knowing that wasn't what Jackie was asking.

"_Rowie_!" Jackie glared.

"He got bail," she spoke quickly, predicting Jackie's outburst.

"He _what?_ Are they insane?" Jackie frowned.

"Apparently it was pretty much a given," Rowie shrugged. "He's got a top-notch defence attorney, not that that surprises me." Rowie paused. "They've suspended his medical license and he's under a restraining order, so, it could be worse."

"Well, that's something, but still. Jeez the legal system infuriates me." Jackie gripped the wooden arms of the chair angrily.

"The committal hearing's in a couple of months. That'll be the hard part." Rowie rolled her eyes. "I just wish I could forget all about it."

"Yeah," Jackie sympathised. "How've you been sleeping?"

"You are as bad as Geoff." Rowie shook her head, trying not to be too annoyed. "Sorry. I don't do the patient-role very well."

"You certainly don't have to tell me that," Jackie replied. "Geoff tore me to shreds when he thought I'd removed your IV without orders."

"What?" Rowie looked up from the new bedspread.

"_You_ removed the cannula yourself, in the time it took me to cross the room." Jackie shook her head. She sighed, seeing the perplexed look on Rowie's face. "So how much of last week do you remember anyway?"

"You coming in, the ambulance. Just bits and pieces." Rowie pulled an uncomfortable expression, preferring not to think about it.

"Midazolam's a wonderful thing." Jackie sighed.

"I guess." Rowie glanced around the room, before looking back to Jackie. "You know Jim Anderson showed up at the base this afternoon?"

"He didn't?" Jackie met Rowie's eyes immediately.

"Oh, he did. Apparently word got to head office about it. God only knows how long it'll be before Elsie or one of the other gossips find out." Rowie cringed.

"It's no-one's business," Jackie insisted, shaking her head in contempt.

Rowie shrugged. "You haven't lived in a small town, have you?" Rowie smirked knowingly. "_They_ decide what is and what isn't their business."

"Still," Jackie trailed off. "How you going physically?" Jackie rested her chin in her right hand as she changed the subject.

"The bruises have just about faded. But the rest is still a constant reminder," Rowie spoke in a clinically detached tone. "You didn't say anything to Sue, did you?"

"Of course not, Row," Jackie replied immediately, slightly more defensively than she needed to. "But surely it's not something you can hide from her completely?"

"For the time being I can," Rowie answered.

Jackie knew when to back off.

"How you finding work?" Jackie continued.

"Boring," Rowie answered. "I dunno. Going to see how it goes for a while. I'd sort of decided to move on. Well, a week ago, anyway."

"Leave, you mean?" Jackie spoke as innocently as possible, despite already having heard the news of Rowie's resignation from Kate.

Rowie nodded slowly.

"What would you do?" Jackie asked.

Cupping her head in her hands, Rowie considered her response. "Travel. Then maybe specialise, or just do some clinic work if nothing came up."

"Travelling would be amazing." Jackie sighed enviously.

"Where would you go?" Rowie smiled.

"Everywhere; anywhere. Europe, Asia," Jackie answered.

"What's stopping you?" Rowie pursued.

"Being base sister at the moment. Staff resources." Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. But you must have as many weeks accrued leave as I do? More even, you've been here longer." Rowie shrugged.

"Oh, I've lost count," Jackie paused. "But what, go on my own?"

"I'd go with you." Rowie's smile broadened as she actually considered the idea. "I was going to do Italy, but we could get through quite a bit of Europe in three or four weeks."

"You're serious?" Jackie smiled back.

"Why not? I mean, give it a few months or something, but surely if we planned enough in advance, Geoff could arrange replacement staff." Rowie pulled herself back into a sitting position.

"I'm game if you are," Jackie agreed with a keen grin.

**XxXxX**

_0840, Wednesday, 25/3/92_

_Two Days Later_

"Oh, now it's all coming back to me," Sue smiled, as she glanced down over the red outback.

"And it's really the same plane?" Jackie shook her head in bewilderment, referring to Sue's earlier comment upon first boarding.

"Absolutely. The patch work on the ceiling right there, gave it away." She smiled, pointing to the cream-coloured tape.

"Gettin' kinda lonely up here folks!" Johnno stuck his head through into the cabin, with a deliberately pitiful expression on his face.

"Sue?" Rowie offered, gesturing to the cockpit.

"Oh, no thanks. Once you hit forty, the allure of the scenery gives way to arthritis." She smiled, having spent too many years crawling and climbing her way in and out of that cockpit.

"For heaven's sake, I'll go." Jackie unbuckled her seat belt.

Sue waited until Jackie had settled herself up front before standing up and moving over to where Jackie had been sitting next to Rowie.

"So where'd you study?" Sue asked, trying to break the ice and establish a deeper rapport with her colleague.

"Sydney Uni," Rowie answered immediately. 'You?"

"Same." Sue nodded. "Graduated '79. Before your time I imagine?"

"Only just. First year was 81." Rowie nodded.

"Where were your rotations?" Sue continued in a cheerful tone.

"Ah, Royal North Shore, mainly. Then I did my residency at Prince of Wales," Rowie answered, slowly warming up to the conversation.

"Never know, our paths might have crossed. I spent about a year of my residency at North Shore." Sue paused to glance out over the country side.

Choosing her words awkwardly, Rowie looked between the window to her right and Sue. "Sorry, I've probably been a bit, ah, standoffish towards you these last few days."

"Oh, that's ok. I know it's been a rough week for you," Sue shrugged.

"You do?" Rowie looked over at her, not sure whether to feel surprised or humiliated.

"Well, Geoff mentioned you were all left in the lurch after the other doctor left, and then you had an emergency on Saturday, with four fatalities and an explosion. Be enough to leave you all a bit on edge." Sue shrugged.

"Yeah," Rowie sighed. "It wasn't just that, though."

Sue noticed the apprehensive expression on her colleague's face.

"What Geoff probably hasn't told you, is that there has been quite a bit of tension around this place for months. The doctor who left, well, he was Chief Medical Officer, and let's just say the two of us didn't exactly get along." Rowie shrugged, waiting to gauge Sue's reaction.

"Yeah, it's hard in such small working communities when there's tension. But you must be happy he's left?" she hinted.

"You could say that," Rowie trailed off.

"Typical know-it-all, arrogant type I bet?" Sue guessed.

"Aren't they all until they hit forty?" Rowie rolled her eyes.

"You've got a point there," Sue laughed. "Geoff seems okay?" she spoke cautiously.

"Geoff's great." Rowie nodded. "But he's over forty," she smiled.

"True." Sue nodded. "Either that or you get that clinging-to-your-apron-strings school-boy type."

"I guess a lot of people do medicine for the wrong reasons," Rowie considered.

"That's probably it," Sue replied thoughtfully. "I think when there's that family tradition, you know, my grandfather's a doctor, my father's a doctor, therefore it's my legacy to be a doctor, it always makes me question whether their heart is truly in it."

"I can certainly say that wasn't my story." Rowie glanced back down at the passing outback.

"What was your motivation for doing medicine?" Sue asked out of the blue.

Rowie paused, not having expected the question. "Well, honestly, at first, because people said I couldn't do it. Not the best reason, I know. I knew I wanted to do something intellectually demanding, like law or medicine. But, having grown up here, I saw the difference good doctors make to the community. That was enough for me to choose medicine over law. And then I found I had a natural empathy with patients, which convinced me I'd made the right choice." Rowie slowly looked over at Sue. "You?"

"Oh, I was telling Jackie; as a nurse, I got fed up with how they are treated by a lot of the doctors. I had the empathy for nursing. I suppose I just got bored intellectually. I was always questioning doctors' decisions, just not 'staying in my place', as one matron put it."

"Sounds like you made the right move." Rowie nodded.

"I doubt my kids see it that way," Sue smiled. "My ex-husband was a doctor too, and it still amazes me that they have no problem with their father working ten hour days, but whilst I was training and then working; heaven forbid Mum wasn't home to iron a school uniform or drive them to a cricket match."

"Don't even get me started on gender inequality." Rowie rolled her eyes.

"They say we can have it all, but we're the ones who pay for it, not the men, I can tell you," Sue sighed.

"I bet your ex-husband never had to work part-time or iron a shirt?" Rowie speculated.

"Oh, of course not!" Sue baulked. "David was your typical young, arrogant doctor. I finished my nursing training when I was twenty. David was in second year med when we met, I suppose I saw that as sort of a sign that I was meant to follow," Sue quickly corrected, "the medical school path, not necessarily him," she laughed.

"So you had kids, when? Whilst you were studying?" Rowie clasped her hands around her left knee, intrigued.

"Two before, when I was still nursing part-time. The last one came as an unexpected surprise, right in the middle of my third year. Contraception in the late sixties isn't what it is today." Sue shrugged.

"How on earth did you manage?" Rowie shook her head.

"Determination. I wasn't about to sacrifice medicine, so, between my mother and childcare, I just made it happen. The kids still resent me for it, but, they'll get over it," Sue sighed in relaxed acceptance.

"So, when amidst all that did you divorce?" Rowie continued the conversation, slowly beginning to let her guard down. She knew she felt at-ease with Sue's genuine light-heartedness.

"Oh, years later. We were in general practice together. Three kids, and he suddenly tells me he's fallen in love with this twenty year-old nurse. I suspected he'd been having an affair, so it was good to finally get it all over and done with as far as the marriage went. What I wasn't expecting, was the way he was going to behave during the divorce. Everything was a battle financially, despite me continuing to be the primary caregiver for the kids." Sue exhaled slowly at the memory.

"Men." Rowie shook her head. "How'd you cope?"

"Well, the kids were older, I just kept working. They certainly didn't appreciate the cut-backs on luxuries that we went through. But I think the two older ones are starting to see their father's selfishness now." Sue nodded thoughtfully. "My only advice if you go down the marriage path, is protect yourself financially." Sue sighed regrettably.

"Oh, that's not happening, don't worry." Rowie rolled her eyes.

"Are you going to specialise?" Sue pre-empted immediately.

"I was thinking about it." Rowie nodded. "A week ago, I would have said definitely. I was going to head back to Sydney; get into private practise, or specialise."

Rowie looked up, just as she felt the plane commence descent.

"You two buckled up?" Johnno's head appeared.

"Yup," they both answered, knowing the routine all too well.

"You've done this before." Rowie glanced over at Sue.

"It's like riding a bike." Sue smiled.

**XxXxX**

_0225, Thursday, 26/3/92_

_One Day Later_

Jackie poked her head around the kitchen of the pub, seeing Rowie pour the hot chocolate into a mug.

"Enough for two." Jackie shrugged, with a smile.

"Sure." Rowie gestured to the small saucepan, as she sat on the edge of the kitchen table.

"Well, I know why I'm not sleeping, what's your excuse?" Jackie poured another mug of hot chocolate. "Sorry, silly question," she apologised.

"Benzodiazepine withdrawal is my guess," Rowie rolled her eyes. "Rebound effect is worse than before I even started taking the stupid things."

Jackie gave a sympathetic smile. "What happens if you try to sleep?" Jackie sipped the hot chocolate.

"I wake up every half an hour. I'd prefer not to sleep at all," Rowie took another sip of the warm drink. "So why aren't you asleep?"

"Pondering my life," Jackie muttered vaguely.

"Aren't we all?" Rowie shook her head.

"Life never turns out the way you think it will," Jackie sighed. "I mean, I'm going to be thirty in a couple of years I'm still living in a hotel."

"Try doing medicine. This is my first posting," Rowie rebutted.

"I thought about doing it last year, you know? Going back. But, I realised I enjoy the emotional involvement of nursing." Jackie dismissed quickly.

"Yeah, it's a delicate balance. I wouldn't have had the patience for nursing," Rowie acknowledged honestly.

"It gets pretty boring at times. But at least there's not the accountability that you have."

"True. I don't know how you tolerate having to kowtow to doctors," Rowie shrugged.

"Indeed," Jackie trailed off, remembering the time Guy arrogantly insisted that she address him as doctor whilst they were at work, as well as the numerous occasions he would snap his fingers at her for an instrument, or thrust a patient file into her hands, just expecting her to take it.

With a smile, Rowie nodded. "It was all I could do to get through my internship and residency; residents are treated appallingly, especially the female ones. I had one consultant who pretty much spoke to me as if I was a nurse in a white coat. I don't know how I made it through that rotation without being reprimanded!" Rowie rolled her eyes at the memory.

"Hopefully it will get better. In another twenty years or so, gender won't mean anything." Jackie nodded.

"Well, we're getting there." Rowie nodded. "It's just as bad for male nurses though. The exclusion at any rate."

"I hadn't thought of it, but yeah. Most patients prefer female nurses. Even the men," Jackie considered.

"Yeah, I wonder why?" Rowie scoffed knowingly.

**XxXxX**

_1745, Thursday, 26/3/92_

Clare slung her handbag over her right shoulder, just about to switch off the lights when she saw a familiar head of auburn hair across the room.

"Thought you'd left with the others." Clare smiled, crossing the room. She paused in the doorway, having not received a response.

"Rowie?" Clare frowned.

"Sorry, Clare?" Rowie turned around to look at her.

"I thought you'd left with Sue and Jackie," Clare repeated gently.

"Oh, no. You go on, I'll lock up." Rowie nodded, reaching for the bundle of keys.

"Sure," Clare muttered, handing Rowie the keys. She paused momentarily, but knew better than to second-guess her colleague. "See you tomorrow, then."

"Night," Rowie answered quickly.

Hearing Clare's shoes click along the floor as she departed from the office, Rowie hadn't realised she'd been holding her breath, until she heard the glass door close.

Exhaling slowly, Rowie reached for notepad in the front of her medical bag.

_All I have to do is make contact._

Rowie thought over Detective Hughes' words from earlier in the week. She'd given the same advice to patients countless times, just assuming they'd follow her instructions.

She glanced down at the small notepad and forced herself to dial the phone number.

"Maureen speaking," a mature, professional voice answered quickly.

"It's Dr Rowie Lang here. Detective Louise Hughes gave me your contact details." Rowie felt the words slip effortlessly from her lips.

"Dr Lang, it's good to hear from you. Can you give me one moment, sorry, right in the middle of feeding a very hungry German Shepherd, and if I don't put the food into the bowl, I might just lose an arm." Maureen paused, feeding the dog quickly and moving back inside to her study.

"Sure," Rowie felt her smile broaden. She liked this woman already.

"Ah, so sorry," Maureen sat down at the desk, quickly locating a notepad and pen. "Do you mind if I take the occasional note; I keep all my files confidential and I don't record any names, places. It's just for me to look at our progress, keep track of where we're up to between chats."

"No, that's fine. I know what you mean," Rowie answered quickly.

"Well, the most I know from Louise is that you're a GP? And you're working rurally?" Maureen checked.

"That's correct," Rowie hesitated, "I'm with the Royal Flying Doctor Service. We're based in Cooper's Crossing. It's just a small town slightly north of Broken Hill. You're in Sydney, I take it?" Rowie quickly dropped the blue biro from her right hand, when she heard herself click it for the fifth or sixth time.

"Well, I know Broken Hill. And yes, I'm in Sydney. I'm a clinical psychologist, and I have a part-time practice here in Mosman, but I also do phone counselling, and a lot of my work comes through the New South Wales Rape Crisis Centre," Maureen paused, and adjusted her tone immediately. "Sorry, I'm not usually as blunt as this. I hear the word doctor and," she trailed off.

"No, no, it's fine. I prefer it honestly," Rowie interjected sharply. "Professional mode kicks in."

"Exactly," Maureen's voice warmed. "So, tell me whatever you're happy telling me. It helps if I can build up a bit of a background; are you comfortable just telling me a bit about yourself? Where you are professionally, family, support networks," Maureen left the question open.

Rowie felt an eerie sense of Déja Vu wash over her.

_So this is what it feels like to be the patient._

"Um, sure. I'm twenty-nine, finished my residency in Sydney a couple of years ago. There is no personal life. Um, the only family I'm in contact with is my father. Although he's a chronic alcoholic, so he's by no means a support network. I've got five older brothers, three of whom are also alcoholics, scattered around the country. My mother died when I was young," Rowie paused. "Is that enough so far?"

"That's great, Dr Lang." Maureen glanced down at the dot points she'd made, several items red-flagging themselves as potential causes for concern. "What about friends, other supports available to you?"

"Well, work colleagues mainly. It's a very small country town. We all see too much of each other. Mostly, that's a good thing." Rowie sighed.

"Look, we don't have to talk about the sexual assault at all until you're ready; I just want you to know that. I'm not a Detective. I can only begin to imagine how invasive their reporting procedures are. That's not where I'm coming from. I'm here with your health and safety as my primary concerns. I was especially keen to hear from you, because Detective Hughes informed you'd returned to work quite quickly, and I want to make sure that you get the support you need, so that you're able to continue to provide the best care to your patients."

Rowie couldn't help but chuckle under her breath. "Sorry. I'm at this moment in my office, staring at a poster that pretty much says exactly that." She re-read the white text on the grey poster on the wall.

"So how have the last few days been at work?" Maureen heard the calmness in her client's voice and decided to embark upon a slightly more direct question.

"Um, busy, well, boring." Rowie paused unexpectedly. "I certainly feel it's hanging over me. Some of it feels like it's other people's reactions though. I just want things to feel normal again," Rowie acknowledged.

"Are you having any problems performing your duties?" Maureen continued.

"No, just over-analysing everything. I'm trying to keep busy to avoid thinking about it, and feeling as though everyone is looking at me sideways all the time. I don't know," Rowie sighed.

"It could be a bit of both. I mean; put yourself in their shoes; you'd be worried if this had happened to one of your colleagues. You'd be looking out for them?" Maureen suggested.

"Yes, of course I would," Rowie answered awkwardly. "I don't know what it is. Sorry," Rowie rested her chin in her left hand.

"Don't be, there aren't any right or wrong answers in this, Dr Lang." Maureen smiled.

"Please, just call me Rowie," she insisted. "Sorry, I'm not used to opening up to people; it's a habit that's hard to break," Rowie apologised.

"Would I be right in saying you didn't have many people you could talk to growing up?" Maureen suggested softly.

"That's the understatement of the year," Rowie answered quickly. "My best friend died when I was ten, several months later, my Mum too. I don't know if you know what small towns are like. Everyone knows everyone; everyone's family. You are your family; good or bad. I kept to myself because it was the only way to cope," Rowie admitted.

"That was going to be one of my questions. How have you coped with traumatic events in the past? Like your mother passing away?" Maureen enquired.

"I don't know, I just kept going I suppose. I was very angry. I think I coped through shielding my hurt with anger. High school was probably the worst time. Lots of bullying, rejection, isolation. I just focussed on study and pushed it all away." Rowie thought back over her final few years at the Crossing as a teenager.

"So, it sounds like it worked. I mean, you survived. You made it through medicine," Maureen spoke encouragingly.

"I suppose. I know I'm pretty strong; it takes a lot to really hurt me. I've grown up with verbal abuse, bullying, neglect. Typical of any child growing up in a poor family with alcoholic parents I suppose. Water off a duck's back by the time I got to high school. I think I dealt with it by telling myself I'm not going to let the other person win. That I won't let it get to me."

"I'm not saying outward anger is ideal, but it is certainly preferable to that anger being turned inwards into depression. It sounds like you dealt with an enormous amount of pain in as healthy a way as anyone could. You turned the negative energy into a positive action through your career." Maureen waited just long enough for her words to be absorbed before continuing. "Where I'm going with this, is that I want to know what stressors and challenges you've faced in life prior to last week; how you dealt with them; so that I can get an indication of the possible coping mechanisms that you will automatically implement over the next few months. I want to know whether you dealt with school bullying through depression or crawling into a whiskey bottle, because it provides a very reliable indicator of how you'll cope with this trauma." Maureen looked down at the notes in front of her.

"I didn't deal with it, I just ignored it." Rowie sighed. "So how do you know I'm not going to deal with being raped by crawling into a whiskey bottle?" Rowie asked suspiciously.

"I don't," Maureen replied quickly. "How do you think you're going to cope with it?"

"I've been telling myself for the past week that I just want to work. I just want to ignore it. I mean, move on from it, stop everything and everyone in my life reminding me of it," Rowie answered.

"No, I understand. The re-victimisation can be harder to deal with than the assault itself. It must be tough in a small town, especially. In a city, things can happen and people keep it to themselves for months. That's not necessary a good solution either, Rowie," Maureen continued.

"I'd settle for a happy medium. I'd like to not have to work every day beside the same people that did my rape kit for god's sake! I've got my best friend and my ex-boyfriend both thinking that making threats of revenge are what I want to hear. I mean, I'm sure I'd say exactly the same thing." Rowie paused, thinking if Jackie had been in her shoes. "No, I _would_ say exactly the same thing. I never realised how damaged it makes the victim feel. I even hate that word. It's all so disempowering." Rowie sighed.

"You're absolutely right. And I get the sense you really don't like feeling disempowered?" she hesitated. "Some people do, they love playing the victim card. But that's not you?"

"It was feeling disempowered by the whole situation that got me into this mess." Rowie rolled her eyes, and proceeded to talk Maureen through the entire chain of events, beginning with the case of Myalgia Encephalitis involving Matt Sheridan.


	20. Chapter 20 - Flashbacks

Chapter 20 - Flashbacks

**XxXxX**

_1220, Friday, 27/3/92_

_One Day Later_

Geoff and Johnno sat in the door of the Nomad, looking out over the dozen or so people who had gathered for the clinic run.

Jackie watched as Rowie adjusted the tourniquet a second time.

"Sorry," Rowie apologised, continuing to palpate his lower arm for a vein.

Jackie frowned; surprised at the difficulty Rowie was having locating the vein. It seemed quite visible to her.

"What me to try?" Jackie asked softly.

Dismissively, Rowie shook her head, squinting and swallowing as she managed to insert the needle.

Jackie looked between Matt Sheridan and Rowie while the blood sample was taken.

"All right." Rowie took a step backwards, as Jackie pressed the cotton swab over the insertion site.

"Well, hopefully your blood tests will show an improvement Matt," Rowie concluded the consultation.

"Yeah, well, it's been a lot better these last few months. Medication's really helped me sleep too. Not as tired during the day." He looked down as Jackie fastened the cotton wool to his lower arm with a small strip of surgical tape.

"That's good." Rowie nodded, looking between her patient and the plastic pathology bag. "Well, I'll let you know how the tests come back, otherwise, don't hesitate to call in if there are any problems."

"Thanks Rowie," Matt answered with a smile.

Jackie watched as he stood from the chair and walked slowly back towards the small cluster of patients sitting under the shade beside the Nomad.

"You sure you're all right?" Jackie stepped closer to Rowie, keeping her voice dropped.

"Just tired," Rowie shrugged. "Who's next?" She made several notes on the small patient card.

"You can stop for a cup of tea, you know?" Jackie suggested, slightly more forcefully.

Rowie turned away, pulling the examination gloves off her hands and tossing them onto the pile of medical waste on the ground. "I'm fine, just go get the next patient."

Giving Rowie a final concerned glance, Jackie headed back out behind the blue screen towards the aircraft.

**XxXxX**

"Lucky last," Geoff muttered as he headed off towards the single remaining patient.

Johnno watched as Rowie finished writing up patient notes.

He waited until she had closed the file and started cleaning up.

"Gonna keep avoiding me forever?" Johnno stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Rowie shrugged, continuing to repack her medical bag, refusing to make eye contact with him.

"You all right?" Johnno eventually asked, chancing a quick glance in Rowie's direction.

"Yup," she replied sharply, before sighing and slowly turning to look over at Johnno. "Sorry."

"Anything I can do to help?" Johnno offered, knowing he was wasting his time encouraging her to talk about it.

"Just forget all about it," Rowie muttered.

Johnno tried to think of anything to say that would break the painful silence. "Have you heard from the coppers?" Johnno continued carefully.

"Not for a while," Rowie answered, slightly less defensively.

"You can't keep runnin' from it." Johnno stopped abruptly, seeing the anger flash across her face. "Sorry. Talkin' to me's probably the last thing you feel like doing," he considered.

"It's not you." Rowie rolled her eyes. "Johnno, every time anyone tries to talk about it with me, I end up going through it all over again. Please, just leave it," she insisted.

Giving Rowie a quick sideways glance, Johnno was impressed she'd at least articulated her objection. "Sure." He nodded in understanding.

**XxXxX**

_1520, Friday, 27/3/92_

Geoff tapped Jackie's shoulder, gesturing for the nurse to move up to the cockpit.

As he moved towards the back of the plane, Geoff watched Rowie flutter her eyes open, trying to nap, but knowing she was kidding herself.

"Today was a bit more demanding than I expected." Geoff took a seat beside her.

"Yeah." Rowie sighed.

"You look as tired as I feel." Geoff smiled softly.

"Benzodiazepines clearly don't like me, so that doesn't leave me many options besides insomnia," she answered.

"What about just some temaz?" Geoff suggested.

"After the last couple of days I've spent struggling with rebound effects, no way. It'll go away. I've certainly survived on less sleep than I'm getting now," Rowie replied.

"Perhaps not with quite the emotional strain though?" Geoff cleared his throat.

"Touché," Rowie conceded.

"Look, I said I wouldn't doctor you, and I won't, but if it's affecting your work." Geoff stopped when Rowie looked up sharply.

"Who said it's affecting my work?" Rowie demanded. "Jackie." She glanced upwards.

"She happened to mention you had a difficult time taking bloods this afternoon," Geoff spoke supportively.

"Yeah, but it was nothing to do with being tired." Rowie looked away, concentrating her attention on the passing countryside.

"Do you want to talk about this?" Geoff asked directly.

"Not really. But I will," Rowie conceded.

"Look, no-one's expecting you to act as if nothing has happened. If there's ways we can make this easier for you, then I'm prepared to do whatever will help," Geoff kept his voice calm.

Rowie nodded several times, considering her answer. "It's just, confined spaces that make me, nervous, is probably the best word. If I haven't got a clear line of exit I'm aware of it pretty quickly," Rowie admitted.

"And is it just with men, or everyone?" Geoff frowned thoughtfully.

"It seems to be if there's a man in close proximity to me. It's better if there's someone else in the room. I don't notice it if it's just me and Sue, or me and Jackie for example," Rowie clarified.

"What about right now?" Geoff glanced to their present proximity.

Rowie shook her head. "For some reason, you're the only man I don't notice it with. Patients are my biggest problem. Especially in the wards," Rowie continued.

"Well, what about if you had a nurse accompany you on rounds?" Geoff asked.

"I'd just feel like an idiot," Rowie rolled her eyes.

"Don't," Geoff countered sharply. "Do you want me to have a word with Jackie? We should be able to facilitate it so that your shifts coincide, at least for a few weeks." Geoff looked up at Rowie, seeing the vacant expression on her face.

"Rowie?" he repeated gently.

"Sorry." She blinked. "Yeah that'd help, I think."

"Good." Geoff smiled. "Any other issues I can help with?"

Rowie shook her head dismissively.

"You let me know if there is, all right?" Geoff smiled.

Eventually looking up at him, Rowie simply nodded.

**XxXxX**

_1905, Friday, 27/3/92_

Quietly, Geoff locked the front door behind him and walked past Scarlett's room.

"What a day!" he exclaimed as he spotted Kate across the room reading.

"Was just about to call Clare." Kate looked up from her book.

"Truth be told, didn't expect to be this late. Had to do some roster juggling.

"What's up?" Kate frowned, closing her book and leaning forwards to wrap her arms around her husband's shoulders.

"Nah, nothing really," Geoff fobbed off.

"You missed Scarlett's first precarious steps," Kate answered, deliberately changing the subject.

"Really?" Geoff tilted his head with a hangdog expression.

"Only two," Kate reassured, keeping each of her hands on Geoff's shoulders as they walked through towards their bedroom.

"Well, then I've got an entire weekend to practice with her." He smiled.

"No call? Nothing?" Kate pulled back the quilt, looking up with surprise.

"Nothing," Geoff answered. "Two full days at home with my beautiful girls."

Kate settled herself into bed, alternating her glance between the book in her hands and her husband who was changing across the room.

"We must get Sue around for dinner one night, hun. She settlin' in all right?" Kate asked tentatively, knowing she was only side-stepping around the questions she wanted to ask her husband.

"Hmm," Geoff replied thoughtfully, as he dropped his shirt and socks into the laundry basket beside the wardrobe.

"Geoff?" Kate repeated; she knew when he was distracted by something.

"No, good idea. One night next week, I'll look at the roster." Geoff climbed into bed next to her.

"Clinic run go okay?" Kate turned on to her right side to face Geoff.

"That's not what you're asking," Geoff replied sharply. "Kate, we can't do this. Go and talk to Rowie yourself. I can't be the go-between."

Kate frowned. "So it didn't go all right, then?"

"No," Geoff answered defensively.

"No?" Kate shook her head, confused.

"No, _No_; I mean, we're not doing this. I can't bring information home, share it with you, so that you can then confide in Jackie or Clare. It's all this going behind people's backs that led to this mess. Rowie has to know she can talk to any of us confidentially, without worrying that that information will be divulged.

"Yeah, you're right, hun. I'm just worried about her," Kate cringed.

"Sue's on hospital duty tomorrow, go into town, have a chat with Rowie yourself."

"I've been meaning to go in all week, just been putting it off." Kate closed the book in front of her and placed it on the bedside table.

"Let me look after Scarlett, then?" Geoff encouraged.

"All right," Kate replied. "Have you heard anything from the police?"

Wearily, Geoff wiped his eyes. "They're just preparing for the committal hearing; working out who's going to be called. Finalising paperwork." Geoff closed his eyes.

"The committal hearing's what Steve had to go through, isn't it?" Kate asked.

"Mmm," Geoff murmured, reluctantly opening his eyes. "It's not going to be here though. Most likely Broken Hill."

"Are they calling everyone?" Kate waited as Geoff reached across and turned out the bedside lamp.

"The witness list isn't finalised at this stage, but Jackie and I both have to give expert testimony. Not sure about you and Johnno yet." Geoff looked up at the ceiling as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

"I don't think I could stand being in the same room with him," Kate seethed.

"It's not up to us," Geoff replied. "Anyway, that's all I know for the moment. Keeping it from Sue is another matter."

"She still doesn't know?" Kate baulked.

Silently, Geoff shook his head. "My hands are tied. Rowie'll tell her when she's ready."

**XxXxX**

_1010, Saturday, 28/3/92_

_One Day Later_

Nancy looked up from the bar as Kate crossed the room and smiled softly at her.

"Morning, love!" Nancy beamed. "Where's that gorgeous little girl?"

"Oh, Geoff's got the day off, so he wanted to look after her." Kate smiled to herself.

"Aw, isn't that wonderful. Cup of tea?" Nancy gestured through to the kitchen.

"I'd love to Nancy, maybe a little later?" Kate lowered her voice as she rested her arms on the edge of the bar. "Have you seen Rowie around this morning?"

With a long sigh, Nancy shook her head sadly. "Hardly seen her at all the last week or so. Comes straight home from work and heads up to her room, poor love. I offer to bring her up a meal, but she's not interested. Can't understand how she can just be working as if nothing has happened."

Kate nodded uncomfortably, aware of the strangers within listening distance of their conversation. "I came in to have a chat with her actually. Do you know if she's upstairs?"

"I guess so, I haven't seen her all morning," Nancy replied.

"I'll come back and have that cup of tea, Nancy." Kate smiled, before stepping back from the bar and heading towards the stairs.

**XxXxX**

Poking her head around the doorway of the ironing room, Kate stopped.

"Hi," Kate announced, as she stepped into the room.

Looking up at the sound of a voice, Rowie forced a small, obligatory smile.

"Been looking for you everywhere," Kate spoke in a deliberately jovial tone.

"Well, here I am," Rowie replied, hanging the freshly ironed blouse on a coat hanger and picking up the next item of clothing from the washing basket.

"Yeah," Kate trailed off, remaining quiet for several moments as she watched Rowie continue ironing. "You're not working today?"

"On call tonight," Rowie answered without any expression in her voice.

"I didn't have a chance to catch up with you these last few days; wanted to see how you're going." Kate threw herself into the conversation.

"I'm okay." Rowie shrugged, deciding on a more direct response. "Not getting much sleep, but that doesn't surprise me."

"Have you spoken to Geoff?" Kate asked, regretting her question as soon as she saw the frustrated look cross Rowie's face.

"There's nothing he can do," she snapped, focussing her attention on the ironing. Rowie paused. "I can't work with meds, and if I can't work, I really would go crazy."

"Sorry," Kate whispered, glancing back out into the corridor to ensure they were still alone. "Work going okay?"

Without giving a verbal reply, Rowie dismissed the question with a shrug of her shoulders.

Shaking her head, Kate turned around and slowly closed the door between the corridor and the ironing room.

Rowie looked up at the sound.

"This is ridiculous, Row." Kate paced across the room until she was leaning against the cupboards, now only metres from where her friend stood.

Looking down at the iron in her right hand, Rowie slowly placed it back on the end of the ironing board.

"Kate, there's nothing you, or anyone can say that's going to make the slightest bit of difference. No, I'm not fine, but then I wouldn't expect to be, would I?" she muttered sarcastically.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Kate asked hesitantly.

"_No_," Rowie replied indignantly. "I wish I'd never said anything in the first place."

"Don't be silly. You can't be expected to cope with this on your own." Kate folded her arms.

"Why?" Rowie looked up deliberately.

Kate frowned, seeing the anger flash across Rowie's face.

"I've always coped on my own, it's what I do. Believe it or not, this isn't the worst thing that's happened to me, so there's no reason to think I won't get through this just as I have everything else." Rowie swallowed, refusing to make eye contact with Kate.

Kate remained silent for several moments, watching as Rowie continued ironing.

"I didn't mean to say you can't cope," Kate trailed off, dropping her hands down with a shrug. "I thought it'd be easier with help. Lord knows, if it were me,"

"I'm not you, Kate," Rowie defended fiercely. "About the worst thing you've ever been through was having to decide which of the half a dozen or so boys you had hanging off you, you were going to take to the school dance. And then feeling oh, so guilty about the other five that you let down."

The room fell into silence.

"Well, actually, I have been in a similar situation Row," Kate proceeded carefully, not sure of the response she would get.

"You?" Rowie scoffed, slowing lifting her gaze to lock eyes with Kate.

"Years ago, before Geoff and I were married," Kate commenced hesitantly. "I've never told him. I didn't want to force him to choose," she paused. "It was his younger brother, Barry."

"What happened?" Rowie enquired sceptically.

"He took me on a drive, away from town. We were down by the creek. Talking. And then all of a sudden he was kissing me." Kate glanced around the room, realising this was the first time she'd thought about the event in years. "I told him to stop, I pushed him away. It wasn't until I threatened that if he did rape me, I'd take him to court and see him end up in gaol that he did eventually stop. I convinced him, but I was still terrified on the inside." Kate frowned. "I know it's not the same, but, I thought it might help to know my life hasn't been perfect as you think it has."

"I think that's why it was such a shock; I kept expecting him to stop." Rowie blinked several times, keeping her eyes downcast. "I don't want to talk about it Kate." Rowie shook her head.

"It won't stop you remembering, Row. I know that much at least," Kate justified.

"Well if talking about it does such wonders, why haven't you told your own husband?" Rowie looked back over her left shoulder.

"Because I was ashamed. Embarrassed, I suppose." Kate shook her head. "I've told 'myself for years that I didn't want to ruin the relationship between Geoff and his brother, but that's not the whole truth. No-one likes to think that they can't cope. That they're vulnerable." Kate saw her friend nod several times. "I think that's why I haven't been able to tell Geoff. To this day, you're the only person I've told."

"I wish I'd had that much of a choice. Jackie knew the second she touched me." Rowie squinted. "I don't remember much, which just makes me feel even more humiliated than I already do."

Kate nodded, choosing her words very carefully. "I just wanted you to know that you can talk to me, anytime. I can't begin to imagine,"

"Stop it, Kate! For God's sake, I think that's the worst part of this. The pity. The sympathy," Rowie trailed off. "What he did wasn't enough, I now because this fragile victim in your books as well." Rowie folded her arms tightly across her chest.

Kate paused, realisation slowly dawning on her that everything Rowie was saying was true. "You're right."

Rowie sighed. "This isn't about right or wrong. Can't you see that? I just want to be who I was two weeks ago. He doesn't get to steal that as well."

Kate had no option other than to nod slowly. Anything else would have been pity.

"Most of the time I don't know what I'm doing; I'm just trying to get through each day. And that's no easy feat on three hours sleep each night. I don't know my way through this any better than you do; but I at least want to be the one in control."

"Yeah," Kate answered inadequately.

Rowie sighed. "For the moment, I'm hanging on to the hope that things will just improve with time. There's nothing else I can do," she admitted helplessly.

"Just wanted you to know that if I can help in any way, I want to," Kate eventually answered.

Looking up from studying the floral pattern of the ironing board cover, Rowie met her gaze. "Thanks Kate."

**XxXxX**

_1645, Monday, 30/3/92_

_Two Days Later_

Rowie pulled off the surgical gloves and tossed them into the nearby medical waste bin.

"They all settled in?" she asked, as Jackie walked back into the room to clean up.

"Both sound asleep." Jackie smiled.

"I was about a minute away from doing a section." Rowie crossed the room to the sink to wash her hands.

"And that's her fifth, you'd think they'd be falling out," Jackie laughed as she paced quickly around the delivery room, moving everything back into place.

"Why anyone would want to do that five times is beyond me." Rowie dried her hands, glancing slowly around the room.

It wasn't until then, that realisation slowly dawned on her. She hadn't been in the delivery room since the night of the assault.

"Tell me about it," Jackie answered. "One or two, but five?" The smiled dropped from her lips when she saw the cold expression on Rowie's face.

Rowie remained silent; leaning back against the sink as the memories washed over her.

"Rowie?" Jackie asked cautiously.

Rowie shook her head dismissively.

Jackie crossed the room to Rowie's side, as she realised what was happening. "What is it?" Jackie asked softly.

"The light," Rowie replied, gesturing to the ceiling.

Jackie nodded, watching as Rowie blinked several times.

"I was cold. I remember a warmed blanket being put over me?" Rowie swallowed, as she turned to Jackie for confirmation.

"You'll probably remember up until the Midazolam," Jackie stated.

"I hate not remembering." Rowie looked down at Jackie's hand on her upper arm.

"Anything you particularly want to know?" Jackie spoke quietly.

"Why'd Geoff order the diazepam and midazolam?" Rowie asked directly.

She saw the awkward expression on Jackie's face.

"The exam was pretty traumatic; it was either sedation, or Geoff was considering transferring you," she trailed off inadequately.

"Oh," Rowie muttered, considering that she had been better off not knowing.

"It's probably a good thing you don't remember." Jackie rubbed her shoulder lightly.

"Just fragments," she replied vaguely. "Anyway, let's get this mess cleared up."

"Look, I'll finish up here, if you like? Why don't you get a cup a tea?" Jackie offered.

"Thanks, Jac." Rowie reached for her watch by the edge of the sink, checking the time. "Damn it. I've gotta get back to the base. Sue's due off at five and I said I'd run over the medical chest restocking procedures with her before tomorrow."

"You're on until ten?" Jackie looked over as Rowie walked hurriedly across the room.

"Then on call until tomorrow morning." Rowie spoke in a tired voice, as she swung open the white door.

With a sigh, Jackie watched until she heard the door close.


	21. Chapter 21 - Absolution

Chapter 21 - Absolution

**XxXxX**

_1750, Wednesday, 1/4/92_

_Two Days Later_

"Oh, it was a riot, Johnno. You should have seen the look on Geoff's face!" Jackie chuckled.

"Was this something to do with what you and Rowie were joking about earlier at the base?" Clare looked up from her meal.

Jackie nodded. "Well, the other night, we were talking about practical jokes that we've played and fallen for over the years, so we decided to give Geoff a run for his money. Rowie removed the membrane from his stethoscope this morning and stuffed it with cotton wool, so that when he was conducting rounds later on, he wouldn't be able to hear anything," Jackie explained to Clare.

"So is Sue in on this?" Johnno asked.

"No," Jackie glared mischievously. "We get her tomorrow."

"And you don't think all this is just a tad childish?" Clare suggested gently.

"Clare, after the two weeks we've all had, if we didn't act like ten year-olds for a few days, I think we'd consider jumping out of the Nomad without parachutes," Johnno defended quickly. "Now, can anyone get in on this, or is all the fun reserved for your medical lot?"

"Of course not." Jackie smiled. "What could you do?"

"Well, we've got a clinic run Friday. I could always fake an engine failure or something," Johnno teased. "That's the equivalent of practical joking for pilots anyway."

"I think that might be taking things a little too far, Johnno." Clare rolled her eyes.

"Hmm, pity though." Jackie smiled.

"Surely there's something I could do?" Johnno folded his arms, leaning forwards in his chair.

"Let me give it some thought." Jackie nodded. "I'm sure we can put you to good use."

Jackie picked up her fork and recommenced her meal.

Clare looked between Jackie and Johnno slowly before eventually speaking.

"So, how's Rowie going at work?" the radio operator enquired awkwardly.

"Fine," Jackie shrugged.

"Too fine." Johnno rolled his eyes.

"That's what I'm beginning to think. She was still working when I left." Clare placed the cutlery together on her plate.

"At the base?" Jackie frowned lightly.

"Hmm, not that that's unusual for her. Not the last few months, anyway," Clare clarified.

"I'm stayin' out of this." Johnno simply shook his head.

"It's only been two weeks," Jackie considered. "She'll be all right. On a brighter note, Guy's had his medical registration suspended indefinitely."

"Seriously?" Johnno looked over.

"Yeah, well, at least until the trial, or hearing, or whatever comes next in this nightmare," Jackie informed the group.

"Well that's something. Poetic justice in a way." Clare dropped the small smirk from her face when she saw Jackie's unimpressed stare.

"It's not justice, Clare," Jackie stated sharply. "After everything I saw, it's by no means justice." She glanced between them, quickly pushing her chair back. "I'm gonna head upstairs, have a shower."

"Jackie, I'm sorry," Clare spoke quickly.

"You weren't to know." Jackie walked briskly from the table towards the staircase.

"She all right?" Johnno waited until Jackie was well out of hearing range before speaking.

"I'd forgotten how hard this has been for Jackie." Clare glanced down at her hands clasped in her lap.

"Where's Sue tonight?" Johnno looked around.

"Hospital,' Clare answered immediately. "Are you all right?" she turned to Johnno.

"Same as anyone else. Nothin' I can do about it." Johnno shrugged.

"Well, have you tried talking to Rowie?" Clare asked directly.

"Clare, if she's not going to talk to Jackie, she's sure as hell not going to talk to _me_," he answered sharply.

"Why not? She's closer to you than to Jackie," Clare pressed.

"I doubt that," Johnno challenged.

"Oh, come on. She wasn't engaged to Jackie this time a year ago, now was she?" Clare raised an eyebrow knowingly.

"Was engaged, Clare. _Was._ We haven't talked in months." Johnno picked at a cold chip on the edge of his plate. "I'm tendin' to side with Jackie on this. Can't we just leave her alone for a while? Let her get back to normal?" Johnno shrugged.

Drawing a slow breath, Clare knew when she'd pushed him far enough. "Whatever you think, I suppose. Sooner or later, something's got to give though."

"Yeah, I know." Johnno nodded. "Look, I'll keep an eye out, but, well, you know Rowie just about as well as I do, Clare. The closer we try to get, the further she'll back away."

"And the angrier she'll get in the process," Claire replied with a shrug.

**XxXxX**

_2040, Wednesday, 1/4/92_

"It's as if I'm constantly distracted by it, Maureen. The more I try not to think about it, the more I find myself remembering things. And then when it finally _isn't _in every conscious thought, a flashback will completely blindside me; _usually _in the most inconvenient moment." Rowie had been talking with the psychologist for half an hour or so.

"Can you tell me about an experience?" Maureen answered.

"Where do you want me to start?" Rowie sighed. "Last week, my first clinic run, so of course all eyes are on me. Routine blood sample, I've known the patient for years. As I'm palpating his arm to get a vein, I realised I was paying more attention to the hair on his arm. Next second, there it was, the hair on his arm brushing against my face as he's trying to keep my wrists held above my head. I didn't realise I was even looking at the patient's arm, until the flashback was over, and I still hadn't got a vein. Then I've got Jackie right next to me, offering to take over, and I'm still trying to work out what the hell I just remembered! I thought the hard stuff would be delivering babies, making reference to him where necessary when going over documentation; even seeing his name on paperwork. That stuff doesn't bother me in the least."

"So, it sounds as though it's the being taken by surprise by the memories that you are having trouble coping with." Maureen ventured.

"Especially since some of them are new. It's still not all there, I don't know if it ever will be. Sometimes, I don't know whether the sensation I'm feeling is related to something about the attack I just can't remember or not. Sometimes phrases, noises, just put me on edge. Doors slamming. I hate doors slamming. I just about jump out of my skin."

"You said he slammed the door when he came into your room that night?" Maureen confirmed.

"Yeah," Rowie replied slowly. "Okay, so that makes sense, that's related to the attack. But why does it make me feel like I want to hit the ground with my hands over my head?"

"It's a trigger," Maureen answered quickly. "You may not have remembered it at the time, but neurologically, you have connected that sound to the assault."

"Right, but sometimes the connections don't even make sense." Rowie frowned. "It will just be this uncomfortable feeling."

"Can you describe when this has happened?" Maureen encouraged.

"I can't stand the smell of anything sterilised; gauze, bandages, gloves. It's that antiseptic smell; it just reminds me of his hand over my mouth."

"Okay. Be aware of that," Maureen encouraged.

"But I can't figure it out," Rowie complained.

"Try not to worry about figuring it out. Just acknowledge it. Admit it, and watch what your emotions do with a particular memory. Has anything else come back to you since we last talked?" Maureen queried.

"Every night I probably go through it five, six times, whilst I'm trying to get to sleep. I have to sleep on my side, or I just feel, exposed, I guess. So I end up bunched up in this little ball, ensuring I can see the door at all times. Even then, it all comes back to me," Rowie continued. "I just can't remember the ending. And not knowing, feels like a unique violation on its own."

"Why?" Maureen asked, aware of the obviousness of the question.

"Why?" Rowie repeated in frustration. "Because I don't know what the hell happened!"

"You don't know, but I'm guessing you have concerns." Maureen kept her voice neutral.

"Yeah, like what else did he do to me?" Rowie replied angrily.

"We don't have to go there yet, Rowie. But if you can, don't back away from those thoughts. If you find yourself worried about a particular aspect of the assault, try and rephrase it to 'what would that mean if he did?', and give yourself space and time to honestly answer that. As I've said, 'I don't know' is a perfectly acceptable answer," Maureen suggested.

"I'm so sick and tired of all the questions I can't answer." Rowie sighed miserably.

"What one is troubling you the most?" Maureen asked lightly.

Rowie knew the answer in a heartbeat.

"What's the point, I just have to wait another week for the answer." Rowie tried to avoid the question.

"What's the question, Rowie?" she nudged.

"What if I'm pregnant," Rowie eventually admitted.

"Well, what if you are?" Maureen continued.

"I don't want to think about it," Rowie countered immediately.

"No, but I bet you're thinking about it anyway. Give it a try. Work it through. So. What if you're pregnant?" Maureen was betting Rowie had more fortitude than she gave herself credit for.

Rowie swallowed, not knowing where to start. "I can't do this."

"Play it out. Easy way first. Negative pregnancy test," Maureen trailed off.

"Then it's behind me, it's over with," Rowie answered.

"Describe the emotions you associate with that?" Maureen continued.

"Relief, closure. I can draw a line in the sand, and say, that person isn't me anymore," she replied.

"What do you mean by that person isn't you?" Maureen challenged.

Rowie felt the awkwardness of the question. "It's stupid," she trailed off.

"It's never stupid, Rowie. This isn't an intellectual exercise, no right or wrong, okay?" Maureen reminded gently.

"It helps to tell myself that I'm not the person who let that happen." Rowie tried to put the concept into words.

"Why?" Maureen was pretty sure she knew the answer. It was a common reaction.

"I know it's not my fault, you don't have to reiterate that." Rowie sighed. "But, I don't know, it's as if it's a cleansing thing. Once I know that there are no lasting consequences, I can put it in the past."

"What if there were lasting consequences? Positive pregnancy test." Maureen wasn't sure just how far she would be able to get in the next fifteen minutes or so. "How would you feel then?"

"Scared, confused. Contaminated," Rowie answered without even needing time to think.

"And what would it mean if you were pregnant?" Maureen deliberately kept using the word.

"I'd just want to get it over with, but I feel like that goes against everything I'd told myself I'd do. Jesus Christ, it's probably the main reason I never had sex."

Maureen sensed Rowie had just divulged more than she intended to. She gave her several moments of silence to mentally catch up.

"I can't believe I just told you that." Rowie sighed tiredly. "And the choice was taken out of my hands anyway."

"Do the negative emotions of being pregnant as a result of the assault overweigh the negative emotions surrounding your views on abortion?" Maureen questioned.

"You mean which do I feel more negative about?" Rowie frowned. "Him. No question." Rowie sighed, catching on to Maureen's logic. "So, you're saying that if I feel more negative about being pregnant, than I do about abortion; that abortion would be the right decision?"

"No right or wrong. It helps to think it through now, before you know, because, it won't get any easier in a week or two," Maureen advised.

"I'm sick of thinking about it," Rowie countered defensively.

"Okay." Maureen immediately softened her voice. "How's work going?"

Rowie scoffed. "I feel like they're all waiting for me to fall apart. Geoff's the only one I don't feel that is judging my every move. And Sue I don't blame, because to the best of my knowledge she doesn't know."

"Sue's the replacement GP?" Maureen clarified.

"Yup. In some ways I just want to pull her aside and tell her; in other ways, it's nice having one person who doesn't look at me with that pitying expression."

"Are you getting that a lot?" Maureen asked.

"Either that, or they want to talk about it." Rowie sighed. "I dunno who's worse, Johnno or Jackie. Johnno's backed off thank God. Jackie; I dunno. I don't know what I want from people. That's not true. I want them to not see me that way. The sympathy, the awkwardness; I hate being treated like a victim."

"It will get better," Maureen reassured. "It's only been a couple of weeks."

"I had no idea time could go this slowly," Rowie replied, tapping a biro against the notepad on her desk.

"When do you think would be a good time to chat again?" Maureen continued.

"I dunno. Next week," Rowie muttered.

"Same time, done." Maureen smiled. "You're doing really well."

Rowie laughed cynically. "If this is really well, what's bad?"

"Not working, not socialising; abuse of alcohol or drugs, or both. As I said, you're doing really well," Maureen repeated.

Rowie shrugged to herself, "I'll take your word for it; it sure as hell doesn't feel like it."

"Call me at any stage in the meantime; but I'll speak to you next week." Maureen wrapped up the conversation.

"Thanks, night." Rowie placed the phone back in the cradle and checked her watch.

**XxXxX**

_2115, Wednesday, 1/4/92_

Only fifty metres from the front door of the base, Rowie saw a familiar figure walking towards her.

"What are you doing out and about?" Rowie called sarcastically, knowing the answer.

"Nothin' better to do," Jackie replied. "Clare and Sue are chatting about the history of the Service, not my cup of tea." Jackie waited until Rowie had arrived at her side. "Clare mentioned you were still working, figured I might as well keep you company."

Rowie shrugged. "I wasn't working."

"Hmm?" Jackie asked lightly.

"I try and speak with the psych every few days. That's usually what I'm doing when I'm at the base late. About the only way to have a phone call in private around here." Rowie glanced over at Jackie.

"Good," Jackie replied awkwardly.

Both continued walking, aware of the uncomfortable silence.

"I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it?" Jackie finally spoke.

Rowie shrugged, "What do you want to know?"

"I dunno, um, how are you going?" Jackie was taken aback by Rowie's calmness.

"Better than I think I am apparently. It's good to have someone to run it past, who is separate from this place." Rowie shrugged. "According to the psych, I'm high functioning. What would I know, still feels like walking through mud." Rowie stopped by the corner of the main street. "Wanna go for a walk?" she asked.

"Sure." Jackie nodded, and followed her down the main street, walking further away from the hotel.

"Rowie, if anyone can get through this, you can. I don't think I've ever met anyone as tough as you," Jackie reflected. "I, I've always been envious of how strong you are emotionally. Even before this."

"Had to be," Rowie shrugged. "Leaving school every other day in tears from the bullying and exclusion toughens you up pretty fast. It helped get me through medicine. Lots of female med students got harassed by the male students; not to mention the residents and consultants. It never bothered me. I had a senior resident in third year med school who became my role model for how I wanted to conduct myself as a doctor. Kerry didn't take manipulation or sexism from anyone; she didn't play the stereotypical games that others seemed to play." Rowie smiled to herself. "Although, she had a reputation for being better with a scalpel outside of surgery than in surgery, but I never had a problem with her." Rowie shook her head, putting the thoughts into words for the first time in nearly ten years. "How come qualities such as assertiveness, emotional detachment and ambition are expected and praised in a man; yet, when a woman behaves that way, she's a ball-buster, a bitch, or worse?"

"Men are threatened so easily," Jackie agreed.

"Tell me about it. I've seen where that can end up." Rowie shook her head.

"Even consensually, God, they're so, obsessed with their own gratification." Jackie chewed her lower lip, thinking over past encounters during the time she and Guy were involved.

"So I didn't miss much, then?" Rowie confessed awkwardly.

"Hmm, there's nothing quite like lying there, wondering when they're going to finish," Jackie giggled. "You never?" Jackie trailed off, "Forget it, none of my business."

"Had a few close encounters during med school; nothing serious. But I always felt like I was being manipulated." She shrugged. "I'll buy you dinner, I'll do all the late night hours of talking, but, you owe me. Like they're just going through the motions until you finally give in."

"So, you never fell in love with anyone?" Jackie asked, quickly rephrasing. "I mean, it's different when you love someone. You haven't ever felt that? That you wanted to, I mean?"

Rowie considered the question for several moments. "There was one doctor in med school. Big crush. But, it wasn't happening. Think I just got my wires crossed or something. That's the only time I've actually fallen heads over heels in love. The closest I've come since then was Johnno. I made it pretty clear early on that sex wasn't negotiable. And surprisingly, he accepted that. He didn't put any pressure on me. Okay, he didn't put _much_ pressure on me." Rowie rolled her eyes.

"But in this day and age, with contraception and all, I mean, you can have sex without worrying about getting pregnant." Jackie shrugged.

"I know. It wasn't just that." Rowie paused, not sure that she was ready to divulge all her secrets. "Why, ah, how old were you?"

"Oh, ah, twenty, twenty-one I think." Jackie shook her head, never having given the issue much thought. "I mean, I'd had boyfriends as a teenager, fooled around a bit, but I hadn't actually had intercourse until then," Jackie answered casually.

Rowie nodded slowly, feeling regret and misery push down on her shoulders. "Maybe I should have just married Johnno," she muttered.

"Do you love him?" Jackie frowned, having been curious about Rowie and Johnno's relationship ever since her friend had called off the wedding.

"I don't know anymore. I thought I did. How do you know when you love someone enough?" Rowie shook her head.

"You know," Jackie replied immediately. "He's been really supportive, hasn't he?" Jackie considered.

"Yeah. I don't know how much of that is just over protectiveness." Rowie shook her head. "I don't do people being dependent on me. I feel smothered really easily and it just makes me back away," Rowie answered.

"I don't think it should be about dependency, Row," Jackie challenged. "Although, jeez I'm certainly not the world's best judge of relationships am I?"

"You've at least had more of them than me." Rowie sighed.

"That's no big deal. Doesn't count until you meet the right person, anyway," Jackie reassured gently.

"Hmm," Rowie considered awkwardly. "Anyway. Enough wallowing in my screwed up life."

"I wouldn't say that at all," Jackie frowned. "I'd kill to have made it through medicine."

"Okay, professionally, I'm where I want to be. Personally, I don't even _know_ where I want to be." Rowie shook her head.

"Relationships always happen when you least expect it," Jackie replied. "And I'm sick of the emotional toll they take."

"Maybe we just always want what we haven't got?" Rowie suggested.

"Maybe." Jackie shrugged with a tired sigh.

Thinking back quickly over the conversation, Rowie scrambled for words. "So, why didn't you do medicine?"

Jackie blinked. "Oh, I don't know. I never really considered it. I did all right in school, but I was never top of the class or anything."

"Neither was I." Rowie shook her head quickly. "They look at more than marks."

"I had two aunties who were nurses, and Mum encouraged me to at least go to uni. But, money was tight, and I was the eldest. So, I figured if I started nursing training, I would at least be earning some money and be moving out of home, which helped Mum." Jackie sighed, remembering just how hard it had been for her mother after her father walked out on the family.

"Your Dad wasn't around?" Rowie shrugged, realising she knew quite little about Jackie's family life.

She shook her head with a scrunched up face. "Left when I was young."

"Half your luck." Rowie smiled softly. "I think it would have been easier on Mum had Dad run out on us." Rowie paused, realising her comment was a little insensitive. "Sorry," she muttered.

"It's okay. It wasn't that we needed him; it was just so hard financially for Mum. She went from being a doctor's wife, no money-worries, domestic help, totally focussed on her children, to having to suddenly re-enter the workforce at forty to support four young children, scrimping and saving, even just to send us to public school – and we didn't understand why we had to give up all our extra-curricular activities, change schools. Mum felt guilty for disappointing us, furious at Dad, but not being able to show it." Jackie shrugged and glanced around the room.

"Do you keep in contact with your Dad?" Rowie asked tentatively.

"Birthdays and Christmases when I was still at school. Couldn't really be bothered once I started nursing. He's a bit closer to the boys, but, I can't forgive him for what he put Mum through," Jackie answered directly.

"Yeah," Rowie consoled idly.

"Sorry, I'm meant to be supporting you and here I am whinging about my rubbish." Jackie looked up with a smile.

"Don't be silly, I'm sick of talking about me anyway," Rowie sighed.

Rowie pushed her hands into the pockets of her jeans as she looked out over the deserted street. "This is my favourite time of the day. Complete quiet, solitude," she trailed off.

"You often go out walking at night, don't you Row? When we'd all be having late night drinks or something, I'd see you slip out." Jackie glanced over at her.

"I've wandered these streets my entire life, Jac," Rowie reflected.

"At night?" Jackie hesitated. "It never scared you?"

"God no," Rowie chuckled under her breath. "Although like you, this is how I always assumed it happened." Rowie shrugged.

"I was always scared out of my mind, walking back to the nurse's home after a late shift when I was in Melbourne." Jackie shivered slightly at the memory.

"I guess I just thought, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Nothing I can do about it. I wish that's how it had happened." Rowie shrugged.

"Row?" Jackie frowned awkward. "Why do you think it would have made any difference if it was a complete stranger?"

Rowie stopped walking, putting her thoughts into words.

"Where do you want me to start?" She shrugged. "It was the fact that it was so personal, that made it all the more, disgusting, is the only word that sums it up. I'd thought about it now and again over the years, as everyone does at some point; always, it was a stranger. I thought, it's just one of those things, I'd deal with it. Somehow, we're meant to think it's not as bad if it's someone we know; but it's worse, Jac. A stranger knows nothing about you, doesn't care about you, it's an expression of his anger in a generic form. When it's someone you know, it's done purely as a personal attack." Rowie paused, trying to explain what she meant; and not just to Jackie.

"When I was four, my eldest brother broke my arm wrestling. It was an accident. It hurt and it was frightening, but he didn't mean it. At seven, Ben, Frank, and Ian buried me in a mound of sand up to my neck. It terrified me. But they probably didn't realise that. I've been spat at, punched, kicked, you name it, and, it's not the same. When someone victimises you because of how much they want to hurt _you_, purely because of their hatred for you, it's a unique degradation. Just like the school bullies when I was ten; he didn't play fair. There was more to it than hatred and violence though. He used the only weapon he had that I couldn't possibly defend myself against; and the _worst_ thing about it – he _knew _he wasn't playing fair. It didn't matter whether I fought or not; either way he would still win. Trying to fight and failing was all the more of a turn on to him; I just wanted to get it over with. So, I did what I've done my entire life. I surrendered."

Jackie remained silent, not knowing what response to give.

"The hardest part is the mental blanks. I'm working through it, but if I don't remember, I don't remember. I may never remember." Rowie shrugged as she took several steps back towards the main street.

"Could that be the drugs?" Jackie frowned.

"Maybe. I doubt it. More likely a loss of consciousness, but I don't remember why. I spent a bit of time talking about it with Maureen. She's so calm about it, encouraging, but bloody calm."

"Guess she's seen it before," Jackie replied. "It does tend to become routine. It's different when it's someone you know." Jackie touched Rowie's arm. "I know I've said it before Row, but I'm sorry for my part in it."

Rowie shook her head, "It was harder a month ago than it is now." She paused. "I never understood what you saw in him," Rowie eventually admitted.

"He was just the latest bad choice. Story of my life. I'm my mother all over again. Falling for suave, good-looking doctors who think they're God's gift, and treating me like crap for as long as I let them." Jackie shrugged.

"Well, unless Geoff and Kate split up, you've run out of options," Rowie observed with a small smile.

Jackie laughed. "Guess it saves me from myself!"

**XxXxX**

Rowie and Jackie strolled back into the pub and glanced around the bistro as they made their way to the stairs.

"Where are you two squirreling off to every night?" Johnno teased as he came down the final few steps.

"Secret women's business," Jackie replied haughtily.

"Fancy a drink?" Johnno offered, directing his invitation more at Jackie than Rowie.

"On an early, need to get some sleep," Jackie answered.

"Row?" Johnno raised an eyebrow, more as a courtesy than actually expecting her to take him up on the offer.

"Why not. I'm not going to be sleeping anytime soon." She shrugged.

"Night," Jackie dismissed.

"Oh, can you give these to Clare, please?" Rowie handed the bundle of keys to Jackie.

"Sure." She smiled, and paced tiredly up the stairs.

Stuffing his hands nervously into his pockets, Johnno was still getting over his surprise.

"After you," he gestured back out to the saloon.


End file.
